why finding God is a tricky business.

I do know this person in real life, however all identifying references have been removed. (If you’d like to out yourself man, be my guest but I’m going to respect your privacy as not all the internet is as forgiving as others.) I share this with you because I’ve found that a lot of people put pressure on other people to find God, once they finally do they are told they found the wrong God because it’s not their God. This chat occurred last night after a tweet about my disdain for BYU.

Man:
Man from MyBlog here, are you there?
Casey:
yup
Man:
wanna here my thoughts? are should i leave you be?
Casey:
about me being a bad person? I’m totally interested.
Man:
oh, so you already know? : )that helps
Casey:
are you kidding me?
Man:
well, i am right now
Casey:
a lot gets lost in translation in 140 characters or less.
Man:
but i stopped following you because i think you use cheapness to garner attention
Casey:
that’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it.
Man:
indeed it is
and i read enuf on your blog to wonder why you would call yourself LDS
you might guess i’m totally against LDS…but
Casey:

are you sure you’re reading the right blog?

Man:

if you are gonna say that’s what you believe it ought to show. yeah, the one i read had to do with gays
Casey:
I love all people.
Man:
it was a while back, i even made a comment. i love all people too
Casey:
the prop 8 post?
Man:
probably but wait…you use sex a lot in your posts to excite
Casey:
I really don’t…
Man:
that’s not an approved Biblical concept there
Casey:
I’m not even sure I’ve used the word sex in any post of mine.
Man:
you probably haven’t, but c’mon
Casey:
It is and approved biblical concept that I make out with my husband.
Did your wife ever experience infertility?
Or anyone close to you?
Man:
i even remember when we met at [that thing we met at], and i saw you twittering in the big room…
hang on – short phone call, almost done if you’re still there
Casey:
I’m sorry that you think I’m cheap.Β  Or that I gave you the wrong impression, but who I am online is who I am in real life. Whether you like it or not, nobody’s opinion of me will ever change who I am unless it’s my opinion or God’s.
I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish.
No one forces you to read my blog or my tweets.

Man:

it would be a lot easier to have a conversation about this, but i don’t think that’s what you’d wanna do.Β  mostly i’d just like to encourage you to take a serious look at God’s word and compare that to how you think…
i’m not here to bash you, but you words are not in line with Biblical teaching…
you can get mad at me if you want
but you need to hear that
Casey:
I’m not mad, I just don’t argue about God, what works for me doesn’t work for you and vice versa and that’s fine.
Man:
for YOUR good, not mine
Casey:
And that’s fine.
Man:
not really fine, either one, or both of us is wrong
Casey:
What does it matter if we are both happy with our lives?
Man:
cuz happy don’t get you to Heaven, you might be happy and go to heaven…but i sure wouldn’t trade happy here for Hell
and before you get mad, i’m not saying you are going to hell…i don’t have any way to know
Casey:
I’m not going to hell, neither are you…
Man:
ok, but why do you think you are not? do you wanna try a short skype call?
Casey:
I don’t understand why it’s so important to you?
If you don’t like the LDS religion wouldn’t you rather me be out there perpetuating your negative image of my chosen faith?
Man:
do you remember that i run the pro-life music fest?
Casey:
I do remember that, a worthy cause.
Man:
no, i want you to go to Heaven
Casey:
I am going to heaven.
Man:
LDS won’t get you there
Casey:
It will get me there, and my family will be there too.
Man:
well, then it seems to me that you don’t believe the Bible and you are more than free to not believe, it just comes with consequences
Casey:
I do believe…is this based soley on the prop 8 post?
Man:
no, not at all
Casey:
I mean the last post I did was about my difficulties in trying to have a baby, the one before that was about feeding hungry children. I had one about how much I love my husband and my child.
Man:
so, good cancels bad? no sin if you do enuf good?
Casey:
I just don’t get what I write about that is so offensive to you?
Man:
that’s noy Biblical
Casey:
I don’t get where my glaring sins come through on my blog, yes I have them, but who are you to judge? I leave the Judging up to Jesus. As it should be. Why are you so worried about my salvation anyway? I’ve got it figured out for me.
Man:
as do i, but the Bible clearly teaches that we should confront those who say they believe but aren’t walking as they should
Casey:
I love my life.
Man:
that’s not judging
Casey:
Ah ha…well. my blog is 1/16th of my actual ife.
Man:
God is the only one who can judge, i have no power
Casey:
if you only see 1/16th of my actual life (if even that) I’m pretty sure I’m good.
Man:
no one is good, certainly not me
Casey:
me nither, but I do my best from sun up to sundown.
Man:
that’s the problem, we are all headed to Hell, unless…
Casey:
I slip sometimes.
Man:
unless we find the way that leads to Heaven
Casey:
That’s the difference, we are not all headed to hell.
Man:
and that’s only thru Christ
Casey:
we are headed to different degrees of heaven. I can send you some missionaries to explain it to you…
Man:
we are all born headed for Hell, you don’t agree?
Casey:
nope. where’s the hope in that?
Man:
you don’t seem to know much about the Bible the hope is only in Christ
Casey:
you don’t seem to know much about my faith.
Man:
that’s the point!
Casey:
so why not let me worship as I please?
Man:
you can, i care enuf to converse tho, if you want me to leave, i will
Casey:
I’m not changing my faith on the opinion of anyone.
Man:
didn’t expect you would…but i did hope to challenge your thoughts and to do so in love
Casey:
what religion do you consider yourself?
Man:
Christian
Casey:
what denomination?
Man:
not a denomination
Casey:
OH. well
Man:
there aren’t any in the Bible it’s all about Christ
Casey:
the name of my church is the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
He’s in the name, yo.
Man:
denominations are like clubs to people these days
Casey:
well, I like my “club”
Man:
yeah, i know, i was one when i was akid
Casey:
LDS? or in a club
Man:
but Christ is not at the center of LDS
Casey:
he totally is.
Man:
and that’s easy to research
Casey:
if you only look for what you want to look for.
Man:
not the Christ of the Bible…they’ve made a different one – similar but different
Casey:
my husband keeps telling me this is never going to end.
Man:
probably right
Casey:
You are a child of God, I am a child of God, Jesus loves you, Jesus loves me, please respect me because I respect you.
Man:
well, that certainly takes the “i’m a sinner and need salvation” part out of it all
Casey:
That’s not what I said…
Man:
that’s usually what people wanna leave out and that’s the pivot point
Casey
Man, goodnight.
Man:
well, i haven’t been mean or nasty
Casey:
I haven’t said you have been.

Man:
so i hope that speaks to you
Casey:
I hope I haven’t been either.
Man:
and, i did just what you said, i stopped following you
Casey:
I appreciate your concern in sharing your opinion.
Man:
that’s what started this
Casey:
People unfollow me everyday.
Man:
but i do wish you would want to talk about all this
Casey
People send me nasty letters when they find out my choice of religion.
Man:
that’s not why i left
Casey:
They like me up until they find out why I’m “one of them” I like being “one of them”
Man:
it’s because you use the weakness of human nature to puff you up and that’s cheap
Casey:
the weakness of human nature?
Man:

just as i said, our sinful nature
Casey:
that BYU stinks?
Man:
your posts appeal to our sinful nature a lot, that’s my point
Casey:
There’s a lot of other bloggers who need a lot more help than me.
Wha?
Man:
why would someone wanting to please God do that? yes there are, but i only know you
Casey:
allow me to introduce you to a few…
Man:
you do remember me from [that place we met], right?
Casey:
I do remember you
Man:
you sat at my table in the big room
Casey:
yes. and we sat along the wall and talked about your concerts
Man:
and then at the meeting in the evening, yeah, so, i met you, maybe for a reason
Casey:
or maybe I met you for a reason.
Man:
maybe
Casey:
I want to spend friday evening with my husband, Man.
Man:
but i can tell you that i have experienced Christ in a way that gives me the strength to say you can put a bullet in my head, I will never deny Him
Casey:
Same here, goodnight Man.
Man:
i honestly doubt it…. have agreat eve

Now, I may not spend every waking moment and every word bringing people and glory to God in obvious ways, but I’m pretty confident in saying I’ve never scared anyone away from Him.

I’m leaving comments open as long as everyone can play nice. No name calling. If you must name call tell me what color your bedsheets are instead.

120 thoughts on “why finding God is a tricky business.

  1. Wow.

    I’m sorry that you had to deal with this, but from reading it, I feel like you did a remarkable job explaining your faith to someone who doesn’t quite understand Mormonism.

    As a non-denominational Christian with a lot of Mormon friends, I have realized that it really comes down to the idea that we are to love one another as Jesus loved us. We can’t love without Jesus because He was the first love, will be the last love and is the only real love.

    There are a lot of things about Mormonism that I don’t quite understand, but that gives me no right to say you’re “not walking as you should.” We aren’t the judges, you have it right, the LORD is the one and only judge.

    (Sorry if this comment is rambly, I’ve got a pain med in me but I wanted to reach out in a bit of support.)

    BTW – my bedsheets are cream with weird kinda-sorta stripes in them. πŸ™‚

    Sarahs last blog post..Protected: Surgery Photographs

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  2. I will never understand why, in MY experiences, the people who claim to follow God’s word/teachings/etc, are THE most judgmental about belief and religion.

    I honestly don’t care what religion (or club, hehe) people belong to – it’s none of my business. If a person is loving and happy and kind; a person lives their life the best way they can, then that’s all that matters to me.

    Casey, I admire your devotion and sharing and honesty about your religion. I have learned about LDS because of you and appreciate your faith. Beyond that, if I didn’t like it, I just wouldn’t visit.

    The people around me – in real life and those who live in my computer – have amazingly varied beliefs. To me, it makes it that much more interesting. I certainly would never surround myself with people who believe exactly the same as me – where’s the fun in that?

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  3. I’ve had lots of conversations with people about my life, faith, and being LDS. Some listen and thank me for taking the time to explain, and some don’t. I’m ok with not having control over their reactions. God gave each of us the right to choose our own way. I hope I’m a good example of Christ-like love, and that’s enough for me.

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  4. I think you handled that very well, Casey. I am sorry you had to, though. I don’t know how someone can go through life thinking we are all destined for Hell.. that is simply not the way I was raised, I suppose.

    As an aside, i see a link top right for wedding rings. I am in fact shopping for wedding rings. If i click that and buy something, do they kick part of it back to you? I’m not sure how that works…

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  5. Well then.

    Casey, I think you are a far better woman/person/Christian/whatever for walking through that converation with him. I think you were more than gracious and not at all nasty. What on earth causes people to think they are going to convince a person to completely turn their backs on the faith they choose to believe and practice in a chat conversation?!

    Just. Wow. Shaking my head a little bit over all of this.

    And I’m sorry people write you hate letters over your faith.

    Megan@SortaCrunchys last blog post..7 Quick Takes: March 13th (lots of food edition)

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  6. good grief. you have FAR more patience than i do – i couldn’t even read the whole thing because i have such a hard time with either/or, black/white thinking. (unless i’m coding something, but that’s quite different – computers don’t understand nuance and situation very well!)

    i keep going back and reading a little bit more at a time and i do marvel at your patience … as for the “one of them” kind of stuff- i never have understood that whether it was religion or skin colour or something else. i admire you because you are who you are – beliefs, religion, struggles, the whole package.

    enders last blog post..Keep Medicated

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  7. I grew up in a religion (not LDS) that was also controversial to those not involved. In school other kids were constantly informing me that I was either going to hell or going to be left behind to burn in the second coming. These were eight year olds! As a result I have no patience for this kind of arrogant, prying, presumptuous, unwelcome, impertinent line of questioning whether its directed at me or anyone else. It makes me want to shake people. Whew…thanks for letting me vent.

    Hollys last blog post..The Defiant Child

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  8. Not only do I want to name call, but I want to out his name as well.

    Send him my way, tell him this Agnostic needs “saving”, however, I won’t be half as nice as you and I will tell him who wrote “his” bible (because it sounds nothing like the one I have read)and where he can put it.

    UGH!
    btw my sheets are pink.

    Adriennes last blog post..Work Your Space

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  9. My bedsheets are white.
    My bedsheets are white.
    My bedsheets are white.

    πŸ™‚

    He was egging you on for fun. You are so patient.

    In my opinion, people who openly judge others and hide behind the Bible to do it are cowards and hurt more people than they’d like to believe they help. The overwhelming hypocrisy of people like this who act in this way is precisely why I no longer believe in “organized” religion.

    But I will say that in my experience, the LDSers that I know are some of the kindest most compassionate people I know. (And also a hell of a lot of fun!)

    Was that “name calling”? I hope not.

    My bedsheets are white, by the way.

    Danielles last blog post..Once Upon a Time When I Was Mean

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  10. THEY’RE GREEN!!!!!

    They’re the most holier-than-thou green I’ve ever seen. They are so certainthat they know what Jesus looks like that they are sad that the other sheets are disrespectful of all the other sheets. And can’t take hints worth a good dosh darn.

    Jesus wants all the sheets for a sun-BEAM.

    Backpacking Dads last blog post..Orange County Road Trip: part two

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  11. maybe at the end of this conversation you both saw eye to eye on your individual beliefs. i coulnd’t finish it. he took everything you said and turned it around or ignored it and brought up another point that made no sense.

    i’m not religious. but this post really got me frustrated for you.

    Ms. Changes Pants While Drivings last blog post..She

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  12. my sheets are cream. my sheets are cream. my sheets are cream. i have three different sets that are three different kinds of cream. my sheets are brown. my sheets are teal.

    i just finished reading the conversation. and i’m not calling anyone names.

    Ms. Changes Pants While Drivings last blog post..She

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  13. I think you are an amazing person. It doesn’t matter what you believe in, so long as it makes you happy. I believe in the Craft and call myself Witch. It doesn’t matter if people don’t understand, all that matters is that you go through life doing the best you can on that given day. I think you are a beautiful person inside and out (from the 1/16th of your life that I’ve seen of course). Be who you are.

    (My sheets are blue polar fleece)

    Jills last blog post..*swoon*

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  14. You handled yourself well, very non-judging & loving. You should feel proud.

    My sheets are red & a super high thread count that I love πŸ˜‰

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  15. WOW! You are amazingly more patient than I am! I was getting your tweets last night wondering what was going on. I’m glad I know. I wish you wouldn’t have had to go through that, but you did so extremely well.

    And for the 1/16 of your life that I know about, I think you’re an amazing, stand up, christian example. So thanks for that!

    Erikas last blog post..New Blog…

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  16. My favorite line was when you asked him if we wanted the missionaries to come over. Excellent.

    I have no need for name calling, but I do accept the invitation to tell you about my bedsheets. They are dark blue and silky. They are not particularly fancy or expensive, but they FEEL fancy and expensive. The package described them as “lingerie for your bed,” and it’s true. πŸ™‚

    Sherrys last blog post..Pi Day

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  17. I wish I knew what lead up to you “chatting”. That seemed rather strange to me also.
    I sure wish people understood that the LDS believe that there is only ONE Jesus Christ and we didn’t “make” ours different from anyone else’s. He is one and the same.
    I am also glad to know that I was not put here on this earth so “save” mankind. God gave that job to his son Jesus Christ. What an under taking he has accepted.
    It’s hard enough working daily to make sure I do what’s necessary for myself to be worthy to be saved by him.

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  18. Ugh. This is why people hate “Christians.” Seriously. How embarrassing for those of us who ARE Christian.

    I am personally a Christian…and I know nothing about LDS. But I don’t see whats wrong with it if we’re all praising the same God the way we’re supposed to do it!

    And I’ve never found anything offensive on your blog at ALL.

    No one is perfect. That man needs to pull something out of his butt and grow up!

    Mels last blog post..Skinny Jeans

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  19. Wow. Seriously – that’s all I can think… Wow. You lasted FAR longer in that chat that I would have.

    I’m an “out” athiest, yet I have great respect for the people around me whose faith not only sustains them, but makes them into amazing people, like the kind YOU come across as, Casey, from the 1/16th of your life that the rest of us sees. πŸ™‚

    I have more respect for my LDS friends who are LIVING what they believe, than I do for my fundamentalist aquaintances who claim to believe one way, but act a whole different other way.

    You GO, girl, you GO! πŸ™‚

    PS – and I’m still using my blue plaid flannel sheets – I can’t bring myself to switch to the spring ones yet. πŸ™‚

    Katherine R. Lange-Willsons last blog post..1/19/09: One, two, three, FOUR, five…

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  20. As a non-denominational Christian myself, please let me be the first (or fiftieth) to confirm that this anonymous man does NOT speak for or represent our “club.” Two of my very closest friends in the entire world are LDS, and despite not being a member of their “club” I cherish them and am proud to witness their love for God.

    I, for one, will be praying for this man to be less judgemental and leave that job to God.

    Last I checked, the bible said the best way to convert people to loving God is by living a good, clean life and living by setting a good example. Harassing people via internet is manipulative and I liken it to trying to take someone hostage emotionally.

    The lamest part of this entire thing, is that he was not even able to articulate or communicate what his actual grievance is. Pretty sad.

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  21. I wanted to delurk on your blog, considering I mentioned on Twitter that I read you. πŸ™‚

    I admire the patience you showed in this “conversation”. You held out & stuck to your guns. I don’t think I would have bothered with this person at all, but you were honestly trying to understand where he came from.

    My sheets are a light yellow.

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  22. Seems to me that the only part of the bible he’s particularly concerned with is the part where we point out those that are “stumbling”.

    HA.

    I’m glad your denomination works for you! That’s the original idea of religions, to lead people to Christ within the cultural ideas they are already used to and comfortable.

    OF COURSE ALL RELIGIONS DON’T WORK FOR ALL PEOPLE! I don’t think they should.

    That being said, I’m a former SDA now non-denominational Christian.

    And the point IS loving others. Not telling them they are crappy Christians.

    His concern shouldn’t be with how “Christiany” YOU are, but with others that haven’t even MET Christ yet.

    Reeses last blog post..Updates

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  23. Casey, you’re a beautiful young woman, and religion is obviously important to you. There are men out there who will use whatever means they have to, in order to get your attention. Some men whistle. Some grab rear ends. This one chats up women about their faith on the ‘net under the guise of “saving” them. I doubt his motives are so pure. I think he wants the attention of a beautiful young woman.

    Don’t give him your attention.

    You’re cool with where you are, your husband is cool with where you are, and who is this yahoo to come in and try to upset your apple cart?

    Your apples are great. Give him a quarter and tell him to call someone who cares.

    As for being cheap, you are anything but!! My goodness, you have a designer laptop that matches your designer dress! πŸ™‚

    Amys last blog post..Claire Bear Turns Two

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  24. It’s funny, my best friend in high school was LDS, and to this day, when we discuss religion, NO ONE is more reasonable. I’m on a personal religions quest, but was raised Catholic, my husband is Jewish and our children most likely will be as well.

    When I told her that we were going to raise them as Jews, I expected a harsh reaction. And instead she told me that she greatly admired Judaism and knew that it was a great path towards heaven.

    Which is amazing, because my own sister (non-denominational Christian) told me that my husband and our children and subsequently me for doing this to my (HYPOTHETICAL) children are all going to hell. For, you know, being the same religion Jesus was. I know. What a bunch of hell-bound heathens we are.

    My sheets are in the wash.

    Overflowing Brains last blog post..Pain and Suffering

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  25. I am impressed. I would have never lasted that long or been so civil. People mock what they do not understand.

    BTW. My sheets are white. Makes me feel like I am at a hotel on vacation on top of the feather top!

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  26. Hey Casey!
    I don’t think I’ve commented before. I’m from Utah, non-mormon, that now lives in Texas. My sister converted to mormonism many moons ago, totally shook up the family. Anyway, just a history of myself.

    I think that what this guy was getting at is from the group of Christians out there that thinks Mormonism is a cult and they are not “saved”. I have met a lot of people here in Texas that have said that about my sister. How it just breaks their heart that my sister doesn’t understand she is going to hell.

    You handled the situation well. I totally agree with you. It is not up to us who goes where, so why should we judge? BUT, there is a huge lot of people that believe that they should judge. Christians being a huge part of them, no matter the religion and it is unfortunate.

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  27. Ok seriously my sheets are white or that old faded kinda dingy white. But I can’t stand when people argue what “you” believe and refuse to stop. I’m LDS, whatever, but in “sharing” the gospel I think the biggest thing is living it and being respectful. You handled that conversation with grace. Great job!

    Angelas last blog post..Now for a moment of morbidity

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  28. You know if someone is upset or offended by what you say and they want to unfollow you fine. I don’t see how shaming people really helps. I might say I disagree with you and wouldn’t do that or don’t believe the same way as you. (Which quite frankly I have probably thought about everyone one I know or read at some point and time.) So what to do? Crawl in a whole and ignore the whole world? Or maybe just maybe learn from each other, help each other, love each other, teach each other through example. I know it sounds trite and has been made into a joke but really What would Jesus do? Or better yet, what did Jesus do?

    For the record your honesty and humanity are the reasons I read your blog in the first place not because you are a perfect robot. I am here despite the fact that you didn’t love NM as much as I do. ; )

    White Hot Magiks last blog post..It’s tough being a…

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  29. This subject seems to be coming up a lot for me lately. This is kind of lengthy, but it’s a snippet from a recent email I wrote to a friend:
    If God is as big and wise and all-knowing as I think he is, then he knows better than do I about how to reach each of his children. Jesus is the way that God has shared himself with me. But it’s not the same way he’s shared himself with someone who is Jewish or Islamic. Who am I to say that God can’t express himself differently to different people in different cultures? God is bigger and smarter than me, and I’m going to let him be the judge. It’s not my job to try to convert people of other religions to Christianity. My focus is on maintaining a relationship with God and living my life in a way that makes him happy. My hands are pretty full with that, actually. I’m not even very good at it most of the time.

    Bridgets last blog post..Shake your WHAT?

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  30. im really glad i read that, you are very nice to him..much nicer than i would have been πŸ™‚ My sheets are black…ooohhh mysterious!!!

    Chelseys last blog post..

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  31. Thank you so much for writing this down. I actually had a disagreement with some of the older ladies in my women’s bible study about this kind of denominationalism. It saddens me.

    It tears people apart, and Christians apart when we should be coming together out of mutual love for God and Christ. It makes me really sad that Satan can work at people like that to divide them on semantics and interpretation. I mean…yeah. We have very similar views on this, and I think it was a total God thing I got to read this.

    Thank you for allowing me to be blessed by your having to deal with that adversity by posting.

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  32. This is what bothers me about being a “Christian”. Having lived through my own experience with “christians” they are some of the most judgemental people in the world.

    I personally believe that God come to all of use differently. Through different religions, people, whatever. I would never presume to tell someone that how they have met God is the wrong way or that they haven’t truly met God. It’s not my place. And I certainly wouldn’t want them judging me that way.

    Brees last blog post..Jump on the Bandwagon – Baby Hazels

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  33. OMG.
    white. my bed sheets are white. πŸ™‚

    thank you for this, i absolutely love your honesty + how freaking BRAVE you are.

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  34. Sage! And cream!!! Take that, man.

    I echo the sentiments of everyone else. You are far more patient than I. I would have given “man” the old heave-ho long before you did.

    The thing that really gets me is that there are so many Christians out there who feel it is their duty to judge others. Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure it says in the Bible to leave all of that up to Jesus.

    Lynn (Walking With Scissors)s last blog post..Mother Nature Can Suck it

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