do not sniff the bovine caps.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted inToo lazy to label.

Internets, I have a secret.

I’m working my way through a possible food allergy.

The culprit? Perhaps gluten, perhaps a wheat allergy. Maybe it’s adrenal fatigue. It could also be cancer, or a third world parasite.

Regardless, if you know me at all, being allergic to the main things involved in baking chocolate cake is pretty much like telling a dolphin “Sorry dude, but you’re totally allergic to water.”

Tonight I made dinner that had finely chopped cauliflower as a stand in for rice. Not only did I feed it to the people related to me, I fed it to guests.

Oof.

What a bad time to come eat at Casey’s house, when she’s working through a possible gluten allergy. Kind of like going to Olive Garden and having them say “WHOOPS! SORRY! NO NOODLES! May I interest you in some garlic with a side of garlic?”

It’s probably just as bad as going to Olive Garden expecting olives and being very disappointed.

People come to eat at my house with a twinkle in their eye and stretchy pants on.

Imagine their disappointment when I serve them vegetables posing as rice, mixed with vegetables. And no dessert.

But I have had a rash. A horrible awful no good very bad rash. That burns and itches and welts and travels and is fairly unnerving. Thankfully my very lovely Jessica has recently suffered a very similar welted nightmare and told me everything she tried, everything that worked and more importantly everything that didn’t work.

I joked with her that God must like us most since we’re all Job like with our nasty rashes and vomitous pregnancies.

We also may have blamed our rashes on reality television.

She has come to the conclusion that diet and adrenal fatigue are most likely to blame which has led her to omitting anything fake from her diet, telling gluten to take a hike and taking enough supplements to restart a whale shark’s adrenal glands. (Do whale sharks have adrenal glands? Grant?)

Anyway, I turned to a local raw food healer whom I met through twitter and she talked me through an adrenal jump start.

(May I just say I love how the Internet has brought people to me so that I don’t have to suffer in puffy hives alone?)

Today I picked up my adrenal support capsules she recommended.

They are made from cow adrenal glands. And for some reason (taste? I think?) they add cloves and ginger to the cow parts in the capsule.

I loathe ginger (thanks pregnancy!)

I despise cloves (clove cigarettes, I was once young and stupid and impressionable.)

So dehydrated powdered cow parts, cloves and ginger.

If a 98 year old woman hadn’t stopped me in the health food store and commended me for not giving into the man and believing the lie that FDA has my best interests at heart, I would have left the cow caps there.

Three days gluten free. I’m really an awkward kind of hungry. I know I’ve eaten plenty, but there’s all these empty cracks waiting for chocolate cake and noodles. Carbs give you a very deliciously full feeling. For me, looking at gluten free recipes is probably similar to people reading their credit card statements, depressing, but it has to be done.

Cake porn

We’ve never been really crappy eaters. The treats we eat are almost always made from scratch by me. But we’re no perfectionists either. This isn’t a really dramatic change, just a sort of depressing one.

The cow caps begin tomorrow morning.

Forgive me if I moo.

110 thoughts on “do not sniff the bovine caps.”

  1. I’m currently diagnosing a new food allergy myself. All signs point to dairy. It’s enough to make me cry. Think about everything that has dairy. OMG THE HUMANITY.

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  2. I have adrenal issues and can’t take steroids; an actual MD had me try a supplement that…well it’s not made of the nicest-sounding things ever but he tracked my response with bloodwork and it WORKS. Makes me feel like a new woman. E-mail or DM me if you want the info and I’m sorry to hear about the Job-ness of it all 😦

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  4. Ugggg, that sounds horrible! The only worse than a gluten allergy for me would to also have a cheese allergy. Or maybe there’s gluten in cheese… I wouldn’t know. Anyway, I hope you find some relief, and fast. And I hope that you can return to your gluten-rich days of baking.

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      1. @Casey, This might sound nasty, but I sometimes enjoy just toasting up some tuna in a pan with a little salt. Although that is zero helpful if you’ve already had your weekly tuna.

        May I suggest high-fructose-corn-syrup-free vanilla yogurt? That’s probably the other half of my diet.

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  6. My husband thinks he has a gluten allergy. He doesn’t care. He still eats it only to be whiny the whole next day. But then again he’s never had a rash with it.

    Poor Casey. The world will search for gluten free chocolate cake for you.

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  7. I feel your pain. I’m allergic to corn, egg whites, bananas, and… chocolate. Admittedly, the chocolate is a minor allergy (my hands swell), so I cheat sometimes. But the corn makes my blood pressure drop and my throat swell, so I can’t have any corn, and if I do, I feel it. So I can’t have any soda, no powdered sugar, no cake…

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    1. @MzHartz, OOF. I have things I can make you though! And please say you don’t live in the Midwest, with a corn allergy you’d pass out dead outside my front door. (CORN! CORN EVERYWHERE FOR MILES!)

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      1. @Casey, I live in Bloomington, IN. I used to live in Northern Indiana by the Ethanol plant, go figure.

        Did you know there’s corn syrup in saltines? Corn is in everything!

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      2. @MzHartz, My sister is a HFCS crazy lady (She’s slightly crunchy.) For personal reasons. She makes sure I’m well aware of what it’s in and what it’s not.

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  8. I went to the doctor several years ago for some tummy issues. They started with bloodwork and he called me back to say that there was a slight gluten intolerance showing up and that they would like to follow up. In the mean time, he suggested that I Google gluten-free diets and start making some adjustments. I deleted the message and never went back to that doctor.

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  9. Hope you feel better soon — life is not over if you can’t have gluten — you are an amazing baker — you will rise to the challenge of baking gluten free — chickpea chocolate cake (it is actually quite good) here you come. There are so many options out there now for baking with alternative grains. Remember you can totally handle this —

    K

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  10. Oh no! That rash sounds awful! I hope your plan works and makes you feel better! We did a 4-month gluten-free trial in 2008. It went pretty well and I ended up finding a TON of really tasty gluten-free products we loved. Also, I have a To. Die. For. gluten-free chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipe. Even gluten eaters love this cookie! Would be happy to share anytime! 🙂

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  11. Meijer has a fairly sizable gluten free section at the end of the baking aisle…including some cookie and cake mixes. 😉

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      1. @Casey, You never know until you give them a try! I personally have not tried them, but a lot of them are the organic “Whole Foods”ish brands so they are probably better than total deprivation. 🙂

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  12. Ok, maybe it’s just me, but I laughed so hard at your descriptions of all of this. Maybe it’s my mood, or maybe it’s because in my head I think I “know” you well enough to say that you’re trying to get a laugh so it doesn’t seem quite so devestating…

    Either way, I’m so sorry about your rash, and even more sorry that you can’t enjoy every last bite of that chocolate cake!

    However, the califlower as a rice substitute doesn’t sound half bad. And regardless, I’m sure it was delicious and everyone probably enjoyed it more than they would ever admit to 😉

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  14. I recently did a review of a children’s book by Tina Turbin – I mention this because one of things she’s involved in is celiac disease and gluten-free lifestyle. Her website on the subject is http://www.glutenfreehelp.info/.

    I have a friend who is allergic to chocolate – of all kinds. Even white chocolate. I don’t know how I could stand that.

    I hope that you find out what the problem is quickly and it’s an easy fix.

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    1. @CaySedai, My grandma is allergic to chocolate, I figure since Addie is named after her it’s Addie’s life goal to make up for my grandma’s chocolate consumption before she’s 16.
      Thanks for the resource!

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  15. I feel your pain on the gluten free part. Quinoa is a great fill in that you can get gluten free. And if you have a Whole Foods near you, they clearly mark all foods that are certified gluten free with a big tag. (Expensive, yes, but a sanity-saver if you’re looking at gluten free as a long term proposition.)

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  16. Oh my dear cuzzie! That sucks! No other way to say it!

    My mom-in-law has celiac (sp?) disease. No wheat no gluten. She eats frosting no cake. Lots of frosting.

    I think your body is just playing some sick joke on ya! You’ll be back to inhaling flour from all that baking before you know it! And I’ll be having a talk with God and letting him know how dark this world will be without your famous layers upon layers chocolate cake!

    Hope I see your hottness in May! Love you!

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  17. I totally understand. I got the news of my gluten-intolerance last fall. And surprisingly, I’ve been happily GF for several months.

    I’m not totally healthy though. I eat white rice, cornmeal, sugar, and other “refined” stuff that your raw foods adviser would not recommend.

    Best of luck on your quest for good health. If you need GF recipes that are not seriously healthy then email me. 😉

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  18. Ugh, Casey, that sucks.

    I’m allergic to eggs, which has required years of trials and epic failures to really get control of and even as recently as this week I’ve been in allergic reaction hell.

    So while I can have some cake (yay), I absolutely cannot lick cake beaters or eat raw cookie dough. I can’t eat angel food cake or meringues or pies with egg bases. Or a lot of salad dressings. Or mayo. Or chocolate mousse. And I can’t ever get flu shots, which is good because my health is always so awesome to begin with.

    I’m not going to pretend like it doesn’t suck, because it does. But you’ll absolutely get used to it (if it does end up being an allergy, which a quick and easy allergy test can tell you for sure).

    Life is all about making these kind of alterations and shifting stuff to make it work. You’ll make it work, and be delicious, I’m sure.

    But if I ever come over for dinner, please don’t feed me cauliflower.

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    1. @Overflowing Brain (Katie), Deal. I’ll save the groats for you. (Yeah, I said it, GROATS.)
      I dealt with nine months of not being able to eat anything and being on the constant verge of barfing and I did get used to it…
      I also became very thin…
      silver lining?
      I’m about to take my cow caps, in honor of your eggless existence.

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  19. I know it’s no consolation, but my daughter is allergic to dairy and wheat and so…we live this life. There really are lots of great things to eat, as I’m sure many will profess. I even found doughnuts and excellent cookies! And, anyway, my crazy kid doesn’t like chocolate. Luckily, we eat eggs and meat, so this helps. Let me know if you need any advice. We are happy to live in a very vegan/allergy friendly place, so this helps. All the best! It’ll be interesting and exciting to see what you come up with! (And, really, rice spaghetti can be great!)

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    1. @Sara, That has to be hard as a parent, it’s one thing to deal with it yourself, it’s another to help a little person through it.
      Sadly Indiana may be one of the least vegan/allergy friendly states in the union. But as soon as spring comes with all those farmer’s markets?
      IT IS SO ON.

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  20. I hope that you feel better soon! I have a family full of food allergies too. Everything from Milk (me and hubs) Eggs (just me) and Peanuts (my Dylan). I think veggies are the only thing safe on the menu for everyone to eat, and they don’t like them 😉

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  21. My son, who’s nursing, appears to have some significant allergies too. Which means I have to adjust MY diet. No dairy, soy, wheat or eggs.

    The organic stores have a pretty good selection of gluten-free products (even ice cream), and many of them even taste good. I have been amazed.

    I feel for you, and hope it helps. I at least see an end in sight to my diet restrictions.

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  22. First–I’m sorry to hear about your food allergy, I’ll try to find some Not Called Gluten Free but Gluten Free recipes for you.

    Second–I’m having a bunch of J’s Army buddies over tonight and I was going to make brownies. Simple, quick brownies for the whisky-drinkin’ party. but no. You HAD to post the chocolate cake with the frosting that looks exactly like MY frosting for MY chocolate cake and now I have to make it. Because now I’m craving it. And that was just not cool. Just not cool at all. Especially since the recipe has caffeine in it (because I’m too lazy to go to the store to buy decaf instant coffee) and I can’t have caffeine so I will have a migraine. Jerk. Hehe. I love you.

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      1. Elana avoids all grains. She has MS and follows a very strict diet. That’s why she avoids rice as well as gluten products.

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  26. I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in Nov 08, just before my birthday. No cake for me that year.
    BUT NOW Betty Crocker has an amazing GF Devil’s Food cake mix that is SUPER DUPER. Their frosting is labeled GF too.
    I’ve been searching for good GF too, so email me if you want some tips. 🙂

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  27. Oh, it is so sad but you’ve made it so funny. I asked Grant if whale sharks have adrenal glands and he said no. but only because he doesn’t know what adrenal glads are. He did want me to tell you that seals snort water out of their noses and beluga whales can swim backward.

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  29. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

    I thought I would simply die of starvation if I had a gluten allergy. There are very few vegetables that I like. Cauliflower, in particular, makes me vomit, in the absolutely literally true and not hyperbolic kind of way.

    Now I feel a little better from the folks above – corn bread, at least, is yum?

    Someone else had a good point: did they give you a real allergy test yet, or are you waiting on the results of your elimination diet?

    That is really, really, REALLY horrible and I hope you don’t slap me for being as horrified here as I have been on some of the more-important-to-you issues. But gluten allergy would devastate me. I’m hoping it’s something else.

    xoxox

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  30. Hope you get some answers. I recently had a test to check my adrenal system. It came back normal (yeah) but then the doc still cannot find a solution of my chronic fatigue and low blood pressure (boo).

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  31. I hear ya on the crying part. My husband is doing a gluten free trial right now and of course since I’m the wife, I want to be supportive and cook only gluten free, especially since it is genetic and if he has it chances are one of our three kids will have it too. Last week we celebrated my sons 3rd birthday with gluten free pizza and Betty Crocker’s gluten free devil’s food cake. DELICIOUS! No kidding and the rest of the family would not have had a clue had I not told them later that it was all GF. Though I admit, I cried over this as what I use to think was hard, cooking, now seems like a joke. I wish I could go back, but if he feels better, he feels better and that’s all that matters. Really though, in the short few weeks we’ve been doing this I am amazed by the ease of transition and I do feel healthier for it! Hang in there and mourn the loss of your favorite foods, but keep inspired because you will probably find new favorites!!!

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  32. I was diagnosed with celiac disease in October and have been gluten free since then. There are decent pastas and flours out there! Some days I want to cry about everything I can’t have. But there are ways to get around gluten and make nearly everything I miss. Good luck!

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  33. My gluten-filled diet weeps for you. Although I would probably do well to cut back on gluten and a few others things (like, food. in general.) because I have not been able to exercise for two weeks due to a cracked rib. My gut is greeting people ahead of me. I feel for you with food limits, but at least you’re doing something about it, not just enduring poor health so you can have your cake fix. Good luck on those cow caps, eh?

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  34. I’ve been gluten free since November. It is hard, but it is not completely terrible. You just have to get a lot of different flours and a good scale for measuring those flours. Have you checked out Gluten Free Girl and Gluten Free Goddess? Two fabulous blogs I would highly recommend to you.
    I hope you find the answer to your rashiness soon.

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  35. Not sure if anyone else has said this but rice doesn’t have gluten in it. You can eat all the rice you want!! And so many Asian restaurants serve rice noodles so YAY!! I have a gluten allergy so I stay away from it as much as I can and my mom made me a delicious gluten free birthday cake recently!! So don’t despair, there really is yummy gluten free fare out there! 🙂

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  36. I have had stomach problems for a few years now and so has my sister – she just started a gluten free diet a month or so ago and said all of her problems are GONE…meaning mine probably would be too if I can convince myself to stop eating gluten.

    I am with you – how do I live without chocolate cake, pasta, bread, cereal… the list goes on. It’s depressing to think about.

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  38. And now that link didn’t fully work anyway. I’m having one of those days.

    Anyway… if you go on facebook and search “living life without” her page should come up.

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  39. Gluten free…yes I have been for 12 months now. After a lot of trying to figure out for about 18 months: why I was always exhausted (sleeping an extra 3 hours after the kids left for school on my days off and still being tired); pain every month when I never had pain before; finally feeling sick no matter what I ate. After an ultra-sound, blood tests (no celiac), and top and bottom check (involving me being unconscious and pipes and cameras), I finally told my doc that I was giving up gluten as no matter what I ate I felt awful. He said that if that was the problem I would know in 2 weeks. After two weeks of no gluten, I couldn’t believe how much better I felt. I just try to cook unprocessed foods more and buy GF when I can. The food I miss the most? Cinnamon doughnuts – but toasted GF bread with butter and sugar and cinnamon makes a great substitute.

    Just a side note – my son was complaining of a sore stomach regularly so we took him of gluten too, and told him if he ate any he would pay the price. After about 4 months he went into hosp and had his appendix out and is FINE. And can eat anything.

    Hope you find the cause of your rash soon, very soon. And can get back into yummy foods – even if it means adapting recipes.
    😀

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  41. You can get a simple blood test done to determine if you have celiac. That way you don’t have to live GF unnecessarily. Unless, you’ve had the blood test and it came back negative and you still feel like crap like michelle a few comments ago. But if you haven’t had blood work do that first!

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    1. @Laura, I doubt it’s Celiac. I think it’s closer to wheat sensitivity, I feel better with just eating differently and one day I may ask a doctor.

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  42. I have the greatest respect for people with gluten and/or dairy allergies. My heart goes out to you as you find new foods and new ways to prepare your favorites. And mostly, I hope you feel better!

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  43. I so feel for you! My allergist put me on an elimination diet… no wheat, egg, milk, yeast, tomato, potato, rice, corn or soy… four weeks of GF oatmeal (Bob’s Red Mill is a great brand), green veggies and meats. I definitely did the freak-out. Now I can have all of those things back again on a 4 day rotation. At least the weight loss and energy gain was a huge bonus – I’ve spent a small fortune replacing my wardrobe.

    The good news is that so many restaurants (including Olive Garden!) have gluten free menus now. Our favorite pasta at home is a Quinoa pasta I found on Amazon (Ancient Harvest).

    Hang in there!

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    1. @Jesica, I’m glad it’s becoming more recognized and people are becoming hip to it. I’d rather just come with instructions, and a personal chef, you know?

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  44. oh Casey. I ACHE for you, seriously. What a crappy crappy thing to have to deal with! My wish is that you’ll figure out the problem and somehow magically be able to eat what you want again. GAH! No fun.

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  45. Hey, my sister tries to keep it gluten free, and here is an awesome cookie recipe that tastes just like those peanut butter cookies that you criss-cross a fork on top of…

    1 cup of sugar
    1 cup of peanut butter
    1 egg

    That’s it! I swear, they’re almost the same.

    Also, Whole Foods’ website has recipes, and pretty much every single recipe I have tried there is awesome. A couple of gluten-free options there that I have tried: black bean/sweet potato enchiladas with verde sauce and the chickpea lentil stew (made in the crock pot).

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  47. we went to a specialist in Canada here, and we found out that my hubbys bi-polar, depression problems all root back to be has a gluten allergy and a few other things, its quite interesting what it does to your brain, if you want more info (because i have now had to learn about it) let me know

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  48. Oh, ick. The bovine caps remind me of the mega 3 fish oil capsules I took for a while before they were tiny and didn’t taste like fish. Nothing is better than burping fish when you haven’t done anything but take your vitamins.

    Oh dear. Was that too much information for a first comment? So sorry. Good luck gluten free…

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  49. So, we just had a gluten-free friend get a job offer elsewhere and leave town.

    A little bit of me is secretly hoping that this is a cosmic case of conversation of celiac. That way, our recent efforts to collect gluten-free ingredients, recipes and ninjitsu moves has new purpose.

    I mean, I hope you get better. 😀

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  50. wow, that cake looks really good! i can see why folks come to dinner at your house wearing stretchy pants! good luck on the gluten-free journey. hopefully you will be rash-free soon.

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