Hi, I’m a professional not pregnant person. Nice to meet you.

I shudder every time I go out in public and someone inevitably  asks “So, what do you dooooo?”

A year ago I could leave the answer at “stay at home mom” but with the recent influx of opportunities as a result of this here blog I can’t really leave it at just mom anymore. This blogging thing can take a lot of (gratifying) work.

If nosy people could just let “I write.” be an answer my life would be a lot easier, but no. The nosy people need to know “Sooooo, what do you write about?” I guess that’s what makes them nosy as opposed to minding their own businessy.

My new doctor in charge of all things ladybits asked me the “So what do you do?” question at our first meeting, since I couldn’t redirect the question back to him since it was pretty obvious what he did and what he was about to do there was an awkward pause.

“Uh, I write about my life on the internet, given your striking resemblance to a soap opera doctor you may just make it into a post next week.”

And here he is. Just as I promised.

I’m going to need a nickname for this new doctor, because he’s going to be around a lot. Over $1,000 alone in blood tests and we haven’t even gotten to the dirty work. That comes next week. WHEE.

Oh hai, have I ever mentioned infertility is really long, exhausting, expensive, boring, and regularly anti climactic?

Taking suggestions for Dr. Soap Opera’s new nickname, he really is quite handsome, in an “I look at cervixes all day” kind of way. NO I’M SORRYS, this too shall pass in it’s own time, if I’ve learned anything it’s that. I’ve also learned how much I really like someone when I find out they’re pregnant (HI ANNA AND ERIKA! LOVE YOU AMBER!)

If you feel an incontrollable need to say “I’m sorry” tell me your favorite kind of cake instead. Mine’s chocolate, or any one from Costco. Costco cake, mmm.

Doctor Costco Cake has a nice ring…

64 thoughts on “Hi, I’m a professional not pregnant person. Nice to meet you.

  1. Because I know the actual, real live name of your doctor (yes blogging world admire me and admit to your overpowering jealousy) I think you should call him Dr. SallyForth. It works on several levels: 1-it ties in with the real name 2-You can say to yourself “Sally forth you sperm and impregnate my lovely eggs that are dying to procreate!” and 3-be honest, haven’t you always wanted to say the word sally forth? I know I have.

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  2. I just went to my first fertility doctor appointment yesterday, I swear I almost thew up when the first thing he asked was, “so how are your feelings about multiples?” Eck! I just want one baby..one not ten haha

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  3. Being re-pregnant does not automatically disqualify me from making friends with Casey! Squee! I feel like I just got un-grounded!

    I had a dentist who should have been called Dr. LadyFingers, and of course when did we switch from our gentle, soft spoken old family dentist to this new, blush-inducingly good looking, probably fewer than ten years older than me, piercingly blue eyed fellow? Why, it was immediately before I graduated high school! Way to make me dread going to the dentist, something I had never worried about before!

    Oh and for real? His actual name, I kid you not, was Dr. Peacock (to match the color of his eyes?). So if Soap Opera Doc seems to “know” that he’s All That, and you don’t like Lady Fingers, try Peacock?

    Also, there is no cake like chocolate cake.

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  4. Okay, I’ve never commented here before and you don’t know me from Adam, but I had to chime in because omg, I love grocery store cake. We don’t have Costcos around here, so for me, it’s all about Safeway cake. Not Bloom, not Giant, not Wegman’s–Safeway, all the way.

    My mother’s an awesome baker and I grew up with things like homemade cheesecake, but I can’t help it. I love that nasty fake frosting. May we never be parted.

    Talulahs last blog post..The Intertoobz Amuse Me

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  5. Love me right? Love you back, even if it wasn’t me.

    How do you search out the cute doctors? Hold interview sessions at your house? Lucky girl. Call him the first name you think of…even if it’s x-rated. 🙂

    I like cake.

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  6. As for the writing, I would just say “Freelance Writing” and if they say “what about” you can say; all kinds of things – motherhood, technology, things to do in Indiana – you name it. As for the Doctor nickname – my husband calls all OB’s “The Vagina-cologist” which always gets a titter at our house.

    Hollys last blog post..The Defiant Child

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