Whoa, it’s kind of been sponsored post whoop-tee-doo up in here for the last little while. Sorry about that. This transition into summer has been really weird and as usual it seems that when opportunities come, they come all at once only you don’t realize it until you’re sitting down recognizing that this strange feeling your experiencing is relaxation bordering on boredom. Thankfully my DVR has been hard at work recording So You Think You Can Dance (!!!) and Breaking Pointe (!!!) I may be 5’2″ with boobs for days and thighs that could sustain a lost hiking party, but in my head I am a lithe and slender ballet dancer.
My cruise is in 68 days meaning BlogHer is less than 68 days away and EVO, where I am an opening keynote Ignite speaker, is way less than 68 days away. This makes me crazy because A) it means I have to get on a plane with my baby who does not do planes well and B) opening keynote y’all, people tend to actually listen to opening keynotes, of which I am one.
Addie has taken to singing about EVERYTHING. Loudly. All this loud singing about everything has led to some pretty interesting songs, I had to stop her during her ‘Yeast Infection Hoedown‘ though, things just got too weird. (See also: Yeasty Beasty diaper rashes are NO JOKE PEOPLE.)
Vivi walks. Just yesterday she figured out how to stand up without holding onto a wall, chair, cat or Cody’s leg hairs. There’s all sorts of politically incorrect things I could say about her walking and most of them involve liquor. I’m not going to be the one writing about drunk babies, especially not drunk naked babies running through the house airing out their yeasty beasty rash.
Speaking of drunk, I’m headed to Zoobilation this Friday night with Cody in a fancy dress. I’m even getting my hair done and if I remember I’ll pluck my random chin, neck, chest and nipple hairs before we leave. I’ve asked Cody repeatedly to alert me to the appearance of these rogue whiskers but he swears he sees nothing but perfection in my existence. It is for this reason (along with several others) that I don’t change the locks on him. We’ll be keeping it classy and completely sober, unless one can get cupcake drunk, in that case all bets are off.
How’s summer treating you so far? Also, what’s your favorite mascara? I’m on the hunt for a new one, preferably one that doesn’t flake or smudge but also washes off when I ask it to.
making unbreakable - formerly moosh in indy. 
Having tried almost every mascara under the sun…I always go back to Lancome Definicils. But not the one with the curved brush. I got that accidentally and I need to be awake so as to not poke my eye. I’m not generally that alert when I put on mascara. 🙂 But, with the straight brush, long, lush, but “real” looking eyelashes. (If gorgeous black lashes belong on my blonder than blondeness…let’s say they do!)
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@Chris, Those curved brushes are what’s wrong with makeup these days.
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I’m wondering how on earth you convinced Cody to wear a fancy dress. No wait, maybe I don’t want to know.
Sounds fun. Please indulge in a cupcake for me!
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@Angi, While I make my living as a writer, grammar will always be my weak spot. That and i before e.
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Just yesterday, my 2.5yo, after removing wet pull-up, was instructed to run to her room and get another one. Resulting butt jiggle was so adorable and entertaining that she was instructed to run back down the hall again before putting on the new one. That is all.
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@Della, I could watch naked Vivi butt all day.
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@Casey, I know, seriously. And the worst part about it is that it’s inappropriate to share. I’ve been so tempted to take pix and send ’em to my mom, and I’m afraid of them getting intercepted by the CIA or something so I never take them 😦
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Mascara, a question I can answer! High end try Benefit’s They’re Real or Bare Escentuals Buxom Lash – insane volume and length in one. For drugstore I’d say the best right now is L’Oreal False Fiber Lash. It does amazing things in a little gold tube.
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I double Buxom Lash. It’s my fave so far.
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@Kelli G., That seems to be one of the front runners.
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@DWJ, I think I’ve tried the gold one, is that the one that Gwen Stefani does the ads for? The They’re Real was at the top of my list.
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@Casey, Yup it’s the one Gwyn Stefani promotes. Another drugstore one is Maybelline’s Lots of Lashes. It’s in the Great Lash family. Also Sephora has a mascara sampler kit too!
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@DWJ,
Count me in for Benefit’s They’re Real. Wonderful stuff! And while asking where it was in Ulta, the girl said it was all their faves there as well. I heard about it from Pioneer Woman, Love it!
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I’m a huge fan of Dior Iconic mascara. I was looking for waterproof mascara a few years ago (stupid contacts!) and a friend suggested it, and I’ve been using it ever since. It doesn’t run when I’m all sweaty from a workout, but I don’t have to rub my face raw to get it off either.
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@Rebecca, Did I use Dior before? Or was that, the other kind? They all start to sound and look the same which is why we have such stupid makeup names, so we can remember them! (NARS orgasm? Never forget it.)
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Drugstore: CoverGirl Lash Blast Volue, Department Store: Chanel. OH MY GOODNESS THE CHANEL. With the little silicone brush. And if you are feeling extravagant, splurge and get the Chanel mascara primer. AND THEN NEVER LOOK BACK.
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@Daisy, Oh! You’re the Chanel lover! Yes, I have wanted to try that one ever since I made the mistake with the other brand…
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I haven’t usually worn mascara, but, as I grow older, ahem, I mean gain wisdom, decided that my lashes could use a little help. I tried several department store as well as drugstore brands and like Maybeline Falsies Flared. I needed some curl in my lashes, and that seems to do it for me. Doesn’t flake or smudge and comes off as easy as any other I’ve tried with eye makeup remover!
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@Amanda, That’s what I like to hear! Plus it’s fun to say Falsies Flared.
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Have fun at Zoob! My boss helps set up every year. They do good work!!
I have eye allergies so no suggestions on mascara as I can’t wear any.
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@RK2, I probably don’t even need to wear mascara but it’s basically the equivalent of a really good bra, just adds a little oomph.
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I just love Vivi’s thighs!!
Have you ever tried plain yogurt on her rash? Bring it to room temperature first! It really works!
I always get itchy eyes and my new favorite mascara is Cover Girl Natureluxe Mousse mascara. I love it!! They make in it waterproof too.
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@kristen, Uh, could I use Greek yogurt? I have lots of that…and can I use it in cloth diapers without any ill effect?
Currently using the Natureluxe! Free sample! WHEE!
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I think it would be great being so much thicker than regular yogurt. Don’t judge me…I never used cloth diapers but I don’t think it would be a problem. THey see much worse than yogurt!
Lucky you with the free sample. I’ll have to check out other products from the line.
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Maybelline Great Lash Washable (the good ol’ pink and green) – worn it since high school, half a lifetime ago. No flaking, no smudging, and it washes off every evening with Purpose and water. And it’s inexpensive (compared to all that fancy, shmancy stuff). I’m also a contact wearer, and it comes right off those (in case of mishaps – common when toddler-holding during application, or is it just me?) with contact solution or saline. It would take much convincing and arm-twisting to get me to switch brands…love it. And those baby thighs…I have some of those at home…they simply slay me!
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@Melissa Smith, I’ve always been happy with that one too. I’ve never been very loyal to mascara though. Blush is a different story.
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Rimmel something… it’s a hot pink tube with gold writing.
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@Jillian, I like those kinds of descriptions, I can remember those.
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As a member of the Screamy-McScreamerson diaper rash gang, try coconut oil. You probably already own it, smells good (coconut booty), and won’t stain your cloth diapers.
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@karen, I used it today! No idea if it worked or not. I use it to shave my legs and deep condition my hair (I also drink it in my daily smoothie but I have a separate jar for that.)
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Yaay, Vivi thighs! Sorry about the yeast. We had that last year. Yeast–not just for girls. Who knew?
Mascara: I am a life-long fan of Maybelline Great Lash, but recently started using Maybelline Illegal Lengths. It has “Fiber Extension.” I like it a lot. Comes right off with a makeup wipe or creamy remover stuff.
Summer is nice. Hot, but nice. My body is not used to free time and is demanding rest. What’s THAT about?
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@Jen L., Yeast is not just for bums either!
Your body sounds like mine, a lover of the nap.
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Vivi makes my heart ache, her cuteness is so awesome. 🙂
Mascara? MAC’s Haute N Naughty. I won’t wear anything else. Go to my girl Lindsay @ MAC or Jentura! 🙂
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@Heather, We discussed this in email, but YAY FOR J.
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mascara . . .Benefit They’re Real.
Volumtatsic.
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@Shawna, You’re vote #4 for this one, I think it’s up next for me to try.
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I loved that Vivi photo when you posted it on instagram.
Have fun at your zoobash i can’t wait to see all the lovely photos.
I am always struggling to find the perfect mascara. I am currently loving Benefit’s “They’re Real” but it definitely requires makeup remover to get off, just water will not do.
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@Marta, I can’t stop looking at it. Especially the unedited version. And you’re vote #5 for Benefit!
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My summer is going good, thanks for asking. I love Lancome’s Dolls Lashes formula, I used to be a Definicils girl and then I was allllll about Dior Show. Let us know what you find, I’m always interested in what Mascara works for others.
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@Amy in StL, Dior Show, THAT’S WHAT I USED. I didn’t like it much. For that much money I expected much more. I’ll keep you updated and hopefully summer continues well for both of us!
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My favorite mascara is Rimmel Extra Super Lash. I swear it works as good as Lancome Defincils – at about 1/10th the price – about $3.75 at Target. I love love love it. And it’s nice because you can try it, and if it doesn’t work for you, it’s not terribly expensive. It only flakes and smudges if you forget to take it off before bed.
Good luck!
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@monstergirlee, I like not being out gobs of money if something doesn’t work.
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“… if I remember I’ll pluck my random chin, neck, chest and nipple hairs before we leave.”
This is a perfect example of why I absolutely love your writing! I read your blog regularly but rarely comment – but since I was just growling to myself about my own randomly sprouting hairs, I had to say thank you for making the weird and occasionally disgusting seem totally normal.
As for mascara, I second the Bare Escentuals recommendation! Love the Buxom Lash or their Flawless Definition waterproof mascara.
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@Anne-Marie, It’s honestly disturbing how many hairs come from places that were previously bare. Especially the nipple hairs. WHAT GIVES?
Thanks for the suggestions!
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Tried and true old school pink with green lid Maybeline… maybe she’s born with lashes that don’t turn raccoon when she sees the P&G Olympic commercial about Moms raising athletes. Maybe she’s born with lashes that still look damn good after she forgets to take her makeup off before face planting into her pillow for the night.
And yes it comes off easily with remover when asked.
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I like Clinique’s Natural mascara.
Don’t forget Bunheads! I’m all set to record that.
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Kevyn Aucoin “The Mascara” — so amazing. It’s hard to explain but when you wash it off it almost peels off. It’s a totally weird consistency and never flakes or smudges: http://www.dermstore.com/product_The+Mascara+-+Volume+-+Rich+Pitch+Black_12701.htm
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I LOVE Loreal’s Voluminous mascara in very black or carbon black. It can get clumpy, so I just use a trick I learned by wiping the brush across the top of the tube before I swipe it on my lashes. Lashes look long and full.
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I just bought They’re Real mascara and they have mini sizes. I tried it and I like it BUT it’s kind of hard to get it all off…
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PS…they mini sizes were at Sephora
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summer starts for me next Tuesday. Let’s do what we used to do. Hang out, feed our kids, and watch them run neeked in the sprinklers. I loved (and miss) it…
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Vivi is the inverse of Charlie…he’s a total bird…bird legs, no booty…still totes cute.
I hate mascara on my long lashes, but i recently found a brand by clinique i like for fancy pants stuff.
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