a uterine factory reset is scheduled.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted ininfertility

Hi Internet.

How are you?

Me? I’m still kind of having a rough time. Cody has started studying hardcore for the bar, it should be against the law to study 12 hours a day for two months straight for ONE TEST.

But that’s just my opinion.

I have my house, but after having the utilities turned on to have it inspected, a pipe blew up somewhere in the ceiling and rendered a light fixture and bathroom fan makeshift water fountains. HURRAH FOR HOME OWNERSHIP!

(As an aside, the bathroom fan, when there is no shower to void humidity, what purpose does the fan truly serve? Is it to cover up noises? Or suck smelly air out? Because personally I think they suck at the latter. I could give examples but I just ate.)

Here’s the other thing. I have to have real surgery. Like I’m going to be konked out and have to sign release waivers and have things cut into me. My belly specifically. The next step to project moosh 2.0 is to factory reset my uterus with a good deep cleaning via  a laparoscopy (lappa-ross-kuppy).

I’m kinda scared.

They call it a “microinvasive” surgery. Regardless, it has the word INVASIVE in it and invasions are never good, unless it’s the invasion of lots of money into my bank account, or cheeseburgers into my mouth.

I’ve only been knocked out once for my wisdom teeth and I remember McSalad Shakers being the last thing I heard as I drifted under.

But this? I’m going to wake up after having stuff shoved in my belly. Sharp stuff. My uterus will have been roto rooted. That can’t feel good right? I had one friend who had a laparoscopic procedure done and their exact words?

“Oh, just feels like I’ve been STABBED IN THE STOMACH FIVE TIMES.”

eep!

And then there’s all these rumors of gas escaping out of your shoulders.

hold me!

Plus I watched Dateline years ago where they covered the whole topic of anesthesia working on your body but not on your mind. (Called anesthesia awareness, there’s an entire campaign. So don’t tell me it’s made up, if there’s a campaign? I have reason to be nervous.)

So basically you’re frozen stiff and everyone thinks you’re asleep but in reality you’re awake and can FEEL AND HEAR EVERYTHING.

I’m not allowed to watch Dateline anymore for a plethora of reasons, this one included.

Okay.

So.

There you go.

Busted pipes both in my ceiling and in my abdominal cavity.

June 23rd, a uterine factory reset is scheduled.

Good times!

149 thoughts on “a uterine factory reset is scheduled.”

  1. I think you’ll be just fine… Only 1 in 1 million (or something like that) experience that whole anesthesia awareness thing…

    Just think- if that happened to you, you would have an amazing story to blog about. 😀

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    1. @Marla,
      Dude, you’re such a blogger. Because only we would look forward to one in a million things happening so we have something to write about.

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  2. 1. I believe the fan is code. I also believe it’s to suck gas out – seriously.

    2. You are going to do great. Additionally, you know I am there for you – in more ways than one.

    ~emily

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  3. You’ll be fine, but expect some serious pain when recovering (depending on how big the incision is). I was stunned at how painful my c-section was for the first week (and equally stunned the second time around b/c I thought I had developed super-mom powers that made me impervious to pain – I was wrong). Just think about the possible outcome and it will make anything seem okay. Good luck!

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  5. Dude, busted pipes? Oh how much fun! At least there will be no “breach” by a rottweiler in heat, haha. As for your procedure, be confident that you’ll be surrounded by lots of well-established professionals. Who can also prescribe pain meds. Lots of pain meds if necessary! (I speak from experience)

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  7. I have had this exact surgery, and trust me you will be fine! I am a worrier too, but it was really not as bad as I thought. Routine cleaning! Awesome house, by the way. A house like that in our area would easily be 350,000. So jealous of all that space.

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  8. Don’t get too worried about the surgery. I’ve had laparoscopic surgery (but not that particular one, granted) and was up and around and feeling great in no time. Don’t watch dateline ever…those kinds of shows just sit around thinking up things to freak people out.

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  9. Honey, you know I have had one…it sucks, I won’t lie. The worst part is the shoulder pain from the gas…I could handle recovering from the incisions…but the shoulder…oi…had to sleep semi-upright for DAYZ! I wish I could fly, cuz you know I would be right there nursing you back to health. Love you, glad your doc is being proactive, a very good sign.

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  10. I had a lap in October. I’ll be honest, the first couple of days really stunk. The worst part of my pain was the biggest incision which had to be extended to remove my ovary and needed deep internal stitches. I would get a twinge from that for a good six weeks after surgery. The gas escaping from the shoulders thing is true and the best relief for that was found via walking and a massage. Be diligent with icepacks on the incisions, drugs around the clock for the first few days, and um, don’t expect your pants to fit for a couple of weeks.

    To be honest, I was a little bit cavalier about the pain. I had had a vertical incision laparotomy two years earlier and it took FOREVER to recover from that and nothing could be that bad. It wasn’t THAT bad, but it wasn’t the cakewalk I had hoped for. I was back at work in a little over a week and traveling for work at 2.5 weeks without any problems. Oh, and my doctor let me see pictures of my guts which was AWESOME. Make sure you ask for pictures!

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  11. OH, about that anesthesia thing, I asked the anesthesiologist about that and he assured me that it’s beyond rare and most hospitals never, ever see a case of it.

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  12. Good luck! I think the main issue with lap surgery is that since the visible incision(s) are so small, people don’t realize that your body has suffered a major systemic insult, and you must rest and be kind to yourself, even if you just have a couple of band aids to show for it. So people often overdo too soon, and then pay the price.

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  14. I just absolutely freaked over a very minor surgery so I’d be wigging too.

    My mom had this done when she was dealing with endometriosis. (I think I’m spelling that wrong.) She said it was uncomfortable but not horriblehorriblehorrible. But I will be sending you brave thoughts. So sorry you’re going through all this.

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  15. So when they do the reset, will it delete all of your other junk files, too? This could be a good thing. For instance, you won’t remember all of the other hours Cody has spent studying and you’ll have a newfound tolerance for studying for the bar.

    Seriously. The bar exam? I’d rather have open-heart surgery than go through that again.

    In other words, I’ll be praying for you, but my prayers may be a little lopsided because oy! I hate the bar exam. …plus, I have total faith in the moosh 2.0 project.

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  17. I wish I could be there. Instead, I’ll be sending you lots of love and begging Cody to take videos of you all incoherent like from the anesthesia. It’s because I love you…. really.

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

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  18. Dood. Sorry to hear you’re going under, but let’s hope it’s totally worth it in the end. Moosh 2.0 is as good a reason as any.

    I’ve had a lapro and the first word that came to mind when I was reading your post is “gas”… that really was the worst part. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my back hurt. And be prepared for your belly to be super bloated for days.

    But again, you’ll do great!

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  22. Oh hon, I think you’ll do well with this. You’ve recovered from having a baby – you can handle this.

    You know, Columbus is a hop, skip and jump away from Indy. Want me to come hold your hand and serve as a translator between you and the medical folks? I’m completely willing if you’d like.

    PS – The gas doesn’t actually go up to your shoulders. It’s a referred pain due to the air irritating nerves in the abdomen. (The phrenic nerve, to be specific.) Due to the way the nervous system is laid out, the pain often radiates to the shoulder.

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    1. @Christina, You’re such a nurse. And if you want to come? You’re more than welcome, but more so you can record me coming out of anesthesia with a flip. Because that? Should be priceless.

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  23. Two points:

    1. My cousin is an anesthesiologist and he has been for several years. I asked him about this awake but frozen business and he said he has never, ever seen that happen, and has never heard of it happening at his hospital (one of the largest in Seattle). So don’t worry! You will get the good drugs and they will totally work.

    2. I will send some good thoughts in your direction regarding the laparoscopy. My sister had one of those, and now I have a 14 year old nephew. Also, I think I can speak for all of us when I say that the world could definitely use another one of your crazy-awesome kids.

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  24. Ok, this probably isn’t going to help at all, but that anesthesia awareness thing totally happened to me. I woke up during my wisdom tooth extraction (they did all 4 at once, and I was supposed to be knocked out). The nurse looked at my open eyes, said, “Oh no!” and cranked up the gas, and I passed back out.

    I didn’t feel anything, and it wasn’t scary. It’s just a cool story I tell, now that anesthesia awareness is getting attention. Even if it happens to you (and it’s rare), it won’t necessarily be painful or traumatic.

    Looking forward to Moosh 2.0! Best of luck for the roto rooting and everything that follows. Hugs!

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  25. Welcome to the wonderful world of homeownership! It’s experiencing situations like yours that made me name my blog Condo Blues! 🙂

    The fan is there for ventilation because of building codes. All bathrooms need either a window or fan even if you don’t have a shower or tub in the room.

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  26. THAT IS ONE OF MY TOP FEARS! Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba were in a movie about it called “Awake.” Of course I couldn’t watch it because it would turn my paranoia into full-blown PANIC!

    Good luck with your surgery!

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  27. I had the same surgery – twice. It wasn’t too bad because the inscisions are so small and the pain meds were so good I slept most of the week I was off of work.

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  28. De-lurking to say, I ,too, am sooooo scared of anesthesia. I am pretty sure I saw that same, disturbing, Dateline special. I have had surgery though, and stayed asleep the whole time, thank God.

    I have not had laparoscopic surgery, however I have 2 close friends who have endometriosis, who have had it. I hear it is no walk in the park, but it isn’t unbearable.

    Best of Luck!

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  29. I will be hittin the slots in Vegas that day and promise to pray before the gods of the gamlin halls for your safe and secure surgery.

    Moosh 2.0 is definately a new program I can get behind.

    btw didja know only 1 in like 100 pass the bar the first time they take it? **ducking**

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  30. Yeah, been there, done that. Make sure you have frozen peas handy. (Ice just doesn’t feel the same.)

    And I totally agree with the stabbing sentiment. Also? Avoid laughing afterwards. AND TAKE ANY PILLS THEY GIVE YOU.

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  31. The only thing worse than having your hubs study for the bar is the sheer eternity it takes to get from July when they take it to October when they announce results (do they still do that?). Your man will be just fine. And someday you’ll look back and laugh. I puh-romise. Good things take a long time, great things happen over night (homeownership, bar exams, surgeries to get to Moosh 2.0).

    Have had 2 c-sections so I semi-feel your pain. I was not fully knocked out though. And I was not thinking about Salad Shakers (and until now I had forgot about them completely). Pain meds YES. Also Colace so you don’t get all backed up. Pain meds slow evvvverrryything down.

    I can make a mean coming home from the hospital and don’t feel like cooking meal for you and the fam (and might even just be able to score some cupcakes). Just let me know.

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    1. @Cherie, Our friends last year didn’t find out until NOVEMBER. BAH!
      And yes, the salad shaker, they seemed like such a good idea right?
      And you can totally come over and make fun of me with my tongue lolling out of my mouth.

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  32. I can second the Colace recommendation, if you didn’t have a c-section with the moosh. Narcotics slow your pipes waaaaay down. I was, ahem, backed up for a week.

    Praying, my dear, all day long the 23rd. And after for a swift and medication-filled recovery! We are all backing the moosh 2.0 project. 😉

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  33. I can’t be there in person for you during your surgery, but I wish I could. You’ll do great, and recover quickly and make lots of babies. And name one of them Avitable.

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  35. I had a lap 7 years ago and will need another here in the not so far away future (endometriosis). And then the worst part was the CO2 (gas) that they pump your abdomen full of. It of course rises and I found if I didn’t lay completely flat (even without a pillow) the pain in my shoulder was killer, eventually your body will absorb the CO2 but it takes a few days. My incisions were no larger than a pencil eraser and recovered quickly. However, my saving grace were a pair of drawstring, stretchy, light weight fabric, pajama pants. I could tie them so they sat above all of the incisions and they were light enough weight wise to not rub or bother the incisions.

    Good luck surviving bar exam studies (I can’t imagine!)

    I’ll be praying that moosh 2.0 is reset quickly and with few complications! Good Luck!

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  36. I had a lapro for endometriosis a few years ago ~ best advice I can give: when you wake up make sure your first words are “OWOWOWOWOWOWOW” They’ll give you the best pain meds before you leave recovery (shots) after that you have to wait for stoopid pills to kick in. Ask if you can have a pill before you leave, so that the drive isn’t as rough on you. Sitting up with a couple of tiny incisions is harder than you would expect!

    Praying for clear pipes & a good reset!!

    (Did your homeowners ins cover the damage? They are supposed to have a binder on the home to cover from the purchase date until your premium check clears.)

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  38. First of all good luck on your surgery.

    second, I totally know someone who had the whole anesthesia thing happen to her when we were in high school. She had serious panic attacks after that for years.

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  39. I had laproscopy for my gall bladder, and a few months later, a friend’s womanly insides were roto rooted. Before reading you post, I would have said it was no big deal. Now, I’m remembering my shoulder hurting. 😦 I think they’re starting to hurt now from phantom pains.

    But the incisions (both from the laproscopy and the C-section a few months before that) and the shoulder pain are NOTHING compared the the dang contractions after your water breaks.

    And I just try not to think about the anesthesia. I don’t ask what they’re putting in the tube and just fall asleep when I’m tired. I just happen to wake up a whole surgery later. 🙂

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  40. My hubbs just got konked out last week for surgery…apparently some peeps don’t wake up from it well, my hubbs was one of them. Apparently he had to be restrained. Talk about some good times. The nurses were all talkin’ about it.

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  41. On the plus side, since every bathroom has a fan, the gas escaping your shoulders will have somewhere to go, right?

    I hope the experience isn’t too painful for you, and that you get lots of nice narcotics in the moments following, and that you’re the kind of blogger who shares her narcotics.

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  42. That stinks about the ceiling. About a month after we moved into our house our (brand new) fridge went out and our plumbing backed up. Luckily part of it was covered by the previous owner (it was a rehab) and we covered the rest. It was good times using furniture money for that!

    Good luck with the surgery – I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers on the 23rd!

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  43. Good luck with the surgery and good luck to Cody! I don’t know what the bar is like in Indy, but my husband wrote part one of the bar on Tuesday. IT WAS SEVEN HOURS LONG. Open-book, though, and they only have to get 60% of the multiple-choice questions right to pass (no stressing about getting a high grade, just pass or fail)! Same goes for part two. SEVEN HOURS. Total of FOURTEEN HOURS. I had considered law school briefly, but now? ha! NO.

    Anyways, good luck to both of you!

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  44. So I had a laparoscopy a few years ago. I only remember there being 1 “bad” day, and that really wasn’t that bad. Having my wisdom teeth pulled was worse. But honestly, Casey, by far HG was the worst. You’ve dealt with that; you can most certainly deal with this.
    And just think, if this works, you may get to experience that again! YEAH!!! My husband often reminds me that the second we finally get pregnant, I’ll be locked in the bathroom for 9 months puking and crying. The crazy things we do! Good luck with the de-bugging and 2.0!

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  45. Because of Dateline I wore the wrong size engagement ring for 11 years, not like a bit off, but 2 sizes too big! I saw this thing that they took the diamonds out and put CZ in. When I finally got it resized because it was triangular in shape at this point-I was a nervous wreck.

    And as for your procedure-I had one done about 12 yrs ago. It wasn’t awful, I remember being freezing & my BP was really low afterwards. I also remember I couldn’t vacuum for a few weeks afterwards. I know, I know…why didn’t someone tell you this sooner.

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  47. Some days when I read your posts I feel like I am reliving my past…

    When we bought our home, the day we got the keys, we flushed the toilets and ran the water only to have a fountain of water coming out everywhere! Welcome to being a homeowner!

    Also, I’ve had that surgery, along with ovarian drilling. Seeing how I am pregnant now, I have such big hopes for you!

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  48. Never had abdominal sx, but have had many others… Been awake on purpose for one, accidentally for another – and so, while I can tell you your fears do have some basis in truth, well, it’s not that bad. You can live through it (I did!) GOOD LUCK!

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  50. how sweet that the house came with waterfalls. More nature right inside! What a precious little surprise.

    I hope your surgery is thoroughly uneventful…even if crazy stuff would give you something to blog about. =) Good luck!

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