the second time around.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted ininfertility, pregnancy

Living with the barfing is much easier the second time around.

The anxiety of ‘ZOMG I’M GOING TO BE SOMEBODY’S MOTHER‘ is easier the second time around.

Figuring out what baby crap is actually necessary and what is just crap is also easier the second time around.

However no one told me that just existing the second time around would be so. much. more. uncomfortable.

Maybe everyone thought since my babies will be almost seven years apart it wasn’t worth mentioning? But y’all. Ow. My hips. My back. My stomach. THOSE ROUND LIGAMENT THINGS…I have officially downgraded them from ligaments to useless. I have a feeling Addie’s Silly Bandz could do a better job at holding my growing uterus up.

Addie and I have taken to playing Just Dance 2 on the Wii daily. Oh man, when I am not pregnant? I am going to OWN that game. But while I am pregnant? Peeing my underpants is a very real possibility. That and me waddling like an old person a few hours later.

I was just warned on facebook that it gets even worse the third time around. Which is why there won’t be a third time. Between the pain thing, the fact that I stink at getting pregnant in a timely manner and what happened in the frozen food section eight weeks ago I’m just not sure my spirit could handle this again. Oh, and my face. Remember when I wrote about petichiae? The capillaries that burst in my face when I barf? Well, here’s an update.

petichiae update. 16 weeks.

Oh it makes me so sad.

See how lovely my neck is? Oh.

It’s really hard to look at.

But I know I’m still under there.

And I know Mozzi is only days away from letting me know he or she is in there with little bubbles and pokes. I’m very excited about that.

I’m also very, very excited to hold a tiny baby. My tiny baby. I never felt this same excitement with Addie. This will probably sound strange, but I haven’t been able to or wanted to hold other babies for a long time. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold any tiny babies until it is mine.

Maybe it’s a self preservation thing.

I mean, every month feels like an eternity when you’re trying to get pregnant. I made it through over fifty eternities in the past six years and those fifty eternities will be resolved in less than 24 weeks.

It’s a lot to handle the second time around.

56 thoughts on “the second time around.”

  1. Ohhh precious Casey. Pregnancy is not a fun thing for people like you and me. I felt so much compassion for you today when you posted that picture. That is one of the reasons that I stopped at one. I could just not do it again. Although, I will have to say that I’m excited to see your wee one.

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  3. I don’t comment too often, but have prayed as I see your struggle here and facebook. Wish pregnancy were not so hard on you. However I know you love that liitle peanut. Just want to encourage you. One of my best girlfriends has HG too yucky stuff. I was her control in that study.

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  5. I sailed through my 1st pregnancy (healthwise, not anxiety wise).

    The pregnancy gods crapped on me during my 2nd pregnancy(20 weeks of morning sickness followed by bed rest.) But at least my anxiety levels were in check.

    I love my kids, so I continue to have them. But pregnancy and the postpartum periods are not kind to me.

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  6. Okay, I didn’t think the muscular things were worse the third time. No worse than the second time (and my middle child is 6.5 years younger than my oldest, so I’m in the same boat as you).

    The worst thing about the second time around was I had someone else to take care of. Which meant I couldn’t take spontaneous naps or go to bed at 5. The Princess expected Mom time and food and baths and clean clothes and stuff.

    I will say my third pregnancy was by far my hardest. Not from a puking standpoint (the middle child was the worst) but everything else.

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  8. The good thing about all the pain is that the tiny baby being placed in your arms makes you forget it all! I am excited for your baby gender details!!

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  11. I’m so sorry you feel so yucky. I wish I had words, but I don’t. Just know I’m rootin’ for you and Mozzi and for things to be healthy and good and less barfariffic 🙂

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  13. Just keep thinking how you had forgotten about all this bad stuff. Once Mozzi shows up… you’ll forget about it all over again.

    Until then… ugh. So sorry you’re suffering.

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  14. for what it’s worth to ya, next time you come over, I’ll show you my stomach. So many deep stretch marks it will make you scream and shield your eyes.

    What us women do for a family. But it’s totally, 100% worth it.

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  20. You’re so pretty anyway, but I know I would be heartbroken with petichiae like that too. But just think how wonderous it’ll be to have pretty ivory skin once that clears up and you can be a glowing new mom!

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  21. Yes, that is one beautiful neck. As I’m looking at my now 12 week old peanut, I’m also thinking about how hard it is to manage the 2nd time around. I’m better at the heartburn but worse at taking care of myself. Mine will be 3 years apart and I don’t think my first born is going to like it one bit!
    Good luck to you

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  23. The second time is an amazing pregnancy. You know what to expect, what’s worth worrying about, and what you need to relish and cherish.

    You’re beautiful. Some people wear their heart on their sleeves. Not everyone gets to wear their joy on their face.

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  24. This made me cry, mama. The second time around is infinitely different, right? I also find myself ridiculously more excited to hold my baby this time. No clue as to why, maybe because there’s over 4 years in between them. Or maybe because I so desperately longed for this little man…like you. Well, you didn’t long for MY bean, but you get me.

    You look beautiful, and glowing, and I can’t tell you how lovely. Because you’re having a BABY, Casey. xoxoxo

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  25. true. 2nd time is an ass.

    but 24 weeks isn’t 40!

    and when the come out it’s all giggles anyway with the 2nd. something’s different. it’s a lot more pleasant.

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  27. You know what you are?

    You’re gorgeous. It’s mushy and lame and sounds Hallmarky as crap, but you are. Our little imperfections, the stuff on our skins and bodies that don’t look so hot, generally wind up there out of a deep, deep love of something, and I think that’s beautiful.

    I have a scar on my knee from slamming into a creekbank when I was on the rope swing at age nine. I LOVED the rope swing. I was boss. Not that it’s even in the same ballpark as your capillaries, or the love that they demonstrate. Anyway. It’s just as the function as a tattoo of how devoted and awesome you are.

    Be well, mama.

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  28. So if your capillaries are worse, does that mean the HG is worse? Somehow I had the impression that the Zofran was helping…

    My first pregnancy was my worst so far, sickest and painfulest (totally a word). But since I’ll be over 40 by the time I get PG next time (#4, I hope), I have a feeling that the last might end up being the worst just for the age factor. We shall see…

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    1. @Chrysta, No, it just never went away from Addie and I have only added more this time around. Maybe if I get pregnant one more time my whole face will just turn red and one one will know…

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  29. Awwww!

    I have been reading awhile, but this is the first time I am posting.

    I have an almost 12 year difference between #2 and #3. I think it is having the gap more than how many…and that is coming from someone who 1. does not do pregnancy well and 2. someone who suffered primary AND secondary infertility, with a very nice surprise baby in between (my oldest and my middle are 19 months apart).

    The hardest part for me right now is balancing impending periods and diapers. Everyone needs something completely different, there is only one me, and that me hasn’t slept through the night in a year and a half.

    I am not making it better..I just realized. Sorry.

    Hang in there, Casey…no matter how tired I get, I live every day in awe of this little girl who I tried for three years to have…she is worth all of it…and yours will be, too.

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  31. When I was pregnant the second time, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to spend enough time with my oldest child, and I worried about how on earth I was going to handle taking care of two kids. I thought it would be almost impossible. I was half right. I still enjoy spending quality time one on one with my boys.
    Things I found easier – my worry about every little thing dimished, I was more confident, more sure of myself as a mother.
    You are going to be so terrific. It’s going to be the very best day, holding your new baby in your arms. And when you see your older daughter kiss your baby for the first time, you will melt. And you’ll remember that moment forever. xoxo

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  33. I get those red spots from puking too… Or crying too hard…

    I like the idea of it being like wearing your heart on your face rather than your sleeve.

    My pregnancy was easy at the beginning until the last month or 6 weeks when it got hard as hell, so maybe yours will do the opposite. Hang in there; it’s all worth it.

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  34. You are still under there…and still every bit as beautiful. Those that know you, know that 🙂

    My first 2 were seven years apart…and surprisingly my second wasn’t much different…it was my 3rd which was only 4 months after my first that about killed me in the pain. It can be horrible and there’s no way I could have done Just Dance 2 while preggers with the little one…so I have to give you a big dose of admiration for managing – even if you do waddle a couple hours later. I would have gone into early labor if I tried to play that sucker! *lol*

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  35. (Cyber hug)
    Casey, you’re a gem. Best of luck with everything. Hang in there. Being male, I have no clue what you are going through but I can see your struggle and how well your handling things. You’ve really helped me when I needed it. (You probably don’t remember, it was one small email from a post but it meant a lot)

    Hang in there. You’re a gem..
    BTW, what happened in the frozen food section eight weeks ago…?

    Anyway, Hang in there.
    Take care,
    Tony

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  36. I am so sorry this is so hard on you. For me my second was actually easier than the first, but the third kicked my ass so hard that every time I imagine holding my own little baby again, I remember why I’m all done.

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  37. The other thing they forget to warn you about is the after-pains are awful the second time. I didn’t feel them with my first. I thought I was dying with my second. Was writhing around in my bed in the recovery room. Thought it was the end for me.

    Nursing brings them on, but they only last a couple of days.

    Heh. Only.

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  40. If it makes you feel any better, I have a weird, red, itchy rash on my chin. I keep thinking, MY FACE! MY FACE! (Important note: I’m not pregnant.) We’re still gorgeous, though.

    I am sososo happy for you. I don’t think anyone is supposed to rock at pregnancy. I also think you’re supposed to have mixed feelings about how long it lasts. Enjoy it, and look forward to your tiny baby.

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