hedder spohr like mold.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted inToo lazy to label.

This is my friend Heather (Hedder.)
oh hai. we massaged.
About a year ago I put Hedder through a DTI interview. (Determine the relationship interview.(And no, I’m not kidding.)) I don’t throw around the term Best Friend loosely and I certainly don’t want to be handing it out to people who are only mutually lukewarm to my existence. After Hedder passed the DTI, she was promoted into the ranks with Kim.
And then Heather and Kim met, and we took pictures.
My favorite photo from my trip.
This photo is one of the single best moments of my life.
Many of you know that Kim’s world was torn apart last year by an adoption scam, a terrible miscarriage that nearly resulted in her death, a difficult foster situation and yet another flaming pile of adoption crap. (All of this happened within the span of 6 months.)
Most of you should already know that Heather’s world was torn apart less than 36 hours ago when her only daughter (who just happens to be the cutest daughter of anyone, including me) passed away at 17 months from complications with an everyday sick bug and her tiny frail premature body. Despite the fact that her body was tiny and frail it was big enough to contain the biggest, sweetest spirit of any child I’ve met.
the moosh and the moo became fast friends over their mutual love of cream puffs, little white dogs, giggles and all things sugar.
the moosh and the birthday girl
I’ve watched Kim over the last year recover from her immense loss and pain. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it. I know the Heather that pole danced and sang “I want you to want me” in Nashville is broken right now. Part of her heart, if not her whole heart, left when Maddie left this life. I know that the Heather that talks in her sleep(A LOT. It’s like sleeping to the evening news broadcast.) isn’t sleeping so well. I know that the Heather who abhorres the bottoms of peoples feet will never be the same.
But I know the Heather I’ve grown to fall in love with is still in there. I know that over time that Heather will be back. Changed, but no less lovable.
LOOVE
shash, spohr, moosh.
Dancin'
I love you Hedder Spohr like mold.
So many people do.
I wish this wasn’t you. I wish the only dramatic change in your life was a spike in your Master Card interest rate. (Master Card? Suck it.) But I know you know that I know you know that I know where Maddie is, and that you’ll see her again. For eternity. With no hospitals, no RSV, no oxygen rockets, no breathing treatments (and maybe no code browns, that would be nice right?)
And I’ll be right here the whole time. From a distance, in your face, online and in person.
my dearest daughter
Yesterday in my mad dash to fly across the country in less than 24 hours I left my computer screen open and the moosh saw this photo.

“LOOK! It’s Maddie smiling because she’s so happy to be up in heaven with Jesus.”

Yes. She is.

*******

No one should ever have to bear the burden of losing a child, let alone paying for a child’s funeral services. A paypal account is set up for the Spohr family, donations greatly appreciated. formaddie (at) hotmomreviews (dot) com.

A P.O. Box has also been set up for cards, notes, letters, gift certificates, puppies, packages and massive amounts of Canadian Smarties. (So maybe no puppies.)

Mike & Heather Spohr
11870 Santa Monica Blvd. #106-514
West Los Angeles, CA 90025

84 thoughts on “hedder spohr like mold.”

  1. You are a beautiful friend. And Heather is a beautiful person.

    I’m crying and can’t figure out much more to say.

    But thank you, thank you, thank you. For being there for her.

    Marias last blog post..Madeline Alice

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  7. That made my heartbreak so much more. It’s what I keep thinking about: How will Heather and Mike be after this? They won’t be the same and having had the pleasure of meeting them both (including Mike making the noise he would make for Maddie to get her to smile)…it’s just…God, I cannot even imagine how you get through something like this if ever. It’s unspeakable and unfathomable.

    From one Hedder to another; she is loved and funny and amazing. And we’re all right here behind you.

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  10. This is such a beautiful post. I don’t know you or Heather–just found out about everything yesterday but I feel like my world has been torn a part so I can’t even imagine what you all are going through. She’s lucky to have such wonderful and loving friends. I have been praying for everyone and hope her heart will heal some day.

    samantha jo campens last blog post..Empty

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  12. I still cannot believe this. I’m just shaken and I hurt for her so much. I’ve donated and I’m walking in Nashville, but I’ll have to think what to send. Everything is so inadequate to this monstrous task.

    Amy2 boyss last blog post..Word To Yo Momma

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  18. Pingback: No Pasa Nada » Blog Archive » Unspeakable

  21. I’ve cried so much for this family I don’t even know. Moosh’s piercing insight got me started all over again.

    Blessings on you, Casey, for a beautiful tribute and for being there in every sense of the word for your friend Heather.

    Megan@SortaCrunchys last blog post..Holy Week: Thursday

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  23. Beautiful, beautiful post.

    It’s heartwarming to know Heather and Mike have such wonderful friends taking care of them right now.

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  24. Heather is one of my BFF’s as well, and I too will be there taking a flight from NYC to LA next week. My heart breaks, and i havent stopped crying since I awoke at 4:20AM on tue/wed night. I knew something was wrong. I just knew. She is a strong, strong woman who will only become stronger bec of this.

    mayas last blog post..Madeline Alice Spohr 2007-2009

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  25. So, so sad. Will continue to pray for parents who must face the day without their child. This next, indefinite phase of mourning is why they are so blessed to have friends like you.

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  27. Can you do me a favor? Of the many thousands of hugs you will be giving her over the next few hours, days, months, years, can one of them count from me? My heart is just broken for her.

    midwest mommys last blog post..Friends

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  32. This, this was probably the best post. This was beautiful and sweet and had it’s funny parts (like Heather). I don’t blog (because I procrastinate), I do, however, read blogs & yours & Heather’s are on my daily list. Your post yesterday brought me to tears, your post today, overwhelmed me with the love you have. Big hugs to Heather & Mike. And, big hugs to you, for your hurt, your pain.
    And, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You are truly wonderful.

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  35. I can’t even imagine the pain. I have never met or spoken to Heather but I still can’t stop crying. When I seem to get it together I look at my baby girl and tears flow again. My deepest sympathy’s

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  38. Casey, this was just perfect. My heart is broken for all of you.

    Heather is lucky to have such a wonderful friend in you. Please give her and Mike hugs for me. Love you guys.

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  39. Pingback: For An Angel Named Maddie | Blonde Mom Blog

  40. What an amazing post. I am so hearbroken for this family I have never met, nor even heard about until last week. I’m amazed at the out pouring of love from the internets that within 24 hours over $15,000 was raised for March of Dimes in precious Maddie’s name.

    I cannot imagaine the pain and suffering all those effected are going through. But I too, know that they will see their precious Maddie again.

    You’re an amazing friend. Thanks for inspiring us all.

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  44. Wow. I haven’t met any of you, but that was the most beautiful, loving, heartfelt post. I have a huge lump in my throat. My thoughts and prayers have been with Heather and Mike and beautiful Maddie this week. God bless and keep everyone who is feeling the profound loss of such a beautiful young girl.

    Anonymous New Yorks last blog post..Overheard in A New York Marriage*

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  45. my heart is broken for a woman i don’t know and i am crying for a baby i have never met, may they find some comfort in their memories of a beautiful child

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  46. I don’t know you or Heather, but I am crying just the same. Prayers and sympathies abound. She may not know it for a while, but you are the friend she needs. Now and a year from now when she might be or might not be beginning to heal.
    Godspeed Madeline!

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  47. You said it.

    Oh man, Casey… I just can’t come out of this haze. Thanks for making me smile just a little. This was a beautiful testimony of friendship. And I know Maddie is with Jesus. And I know that Heather has wonderful people to help her through this unimaginable time.

    But dammit… you’re right… it’s not fair.

    Sugar Joness last blog post..Remembering Maddie

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  48. Jesus would totally wear a diaper hat.

    Praying for the grief of this family – praying for the peace that only comes from Him – praying their new normal will be better than they imagined – praying for everyone who loves this little girl and her mommy and daddy.

    kristis last blog post..Things I love

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