squeaky bloated, fat and clean topped with pearls.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted ininfertility

So I feel I’ve already leapt the most awkward hurdle of the next 24 hours.

per vagina

I’ll just let you know that administering two pills per my ONE VAGINA involved some advanced yoga moves Wii Fit doesn’t even know about and a MacGyver rigged tampon.

*ahem*

My belly is marked, the winning submission was “Please leave cleaner than you found it.” followed quite closely by “I won’t hate you if you take out 10 lbs.”

@drsallyforth plz set @uterus straight.

(spelling on your belly is hard, yo.)

On a more serious note (meaning one that doesn’t involve my vagina or drugs in any direct way) back in February during the Coyote Ugly Bar Dancing Extravaganza Blissdom ’09 I met a little lady with a Suhthin’ drawl named Rachel. Cute as a button I declared that we would be friends immediately. And so we were.

On the closing night of Blissdom, Rachel and I were at a GNO shindig where they gave out some lovely door prizes. When they announced that one of the giveaways was a lavender pearl set from Peachbutt Design Studio I believe my exact words were “SHUT UP.”

Rachel and I bonded over our mutual love of pearls and how fancy they make us feel.

Rachel’s name was picked first for the giveaway.

I watched her walk over and pick out the lovely pearl set.

“Good! I thought. They’re going to a PROPER pearl lover. The only place pearls truly belong.”

Then I watched as she walked towards me and shoved them into my hands.

Southern Fairytale passing along the pearls to a disheveled moosh.

(Totally awesome picture of both of us by mom-e-centric. But don’t look at us, look at the sentiment! OOH! SENTIMENT!)

The day after I arrived home from Blissdom I had my first official “infertility appointment” with my new doctor.

I wore my new pearls.

peachbutt design pearls.

I have since worn them to every fertility related appointment since. I rolled them in my fingers during my ultrasound. I held tight do them during my hysterosalpingogram. Today will be no exception. Well, except that I can’t wear jewelry during surgery so my darling Ami will be wearing them for me in the waiting room. Also? I can’t wear makeup. Not even a dusting of powder or a smear of mascara. Boo.

I figure if the pearls started out their life already being payed forward twice after being handmade? There’s got to be something to that.

And you’d better believe I’ll be wearing them the day moosh 2.0 comes spewing forth from my loins.

Thank you for all your virtual hand holding. Britt had a request to see #caseysuterus as a trending topic on twitter today. If that really could happen? It would probably be the most awesome thing ever. (You know, next to shiny clean ovaries and what not.)

xoxo my lovelies.

(Oh, and P.S. to my little kid. Thanks for letting me take your Pooh Bear with me today. And no, they won’t actually tear my tummy open and yes I’ll ask for Hello Kitty band-aids and no, anesthesia is not the same as medistasia (medicine + Cinderella’s wicked stepsister.))

****

Oh! And while I’m off zzzzing why don’t you enter to win a bedtime kit worth over $250!

bai!

66 thoughts on “squeaky bloated, fat and clean topped with pearls.”

  2. I’m one of your biggest cheerleaders – I’ll be waving my pom poms from across town today.

    (oh, and right now I have 3 dancing princesses in my living room that are soooooo cute)

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  5. sending you prayers and positive thoughts that your ute comes out all squeaky clean and that mooshdaddy’s SUPASPERM(said in my best might mouse voice) has a successful trip next time around.

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  7. Wow, I got really confused there for a second. I can’t see the damn pics because of the work filter. I thought you were putting pearls up your hoo-ha, and thought they may be some kind of vaginal cleansing device or something. I need to learn to read more slowly and comprehend more.

    Good luck today!!!!!

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  8. I’m pretty sure Alli (Fussypants) wears pearls every time she makes and delivers babies and she has like 19 of them. Babies, not pearls. So you may have struck upon the magic uterus-worker-thingy.

    Thinking of your insides today!

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  13. If I thought you were vain, I’d accuse you of taking the whole “getting ready for BlogHer” thing a little too far with your internal makeover.

    Here’s hoping your uterus deep cleaning does the trick and you’ve got a new occupant soon.

    You may not be allowed to wear makeup or pearls in surgery, but your beauty will shine through.

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  19. Online late today so didn’t see I needed to throw on my pearls (also my fave jool-ree) but I’ve been praying over you. Much love from a nevermet friend.

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  21. Moosh – New reader here / First time commenter. designHER introduced your blog to Mrs. Blonde. She rolled it. I caught this subject line in our reader and clicked. Bam. Here I am. — 1) “per vagina” is laugh out loud goodness 2) writing on your stomach is great 3) doing so with a typo is even great 4) best of luck with the polishing of the pearls today. Mr. Blonde

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  32. I found your story via the #caseysuterus tag. You are in my thoughts. I’ve had 2 laproscopies prior to 2 of my 3 kids. Tonight and tomorrow, it sounds silly, but hug a pillow to your tummy and crouch on your knees with your rear in the air.

    All the CO2 they pump into your abdomen gets caught up under your diaphragm which can cause intense shoulder pain. Sure you feel like a moron, but at least it isn’t a moron with spasming shoulders.

    Feel better soon!

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  38. Aww, Casey…if you only knew how hard I’m praying for you that the Moosh 2.0 is soon reality.

    You’ve endured more than any one woman should have to. Here’s to hoping your uterus will quickly be tamed in to submission

    XO!

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  42. Oh good luck! Stopped over from Sam’s blog… those pics she posted of you are BEAUTIFUL, and I can’t believe that your daughter took that first one! It’s gorgeous.

    Good luck in your quest, and happy thoughts for your uterus today!

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  46. Good luck honey…I know you will do AWESOME and those Ovaries will do ya proud. Much love from your non mormon reader from the mormon state. HUGS

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  48. I’ve TOTALLY taken those pills and it said EXACTLY the same thing. ONE PER VAGINA! My husband and I make cracks about it all the time.

    Good luck to you, Casey! Can’t wait to hear how things are on the other side.

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  50. Sending you so many healing, uterus loving, baby readying vibes. And am guessing that cute Dr. discovered your insides are just as lovely as your outsides. Be well! XO

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