The average bra size in America is somewhere between a 34B and 36C. In fact 72% of ladies fall within the B/C cup realm.
I was complaining the other night that the underwire on my 34D bra was entrenched between my ever expanding belly and my enormous pregnancy rack. It’s pretty much the pregnancy equivalent of wearing too tight pants that make you fart.
Very uncomfortable.
Twitter suggested I get thee hence to Nordstrom for a proper fitting, so last night I did just that. As soon as I took off my shirt so I could be measured, I heard “Oh honey, what is this a C cup?”
“It’s…it’s a D.”
“Oh honey, that D is tired.”
She measured, poked, prodded, asked about my underwear and went out to gather up some possibilities.
She came back with a pink lacy bra that could have easily caught fallen trapeze artists at the circus and slingshot them back up to their starting point.
I’ll admit, once it was on it looked nothing like my old bra. Instead of cleavage coming up to my chin I had two perfectly lifted and separated ladies. (I also admitted in the dressing room that my ladies are named, Mildred and Unis, apparently it’s not normal to name them, or at least if people do they don’t admit it while a stranger straps them into a couple of pink shopping bags.)
I took a deep breath to look at the price…Nordstrom isn’t exactly the cheapest place to buy bras, but damn they know their stuff.
When I looked at the tag I didn’t see dollar signs. I saw five different sizes in five different languages.
All of them proclaiming me to be so far past average I had entered the porn star realm of chest sizes.
Suddenly I could hear a faint but distinct cheer from the children’s section where Cody was patiently waiting with Addie.
I had completely skipped several letters of the alphabet, while my band size stayed the same. When I let out a horrified gasp my fitter said “Oh honey, you’re not even done either, just wait until you come back for your nursing bras.”
The “Oh, honeys” really took the edge off, it was as if she were standing there staring at my 39″ belly, my giant fun bags and sending out a sincere “bless your heart” to my back.
She brought in more bras to try but the hilarity of their enormousness overtook me and I had to get out.
The one I bought fits on my head like a strange little Lycra helmet.
Addie woke up at 5 am today to play with a new Barbie that Tiny Gramma had given her. Shortly after I got Addie back in bed with threats of Barbies sleeping with the fishes when played with at 5 am I crawled back into my own bed to a sleepy cheer, apparently Cody was excited about his new toys too.
I fell back asleep attempting to appreciate my newest blessings as much as my darling husband and I came up with a few bonuses.
– Cody now has two pillow pets, whereas Addie still only has one. (Don’t tell her though please.)
– When this pregnancy is over and they’re back to their deflated belly button skimming position, I’ll have an excellent reusable cantaloupe/honeydew/pumpkin/watermelon carrying bag.
– Maybe this time they’ll work for the purpose Mozzi requires of them, they never did work with Addie, more on that one later.
– The more I have in front the smaller I look in the back (optical illusions!)
– Given gravity, the amount of time I spend horizontal is only doing my ladies (and my back) giant exponential favors.
– Cleavage is natures pocket for when you don’t want to carry a purse. My pocket has been upgraded to a mid size SUV.
Alli has been demanding that I be pushed around the Opryland Hotel (compound) in a wheelchair this week at the Blissdom conference. My pride says “NO WAY ARE WE BEING PUT IN A WHEELCHAIR!” However everything below my neck says “SCREW YOUR PRIDE AND SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN.”
And right now I can tell you that my boobs alone are bigger than my pride.
(look! me upright (wishing I weren’t) speaking at the monthly Social Media Club meeting in Indianapolis! photo by Joe.)
making unbreakable - formerly moosh in indy. 
I am a staunch believer in good bras. I go once a year to Intimacy to get refitted, spend about a month’s rent, and don’t think about boobs again for another year. The first time I got fitted, I went from a D to an F, and still haven’t gotten over the shock of having another women help me put on my bra.
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While I was pregnant with my 2nd, I was refitted only to find I had gone from a 36C to a 38DD!!!! I was shocked!!!!
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I was fitted in the summer because my husband insisted. Before fitting I was a 36D and after I became a 34G. And I am not even pregnant! I am a little over weight so that us probably a cup size or two but still… I don’t want to think about what they will do once I’m pregnant! Shudder
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I need to be fitted as my bras are dying and I am pretty sure they don’t fit me but last time I went to get fitted the girl didn’t understand gravity (and I am sure we have had this conversation before…) but she thought I was a 32A….ummm, I know its a lot of skin but it is more that than honey…trust me.
Can’t wait to see you next week & I will totally push you around in a wheelchair if you want.
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Oh Casey, I FEEL your pain. I’m excatally the same. started at 34D, ended the pregnancy MUCH larger, and when my milk came in… 34K. Yup, K. Then once nursing get’s back to normal I stay around 34 G or H and the year after nursing? DDD Minimizer (to hold them in some kind of boob like shape! They are the ugliest bra’s known to man.). Now, 4 years after my youngest I’m FINALLY down to DD, but it’s not all full and pretty, They are so deflated I have to roll them up to get them into my bra and do a nipple check (to make sure they are both facing the same way) before heading outside!
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Oh, those Nordstrom bra ladies. I think they’re probably used to people freaking out (my bff cried and refused to buy the bra. Which I then had to buy her.) in their fitting rooms.
Could you have any cuter of a baby bump? No.
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I’m a firm believer in a good bra fitting. I had my first fitting a few years ago and went from a 34C to a 31D. It has made a huge difference! My posture is better, everything stays in its place, and the sun even seems to shine brighter:)
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I have also had this experience but am relieved to have stopped at DDD. I am too afraid with this pregnancy to find out and am just skimming a long in my D cup cotton bras getting them all stretched out. Sigh.
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I have finished breastfeeding my lovely boys and I am still a big breaseted lady. I am a 38 J/k and no one makes a nursing bra that fits. I finally gave up and just took off a normal bra when I breasfed. I will give you hope, because at least you should have no trouble finding nursing bras.
You look lovely, and I am sure you will be back to a DD in no time.
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First of all, I didn’t even know that Indy had a monthly social media meeting?? Tell more!
I’m in serious need of a bra-fitting but I’m kinda scared that I’ll come away shocked like you were 🙂 Glad you have the “girls” fitting a little more comfy now!
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It really is a shame you have to be modest about it.
Also, you thought you were a D? OH, HONEY.
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I had the girls fitted for the first time two years ago. The sticker shock was overwhelming, but so was the comfort. I’m a 34F. We have a boutique shop here in town that does fitting. I went back in the fall and bought 2 more. It is worth every penny!!
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I’m seriously afraid to actually find out what the Nordstom’s bra fitters would have to say to me.
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For the ladies complaining about ugly bras in bigger sizes Lane Bryant sells cacique intimate apparel that is actualy quite cute! They also do fittings in store or you can order them online.
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boobs for miles. I’ll never know what that feels like.
also? you are cute.
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Is it obnoxious of me to say count your blessings? At least you could find a bra at Nordstoms. My 17 year old is a size (I kid you not) 28F. Shopping for her ain’t easy. Poor thing. We’re mostly buying online from a manufacturer in the UK.
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I love this post! I mean…I feel for you, but OH MAN do I know this feeling. I am normally a very small chested woman, but when I had my son my boobs were HUGE. I actually just got rid of all of my old nursing bras two days ago, and I couldnt help but to put one on my head, and laugh because it totally fit!
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That’s my favorite part of being pregnant, though my ladies never reached the heights (or is it widths? depths?) yours have. More power to you! And while we’re at it, could you hold my keys and cell phone? I hate carrying a clutch.
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I feel your pain. Believe me. Being a HH, at 19 years old, not even close to being pregnant….ugh. I’m grateful for Canadian health care, and the free surgery i so, so needed! To this day, i don’t get why girls want boobs…just don’t get it. 🙂
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All I can say is, one of my biggest regrets in the past 3 years is not scheduling boudoir sessions during those 3-4 days after giving birth, while I was engorged. I can’t imagine what they must have been, but I am pretty sure I was past the multiple D stage into another letter. I’ve never been more impressed. Of course, I too have windowshade boobs now. Luckily (?!?!?!!) I had a bad experience with an IUD that has me up 40-50 lbs from my healthy weight, and I bet 1/4 of that weight is in my boobs. So I can squish ’em into an interestingly cleave-y shape when necessary, at least until I lose the weight. Sigh!
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32FF baby! We can be giant chested friends together!
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Maybe they just size them differently at Nordstrom? Perhaps they’re European sizes. 🙂 You’re a lovely cute prego.
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wow girl(s)! i just had a bra fitting. after triplets and a lumpectomy, i had no idea what to do with my boobs. i now tell everyone that a proper-fitting bra will change your life! it’s amazing.
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a) I have never gone to a department store to be fitted for a bra – apparently I should. I’m uncomfortable all the time.
b) I hate when people at the drive-through call me “honey” but in your case, Casey, it’s a good thing if it makes you feel better.
c) I don’t have cute little pet names for mine – I just call them my shelf. When I’m relaxing in my big arm chair with my feet up, a pillow on my lap supporting my laptop desk (which is the top of a tv table with the legs taken off), and a pretty little tortoise-shell kitty comes by and curls up, my shelf is quite handy.
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I sympathize. Buying $65 nursing bras from a specialty store..and now I can roll them up..yep and yep.
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A real fitting makes a world of difference. Here’s hoping this one works for you!
Take the wheelchair ride. Decorate it with some streamers and general awesomeness. Own it. You deserve a little bit of rest in the midst of all the fun.
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Oh honey – the first time I went to Nordstrom for a fitting, I got the same diagnosis. 34 DDD. Shocked is how I felt too. And, my A-cup mom who also got fitted that day, did wear my bra as a hat. It was almost as embarrassing as the day she took me to get my first training-bra…
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OMG, yes. I was a 36DDD when I delivered. I wore the Medela Nursing/Sleep Bras every night during my pregnancy. Most comfortable one I could fine.
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boob-a-licious.
plus also? you are a cute preggo.
❤
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Can I just say that this is one of the reasons I find the idea of pregnancy so alarming?? I know they grow. I know sometimes they stay bigger… I have a friend that went from a B to a permanent D after pregnancy. So.. yeah.. I’m already an F/G depending on the bra… WTF would happen to be during pregnancy? TERRIFIED!
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You look pretteh.
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My first job was a bra fitting girl at Sears. I don’t think one single woman that came in wanted a 16 year old girl to do that, nor did this 16 year old girl want to be within a 50 mile radius of that fitting room. So many war stories to tell….
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Can I just say I feel your pain? I used to be a 36C… after 2 babies I’m now a 36DDD. I’m not even sure I knew they made that size. And no normal store in my small town carries them, let alone in nursing bras. Boo.
It is wonderful to have ones that fit well though!
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So what I really want to know is whether or not you got the pink frilly one. My poor hubby only gets the plain ole white, over the shoulder, bolder holders.
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i saw that picture at flickr & had no idea what it meant. i am a 38A, so i fall in the lower spectrum of bra wearing. they don’t make them in my size at victoria’s secret, even. and don’t think that because they’re small they aren’t pancakes. i just roll them up into my american apparel bralet.
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Great post but has anyone ever likened you to Tina Fey? I’ve seen you in person and never thought it, but in that shot? Twins.
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I’m not even pregnant and my boobs have doubled in size, sneakily, over the last couple of years. I kind of miss them being little, because that pants analogy totally fits. At least when your pants are too tight, you can unbutton them or throw on some sweats. Nothing short of a proper fitting bra can fix that my-boobs-and-my-rolls-are-smooshing-each-other feeling.
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I love Nordstrom, but I think their sizes run smaller than other places. When I was measured there for a nursing bra, I walked out with an F. F!! But they do have nice bras.
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Pre-baby I was a B.
Post baby I was a C.
Letting my best friend convince me to go to Nordy’s and get sized, I walked out a DD.
The only person excited about this was my boyfriend.
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I’ve always been a B to C, and when I was nursing I was an I, I miss those sooooo much. You’re lucky you’ve got such amazing lady lumps, when it comes to being the star of the show, my ass takes first.
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Casey, you are a darling preggo mama and you crack me up. You tell a story like no other and I can’t wait to see you later in the week.
And mozzi, too.
Hugs,
Sarah
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You look great! This post is completely hilarious. Been there, my friend. Been there.
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A bra fitting makes all the difference. I’m at a 32DDD without being pregnant. sigh.
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Hey, I’ve been needing a new melon-carrier! Thanks for the tip!
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Um… I have you beat… same exact situation, was probably 25 weeks pregnant at the time (am 32 now), went to Nordstrom to be fitted… went in wearing a 36C, walked out wearing a 36E!
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I feel your pain. When I went to get fitted, I walked in a b38 and walked out in dd34. OUCH!! I wore a ddd36 while nursing. Do you know bravado nursing bras? http://www.bravadodesigns.com
Best nursing bras ever! Some purely for comfort, some to make the ladies look normal again!
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lol i’m right there with you in the giant boob department…too bad i don’t have a baby in my belly to account for it!
and girl…i sang praises to the rafters after my first proper fitting!
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Girl – wearing your bra, packed with facecloths and a box of tissues was definitely a night I will remember. (For people reading this – I was in a Dolly Parton costume!)
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