I made my first turkey and there is an entire (painfully detailed) Wiki page dedicated to Perry the Platypus.
So our Christmas this year involved a turkey and a platypus.
I never did get to make a turkey for Thanksgiving, you know, living in a hotel and all. But for Christmas? GOBBLE. So here you go. How someone who has never cooked a turkey cooks a turkey after going to turkey school and learning every possible thing there is to know about turkey.
Except. Here’s the thing. I panicked. I had to call the Turkey Talk Line. (And I wasn’t even paid to, nor am I being paid to write this post (SUCK IT FTC.))
My fancy thermometer said the thigh meat was done. It also said the breast meat was done. But the cavity was filled with nasty looking stuff (like turkey blood, which, ew. (Also? I don’t stuff turkeys, something about cooking something in the butt of something…)) BUT! According to the turkey talk line all was well. I was done! I DID IT!
And it was delicious.
But what I did learn at turkey school? Get the turkey up off the bottom of the pan. Don’t have a fancy rack? IMPROVISE!
And like I said before. Use a darn thermometer. Okay?
After doing the “I cooked my first turkey and didn’t screw it up” victory dance I turned the oven off.
It was only three o clock.
When your kid wakes you up at 5 am on Christmas morning the day goes by verrry slowly.
ENTER TURKEY SCHOOL!
I wrapped that turkey up in foil, wrapped the foil wrapped turkey in towels and kept that turkey food safe toasty for two hours. (Or you know, until the rest of dinner caught up with the turkey.)
So there. I’m done gloating about the turkey success.
Wait, just kidding. THE GRAVY FROM THE TURKEY DRIPPINGS? BEST. GRAVY. EVER.
Okay. Now I’m done.
Did I mention Perry?
Or how my kid insists in dressing up in everything brightly colored from her closet to go out?
I don’t post videos very often, but this is her. Opening what she asked for from grandpa Santa for Christmas. I can’t decide which is my favorite. When she kisses it, calls it “My Little Pony Get Your Hair Done Spa Day”, thanks Santa profusely at the very end or squeals one of four different times. (Don’t forget the total Utah “OH MY GOSH” at the very beginning.)
It was a good Christmas, in my house. With my family. Very cheery indeed.
You?
making unbreakable - formerly moosh in indy. 
That movie is so adorable!
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I love it. Great turkey tips, although I’m thinking of going vegetarian again after new years… We’ll see. I spy some babywearing!
Steph
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@Adventures In Babywearing, It’s actually poodle wearing. Heh.
I’ll bet I could make a wicket tofurkey.
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Soooo cute! Your daughter and my 6yo have similar fashion sensibilities which makes for some interesting, but very cool, outfits!
I have never cooked a turkey but when I do a whole chicken I always have to tip the blood out of the cavity b/c it freaks me out. Like, “ahhhhh this was once alive!!!”
And love Perry too. Best show for kids.
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@Fairly Odd Mother, Oh there you are Perry!
(I think Cody and I like it better than her. Family bonding, you know?)
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Do her jammies come in my size?!
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@Magda, They would never look that awesome on us. Sad really.
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I totally called the turkey hotline today because of your posts. We were having a family argument. My mom started the turkey and left us to finish it. I took its temperature – screaming at 200. But my mom had said it would cook for 2 more hours. My sister wanted to split the difference, but I suggested the turkey hotline. They were very kind and did not laugh at our ignorance or family dispute. Which is always lovely on a holiday!
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This Christmas will always be unforgettable because of all of the Perry the Platypus antics. (Hey, where’s Perry? Oh there you are Perry!) And lets not forget the lack of constant bickering and no one telling someone else to go to hell.
Best. Christmas. Ever.
Thanks for opening your home to me and always being so thoughtful. Love you!
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Christmas was great… but two says on the parents have really outstayed their welcome. I wonder if there’s any sort of SOS hotline in Australia? Too hot for a turkey of course.
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Oh my gosh, she’s precious!
My Christmas was good! Niece and Nephew had similar freak outs over presents from my parents. My niece got a whoop-si-do Baby Alive. She kept saying, “Maw Maw you said you weren’t getting me this!”
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The Moosh already has a killer sense of fashion. I’m jealous.
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Oh, and about getting the turkey off the bottom of the pan? I learned a trick a few years ago from Martha Stewart: slice some onions into wedges and place them on the bottom of the pan. It works like a charm.
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we had a barbie christmas over here. I think with our barbies and your ponies, it could make for a pretty sweet playdate.
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– i have never cooked a turkey and i am scared to
– we love perry here in the house
– precious video of that moosh !!
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We’re big Perry fans around here, too. One of Dean’s nickname’s is actually Doofenschmirtz…
Congrats on your turkey!
The moosh video is priceless. She’s such a cutie pie. Glad you had a good Christmas!
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So cute! And congrats on the turkey. I’ve been married almost 20 years and I have yet to make a full turkey!
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Glad you had a good holiday!
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What is the reason for keeping the turkey off the bottom of the pan? So it doesn’t stick? Does it cook better in general? I usually cook my in a bag, so am out of the loop as far as other techniques go.
Moosh=adorable!
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So cute! It’s always nice when the BIG guy brings you what you asked for. 🙂
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Moosh is adorable. LOVE her colorful going-out outfit. And congrats on a turkey well done! Or done just right?!
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Personally, my favorite part is when my girls beg me to play the video again and again because THEY want a “pony get your hair done spa day” and why didn’t you get that for us, mom?! Whaaaa!
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Hey Ferb, where’s Perry?
We love Phineas and Ferb (and Perry, and Candace, and, and Jeremy, and Isabella….)
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Oh… and the turkey looks fabulous. I’m impressed… cooking turkey scares me.
And, Ana has footy pjs that match Moosh.
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If I ever come visit, you’re gonna have to hide that Perry. Love the cartoon, but that stuffed animal freaks me out a good bit.
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That’s the cutest video. I swear she grew up overnight. It seems like just yesterday I was killing myself laughing watching the video of her singing her ABCs at the fridge.
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That video is adorable. Happy Christmas, Casey. 🙂
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Yeah, the spirit of that video was definitely in my house Christmas morning. We had a wonderful time this weekend, just the four of us. No invaders from the south or the east (boo…but also with a sigh of relief) kept us focused on just the four of us, with a few excursions to see local friends. We had lots of snow, but when it’s December, it’s happy, snow globe snow. 🙂
It was a lovely Christmas indeed.
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My 4 3/4 year old also was pony crazy this year. It’s the only thing she wanted from Santa- “ponies I can dress up.” She got that pony spa set from grandparents, cheerleader ponies from Santa and a few “normal” sized little ponies from other relatives. It’s pink and purple and pony crazy in our house!
Your turkey is beautiful!
We’re fans of Perry, too. But I have to admit to a soft spot for Doofenschmirtz…
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Hooray for turkey!
My Christmas was pretty good, aside from one little part. (Ah, family togetherness…) My favorite part was Christmas Eve, with my dad’s side of the family and my boyfriend Mike.
I’m glad that you were able to enjoy Christmas in your beautiful new house with your family. Hopefully you will enjoy many years more in that house!
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It wasn’t the squeal..it was kind of that guttural “oooh” that I loved the most. There is nothing better than seeing that delight on your kid’s face. It’s one of my aboslute favorite parts of Christmas!
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Ooo, I kinda miss having little kids around. They’re so fun when opening presents – don’t tell my mom she’ll think I’m planning on giving her grandkids soon.
My Christmas was good. Current boy liked what he got and he actually paid attention when we shopped the last couple months and bought me things that I’d picked up and fondled in Lush and Best Buy.
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That was sooo cute! I actually watched it twice. My kids are getting older so even though they were very happy with their gifts, it’s not quite the same as when they are little kids and Santa brings them EXACTLY what they asked for.
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IS that Perry from Phineas and Ferb? Wow.
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Perry arrived at our house this Christmas as well, with Phinneas and Ferb. This place will never be the same…
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There were a lot of funny things coming from my daughter this Christmas… she’s 3 1/2 so she rips open things and says “OH a box!! Just what I always wanted!” literally…
then after opening all her presents from Santa she goes to me “um Mom” (yes she is calling me mom right now) “is that it?”
I feel like saying “would you like to take a look at my bank account?” alas…
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That girl is just too cute. I love her curls! If I’d known there was a turkey hotline I could’ve saved my sister plenty of angst this year.
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