***this is the post that is going to be known as corngate ’09. this post is for THOSE people. who burn boiling water. who have to call their sisters to find out how to make canned tomato soup. who think frozen waffles are fine dining. true corn lovers know that grilling is the best way to cook corn. But I feel this post is needed, because THOSE people? Should never know corn can be cooked by an open flame. I’m only trying to save the innocent ears.****
It has come to my attention Internets (serious eyes) that the Fourth of July is coming up and a lot of you don’t know how to properly cook corn on the cob.
THIS IS NOT OKAY AMERICA.
(To the rest of the world, bear with me, I’m about to set America straight.)
As a Midwesterner I feel it my duty to know how to prepare corn. Just as it is a Texans duty to know how to prepare brisket or a New Englanders duty to know the proper care and preparation of chowder. After spending a year learning how to choose and prepare corn and a year to practice I feel safe in saying I. HAVE. IT. DOWN.
First? Quit husking your corn at the grocery store. QUIT IT. While you’re at it, DON’T EVEN OPEN IT. Just feel it. It should be heavy for its size and firm. (I know, BUT WHAT ABOUT BUGS? Corn begins losing its tasty tasty sugars as soon as the kernels are exposed to air, so buy a couple of extra ears and deal with the possibility of bugs. In three years? I’ve had maybe three bugged ears and they were all redeemable. It’s called a knife.)
(Also? Don’t buy corn out of season. Part of your carbon footprint involves eating what’s in season where and when it’s in season. If possible keep your eye on the corn bins during peak corn season, when they refill the stock? BEST PICKINGS EVER.)
Okay.
Now you have your corn. While your boiling a huge pot of salted water husk your corn and rinse it off. (I’m not OCD about the silks, you shouldn’t be either.)
As soon as the water is boiling add the corn.
Let the water return to a boil, put a tight fitting lid over the top, remove it from heat (turn it off please, I know there are those people out there) and set a timer for five minutes.
After five minutes take out your first serving, leaving the rest in for up to 10 more minutes.
Butter (real butter please,) salt (kosher sea salt please) and enjoy.
Also this week in honor of America’s Birthday?
The proper way to make pie crust (cherry for us!) and the proper way to make baked beans.
You’re welcome founding fathers. Really.
****
What are you obligated by geographic location to know how to make?
making unbreakable - formerly moosh in indy. 
When bringing to someone elses house I like to wrap individually in plastic wrap and nuke it for 4 minutes or so then leave it wrapped up until it’s served. The wrap holds the heat in while you travel to the block party of where ever.
LikeLike
@Melizzard, If I’m making corn those fools better come to ME. (That or you’re a nicer person to share than me.)
LikeLike
Oh dear goodness … that looks like the best corn ever!
As someone who has never bought corn (my mommy does the grocery shopping) but in the very near future will be moving out of the house, I appreciate the tips!
LikeLike
@Kimmy, I WILL EASE YOUR TRANSITION. Corn first, the world second.
LikeLike
Here in Southern Utah/NW Arizona/Nevada(I know I live in a WEIRD place) it’s dutch oven potatoes… just thinking about my hubby’s makes me hungry!
However the 4th of July requires me to eat a hot dog/hamburger and doritos (uesd to be my favorite chip ever but have been on dorito strike since March or so we’ll see what this weekend brings) and lots of pickles and olives… I love pickles!
LikeLike
@Erika, You live in St. George? Dutch oven potatoes, nom nom. Cody’s family always adds too much pepper. Ticks me off.
LikeLike
@Casey, Well not in St. George… about 30 minutes away in a little town called Beaver Dam AZ…But the grand canyon is kinda in the way 😉
LikeLike
I’m sorry but I am going to have to disagree w/ you here Casey. Corn on the cob should be grilled. Especially during the warm summer months, there is nothing better. Try it, you can thank me later.
LikeLike
@Lindy, Second that, grilled corn is the best this time of year! But thanks for sharing the ‘in-house’ version! It does look like you have it down. YUMMMMM
LikeLike
@Lindy, I’m agree on the grilling. However people need to learn to walk before they can run, grilling takes skill (as you obviously know) and while every American SHOULD own a grill, not everyone does. Pity really.
LikeLike
Yes I bought corn our of season just one time and it was GROSS
LikeLike
@Vanessa, TOLD YOU SO (too late…heh.)
LikeLike
I love the Le Creuset!
LikeLike
@Marty, Just for you dahling.
LikeLike
I agree that corn on the cob should be barbecued. It’s AMAZING.
I’m obligated to make strawberry shortcake. And damn do I make good strawberry shortcake. And none of that sponge cake crap either. Bleh. Real shortcakes.
(As the family baker, I’m also obligated to make apple pie, chocolate cake with dark chocolate ganache and after last weekend, dark chocolate mousse. Yum)
LikeLike
@Overflowing Brain, see @Lindy’s reply.
Baby steps people, baby steps.
LikeLike
I learned something new–I never cover my pot!
LikeLike
@Meredith, The 16 year old inside of me is giggling hysterically.
LikeLike
I’m a Torontonian who has been transplanted to Alberta thus I have learned to grill one hell of a steak!
“If It Ain’t Alberta. It Ain’t Beef” is a phrase I was forced to learn quickly!
Although I also make a MEAN fruit pizza!
LikeLike
@LovingDanger, Ah yes, the skill of beef. Good skill to possess, glad those Western Canadians taught you well.
LikeLike
Pico de freaking gallo, and I make it with gusto.
But…I was one who requested this tutorial for corn, so I shouldn’t get too high-and-mighty. I’ve just never known. Thanks!
LikeLike
@Camille, Gusto? Sounds like you make it with a freaking gusto.
LikeLike
Green or Red chili.
Seriously…I think you know what it’s like out here in NM. I think they take a vote every year or something. lol
I make my corn by soaking it for at least half an hour. I taste a raw kernel first, if it’s not sweet, I add sugar to the water. So far so good.
LikeLike
@Sasha, Interesting corn theory there. *filing away*
And? I totally get the chili thing, she has learned the fine art of chilies. I’m so proud.
LikeLike
Try it the Mexican way – smeared with mayo, cotija cheese, chile and lime juice.
LikeLike
@Suebob, I live in Indiana. Years of farmers would roll over in their graves, I’m not ready to do that to them yet. (But can I come over to your house?)
LikeLike
@Casey, I live in Indiana and was scared of the mexican way (I call it queso corn, yeah, I’m totally county) until met my mexican bf. It is the BEST!! who knew mayo works on stuff other than bologna?
LikeLike
@Erin, I am aware that mayo makes artichokes better…BUT CORN?
Okay. I’ll try it.
LikeLike
we add milk and sugar to our water… always comes out sweet.
LikeLike
@heidi, Oh come on now, that’s just cheating. (Isn’t it? AM I A CORN PURIST?)
LikeLike
@Casey, It’s not just you, Casey. My husband’s family does the milk and sugar thing…it doesn’t work for me. That’s why I try to take over the corn preparation whenever possible. (oh, AND they let it sit too long)
LikeLike
@nicole, I KNEW IT. Maybe we’re uh, starchily blessed?
LikeLike
It’s pretty sad you had to educate Americans…that’s how we do it in Washington…
Happy 4th!
LikeLike
@Leslie, Phew. Washington gets it. (I’m looking at you CALIFORNIA.)
LikeLike
Based on my geography I am supposed to know how to make Jell-o into something “gourmet”, ya know, with shredded vegetables and cottage cheese in it. (I just threw up in my mouth a little.)
Based on my family history I am supposed to know how to make a perfect pie crust, strawberry ice-cream and chocolate eclairs…well, one of three ain’t COMPLETELY failing.
xox
LikeLike
@heidikins, So which one can you do? I do make a mean pie crust. But are you required to make a lard one? Because I’m not (thankfully.)
LikeLike
@Casey, I make the pie crust with butter flavored shortening. That’s as close to “lard” as I get. Next on the docket: strawberry ice-cream.
xox
LikeLike
@heidikins, Ooh, and I use butter. Nom nom butter.
LikeLike
I don’t know how wife makes it, but it’s not like this… Maybe I’ll surprise her this weekend and try it this way.
And, UGH, I hate the term “carbon footprint”. Yes, I care for the environment, I just hate that term.
Seriously though, I’m making that corn!
LikeLike
@Joe @ Irrational Dad, *ahem* so you can use the “r” word but can’t stand “carbon footprint?”
(I’M TOTALLY STAYING OUT OF THIS ONE FOR MY OWN GOOD.)
heh.
LikeLike
As a fellow Hoosier I have eaten corn at least 3 times in the past week. We used to make ours on the stove but we have started to grill it instead, and I really like it in the grill.
I don’t know what else I am obligated to make because I’m a hoosier… pork ribs straight from the hog? Yeah, I don’t know how.
LikeLike
@ClassyFabSarah, Okay corn grillers. We all need to agree that people need to learn not to butcher the poor corn first before we let them put it near an open flame.
(Agreed on the grilled corn…good Hoosier, you can stay.)
LikeLike
As a native Iowan, that corn is making me drool. Only three days between me and sweet corn!
I think you gave some excellent advice, but I have three other suggestions: 1. Drive out to the country and find a roadisde stand that sells corn or buy your corn from the farmer’s market. Its local and therefore better.
2. If you must go the grocery store route, the rule for corn buying is the whiter the sweeter. Avoid super bright yellow. That corn is for cows.
3. If you don’t like buying it, grill it in the husk. A-MA-ZING.
LikeLike
@Emily, See @Lindy’s and @Sarah’s reply about grilling. Also, farmer’s market yes. BABY STEPS.
LikeLike
I’ll come back for the pie crust. Corn on the cob is GROSS!
And yes, I was in fact born right here on good ole’ U.S. of A. soil.
LikeLike
@bo, Fail. *shaking my head* You are the only person in existence to ever say they don’t like corn on the cob. I’m almost sure of it. (It’s cool, I don’t like marshmallows. It’s in the Mormon bylaws that you eat breath and live for marshmallows.)
LikeLike
Oh Sweet Corn, how I love thee! I grew up on a farm, so summers for us were FILLED with sweet corn. And by filled, I mean dinners where meat was the side dish, where my sisters and I more than once battled to see who could eat the most ears (I tied with one of them for 13 before our stomachs burst). Afternoons spent under an oak tree selling corn to passersby on the highway. oooo hurry up sweet corn, grow baby grow!
LikeLike
@Haley, Oh the corn poopies…my stomach is convulsing at the thought.
LikeLike
@Casey, I think we all can stand a little more fiber in our diet…although maybe that’s a bit too much?
LikeLike
@Haley, I’ve pooped once in a week (surgery) and even I wouldn’t be desperate enough to eat my weight in corn no matter how good it was. Besides, THINK OF THE FLOSSING INVOLVED.
LikeLike
Sweet tea. Fried chicken. Sausage gravy. Fried cornbread.
Is it totally wrong that I grill my corn on the cob wrapped in tinfoil and butter?
LikeLike
@ashley, Not wrong at all, just more advanced than some people are ready for (my sister in law? had to call us to make sure she was making tomato soup from a can properly, I’m addressing THESE people.)
LikeLike
Actually… to truly get the best from step one- skip the grocery store and buy from a farm stand or farmer’s market.
And we like to grill ours still in the husk. That’s how they are usually done at festivals and fairs and such!
LikeLike
@Eternal Lizdom, Yes. Farmers market. Yes Grilling. Speaking to the lay corn cookers in the crowd on this one. (THE ONES WHO HUSK THEIR CORN AT THE GROCERY STORE *gasp*)
LikeLike
But roasting? How do you do that, lol
LikeLike
@Midwest Mommy, I’m only telling you if you swear you already know how to cook corn properly. And that you know how to grill. It’s for the good of the corn. Really.
LikeLike
Amen to buying local and in season!
And thanks for the tips. Not to be a nudge, but I thought you were NOT supposed to salt the corn water. Makes it tough, I seem to remember? Am I wrong? Because I typically salt EV-ER-Y-THING. It always kills me just a little bit to boil corn in unflavored water.
LikeLike
@Musings of a Housewife, I dunno, every little old farmer out here (my mentors) adds salt. Fannie Farmer says salt to, and she knows EVERYTHING.
LikeLike
If Fannie Farmer says it, that’s good enough for me! 🙂
LikeLike
@Musings of a Housewife, Honestly? Only cookbook anyone ever needs.
LikeLike
WHOOPS! Can I edit that? Twitter id is dcrmom.
LikeLike
There’s a little stand in Columbus, IN right off the highway, near Grandview Lake that has the. best. sweet corn. EVER. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it.
LikeLike
@Just Shireen, Here I am thinking, Columbus isn’t THAT far…
LikeLike
@Casey, oh it’s not that far at all! I’m in Broad Ripple and it usually takes about 45 min/1hr to get to the lake. And the stand is on SR 46, so it’s even closer since you’re not going all the way out to the lake.
Plus you can stop at the outlet mall on the way back! Win-win.
LikeLike
Southern Louisiana, so I can cook: Red Beans & Rice, Gumbo, Etouffee, Jambalaya, Crawfish and corn bisque (substitute shrimp and/or crab in this one as well), Shrimp Creole…I could keep going but will stop now bc I am making myself hungry!
LikeLike
@Just Another Southern Girl, My culinary skills would never allow me to be a true southerner. The Midwest suits me.
LikeLike
1. Thank you for telling everyone NOT to shuck at the store! Here they put out big barrels for the husks an encourage it. Weirdos. Oh and the out of season, overcooked corn? Boo!
2. Thanks for being a purist! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it 🙂 (However, an herbed compund butter – say with fresh basil or even garlic kicks things up ‘yo!)
3. I’m East Coast Canadian and I can cook and shell lobster like crazy. Chowder is also a staple in my house. I can also make the BEST butter tarts! And yes, they are a Canadian invention.
Great. I want lunch now and it’s only 10am.
LikeLike
@Karen, Me too. You bring the chowder, I’ll bring the corn.
LikeLike
Thank you for passing along your Midwesterner knowledge. Apparently I’ve picked up nothing from living in Ohio for the last three years.
I can’t wait to have perfectly cooked corn!
LikeLike
@Lyndsay, Good news? It should come naturally to you and then you can start grilling your corn and really show the rest of America what’s up.
LikeLike
I always add a splash of milk to the water once it is boiling but before I drop the corn… My husband likes Old Bay on corn. Me? Notsomuch but to each his own!
LikeLike
@Megan, I’ve heard of this Old Bay obsession. Mostly among men. Odd…
LikeLike
As shocking as it may be, I grew up where the bulk of Green Giant stuff comes from, including corn, so I’m also required to know how to make it.
The only difference up here is instead of salt in the water, we put 1-2 tsp of white sugar (depending on how much water is in the pot). Seriously. Try it sometime.
LikeLike
@SciFi Dad, All I’m picturing is you in a leafed toga. Sorry.
LikeLike
@Casey, I am both frightened and confused by your strange Mormon fetishes.
LikeLike
@SciFi Dad, We claim no association with the Jolly Green toga wearing giant.
LikeLike
We BBQ ours, in the husk. If I have to do it in water on the stove, I add milk to the water. YUM.
p.s. America’s Birthday is my birthday too!
LikeLike
@Karen Sugarpants, So you’re like hundreds of years old too?
LikeLike
@Casey, some days i feel like it! 🙂
LikeLike
@Karen Sugarpants, Today my ovaries are being fickle old ladies.
LikeLike
Corn on the cob, a good thick steak, and strawberries…all coming off my grandparents’ farm when I was but a wee child. I was in nirvana and didn’t even know it. As for the corn left over from the garden, my grandmother would blanche it and freeze it. It wouldn’t be on the cob, but man is it the best in January on a cold winters’ night! You can take the girl out of the Hoosierland, but you can’t take the Hoosier out of the girl.
LikeLike
@Angie, If you have corn in the dead of winter? Your granny had it dead on.
LikeLike
Did you know there’s also a crazy Indiana way of BUTTERING the corn? Apparently you butter a piece of bread and then you wrap the bread around the corn and then…okay there’s no way to describe this without it sounding like a sex act. But you use the bread as a vehicle for evenly distributing the butter on all the kernels.
LikeLike
@Jenn, I’m both turned on and hungry…
LikeLike
I am from a long line of Hoosiers and also believe in the sanctity of the corn. And I only have one tiny issue with your otherwise stellar directions above: DON’T BUY YOUR CORN AT THE SUPERMARKET! I realize sometimes it can’t be avoided, but if you really want the best of the best (of the BEST — this IS Indiana after all) then try to pick it up at the farmer’s market. Better yet, get it out of the back of some guy’s truck. He picked it about two hours ago and will tell you more about it than you think you need to know (but trust me, you actually do need to know). I promise it will be worth it.
I am lucky to have my own supplier (my uncle is a farmer, yay!) who calls us the very first day that it’s ready. We head out to the farm and after a morning spent pulling we load up my daughter’s Radio Flyer and go door-to-door making deliveries to the neighbors. Yes, they love us.
Seriously, we know good corn.
Also? Tomatoes. Indiana has the best tomatoes ANYWHERE. Cannot wait to have my yard back next year so we can get to planting again…
LikeLike
@Ket, *ahem* I do not like tomatoes. So we must bond over corn.
And yes. Farmer’s markets are where it’s at.
LikeLike
I didn’t even know people husk their corn at the store. That’s just crazy! Apparently, even though I’ve grown up with CORN EVERYWHERE here in the midwest, I was also unaware of the bug issue. Apparently, even though I see it all the time, CORN FIELDS FOR DAYS, I don’t eat it enough.
LikeLike
@Crystal, I never saw it before I came here. It’s such a strange ritual.
LikeLike
As we would say here in the south, you’re good people for sharing this.
LikeLike
@Jen L., Now share your fried chicken and we can all be friends.
LikeLike
Looks delicious! I HATE when corn is overcooked. gag.
Around here, it’s perogies and broccoli salad. If you go to a party in Pittsburgh, chances are, those two foods will be there.
LikeLike
@Jen, Perogies. Canada got me addicted to Perogies. Mmm…
LikeLike
I lived in New Orleans for four years so I feel obligated to know some of the NOLA classics- jambalaya, gumbo, shrimp creole, what have you. I make a mean shrimp creole (great grandma’s recipe), red velvet cake (great great Aunt’s recipe) and red beans & rice (ummm..Emeril’s recipe with a few tweeks…). That has New Orleans covered and I invite my Chicago friends over for a big pot of red beans and rice every winter.
I also went to high school in Utah and as a result I know a lot about Jello salads even if I don’t make it/them very often. No one else seems to “get” it.
LikeLike
@Daisy, OOH, maybe I could be a southerner! I CAN DO RED VELVET CAKE! I’d be a very fat Southerner though…
LikeLike
@Casey, being able to make a red velvet cake makes anyone an honorary Southerner…the question becomes if your frosting recipe calls for “Oleo”- thats how you know its authentic!!!!
LikeLike
@Daisy, I have things to learn then…
LikeLike
@Casey, Old-school Southern cream cheese frosting recipe…they quit making Oleo after WWII so you can either use butter or 1/2 butter and 1/2 Crisco (more authentic…):
3/4 stick Oleo
1 8 oz.pkg.cream cheese.
1 box powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
Cream oleo and cream cheese then and add sugar and vanilla. Cream well & frost cake.
LikeLike
@Daisy, That’s already how I do it. Honorary Southerner medal plz.
LikeLike
I too am in the Midwest, we love the corn on the cob as well, but I make it in the *cough* microwave *cough*
LikeLike
@Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire, We only keep you because I like you and called in some favors.
LikeLike
@Casey, Well I am glad that somebody called in favors on my behalf I was waiting for my pink slip outta the midwest after my confession.
LikeLike
Mmmmmm….corn….
A trick my mom taught me years ago is to wrap a paper towel around the ear, and rub up and down to get most of the silks off. Doesn’t get 100% of them, but does better than anything I’ve ever tried.
LikeLike
@Katie, I’m going to replace “my mom” in your comment with “my great grandma” and make up a new family legend in my house. OKAY? I was shafted on grandparents. Harumph.
LikeLike
Ok…I didn’t read all the comments, so this may have already been said. If so, sorry.
I have always done my corn the same exact way. Until 2 years ago. And now I have the indoor way, which is your way. And the grill way. Try this and tell me it’s not awesome-wonderful:
Don’t open husks ’til ready, rinse off and then slather with butter, salt and pepper. (Use garlic salt if you’re feeling really wild and crazy.) Wrap in tinfoil. Bake in 350F oven for about 30 mins, or until warm. Then transfer(still wrapped) to grill and finish steaming there. FANTASTIC, I tell you. It takes longer, but it’s totally worth it!
LikeLike
@Bridget, Yes. Grilling. Yes. This is for lay people. THE CORN RUINERS.
LikeLike
People actually HUSK at the grocery store? I live in Indiana and yes I love corn.
Steph
LikeLike
@Adventures In Babywearing, Yes. It’s very strange to me, people huddled around a gigantic trash can husking away.
LikeLike
Sounds great, but I do have to admit that sometimes I pull my corn a bit before it’s fully done and saute it up with some chopped habaneros and a dash of lime.
Really looking forward to the pie crust post. I hate store bought crust. It takes so little extra effort to make your own and tastes infinetly better.
LikeLike
@Dani, YOU PEOPLE WITH THE FANCY CORN.
Promise me no habaneros will be used in the pie crust.
LikeLike
This is just about how I make my corn on the cob too, but I sugar my water 😉 I have a big row of corn planted right outside my back door, and we are just waiting for it to grow!
I’m in SE KS, so you have to know how to make Fried Chicken. I make some pretty kick-butt Chicken Tenders 🙂
LikeLike
@Nicole, I tried the sugar thing tonight. I’m on the fence.
LikeLike
I don’t really feel obligated to know how to make anything from Michigan, I just want to do a good job with whatever I make, ya know?
I like to eat locally grown, fresh produce (especially out of our garden) but not because of “carbon footprint” but because it is healthier and tastier. 🙂
LikeLike
@Lisa, Yeah, footprint schmootprint. Eat local. The end.
LikeLike
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT on the don’t husk it in the store! It drives me no end of crazy to be picking through other people’s half-opened “rejects” in the corn bin. You wouldn’t open a jar of olives in the olive aisle, taste one, and put the jar back, would you? Then don’t open the corn and poke it either! It just makes the ear go all starchy and yuk for the rest of us. In addition to the heaviness factor, you can gently squeeze the top end. If it is at all mushy, the ear is no good. If it’s firm, you’re all set. As for grilling corn, one nice way is to soak the unshucked cobs in the sink for an hour or two, so they absorb a lot of moisture, then grill over med-low heat, turning periodically. It takes about 30 minutes to cook this way, but once the outer husks are starting to look a little burnt, and the corn is smelling a little roasty, it’s done. Shuck, butter, and eat. YUM.
LikeLike
@MommyTime, Just trying to save innocent corn from being overcooked. Grilling is totally where it’s at.
LikeLike
I’m sure the founding mothers appreciate your efforts, because while those crazy founding fathers were busy with their Constitution writing, no one bothered to write down a decent pie crust recipe for the young nation.
(Also, it almost seems like you’re inviting us over for July 4th. I mean, good instructions are great, but why would I make corn and cherry pie when you’re obviously a master at both and will be making them?
LikeLike
@Girl With Curious Hair, Yes. Please come. 6pm. Dinosaur park.
LikeLike
I’m an Idaho girl, so it’s all about the potatoes. Except people are shocked when they hear that I only make potatoes 2 ways and neither of those is baked. Sacrilege!
LikeLike
We must know how to grill out here, I don’t know if that’s a Utah thing or a my family thing.
Corn on the cob on the grill:
Soak corn in husk for twenty minutes in water. Peel back the husk (keep attached) and de-silk. Add butter, salt and pepper. Re-husk and wrap in foil. Place on grill for about ten minutes (we use the top rack so it’s not quite as hot). It’s the BEST!
LikeLike
@Barb @ getupandplay, It’s not a Utah thing. It’s the right thing to do when someone actually knows what they’re doing. Like you. 🙂
LikeLike