Prenatal Vitamins. WHAT THE?

When I get into heaven the person who invented the epidural had better be sitting on a plush golden throne with massagers and personal waiters. I will go up to them kiss their feet, offer them cake and show them my boobs. (Okay so maybe not the boobs.)

However when and if I ever come across the the MAN who came up with prenatal vitamins? I will kick him in the crotch, throw lemon juice in his eyes and run in the opposite direction. Only a man would make a woman swallow something the size of their thumb when pregnant or trying to get pregnant.

“Oh but they’re not the size of your thumb!” you say.

Whatever.
prenatals. cruel joke or not?
THUMB.
Lest you think I have teeny little thumbs lets compare the same pill to a big’ol quarter.
prenatals. cruel joke or not?

Next I had a box of samples that claimed to be small.
prenatals. cruel joke or not?
See that? SMALL FILM COATED PRENATAL VITAMINS.
My thumb says otherwise.
prenatals. cruel joke or not?
The quarter takes the pills claim of being small, gives it the bird and a big B.S. YOU STUPID PILL.
prenatals. cruel joke or not?
As if the horse pills weren’t enough there has been a new development in the prenatal vitamin front since I was pregnant.
Not one horse pill a day but TWO! BONUS!
prenatals. cruel joke or not?
prenatals. cruel joke or not?

Now back in the day I would divide my prenatal into halves, quarters, sixths, hell I’d even stick it on a toothpick and suck on it all day like lollipop. With the introduction of the horse pill’s evil gelatinous brother I’m afraid that prenatals are dead to me.

REALLY! I’m not even pregnant and the thought of swallowing these things makes me ill. 

Dear pharmaceutical companies. If the Flinstones can make a small tasty chewable vitamin when they still drive with their feet why can’t you make a tasty prenatal. SRSLY.

41 thoughts on “Prenatal Vitamins. WHAT THE?

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! I have been choking down these suckers through 7 pregnancies and they are gross. Your photos are great. Sorry I didn’t officially meet you at Blissdom, I did unofficially meet you as you were saying good-bye to some people on Sunday morning in your pjs.
    Toni

    The Happy Housewifes last blog post..Our Story ~ Part Three Or Why You Should Never Let Boys with Long Hair Take Your Daughters to the Airport

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  2. PrimaCare One prenatal vitamins by Ther-Rx may not be any smaller than the other kind, BUT:

    1) They are more like gelcaps, which I know you complained about because you can’t cut them in half, but the gelcaps at least go down smoothly due to their texture, rather than the dry, scratchy, square-cornered regular pills.

    2) There is just one per day. (they have regular unicare ones that are just like all the other two-a-days you photographed… ask for Unicare One)

    3) They put vanillin in the plastic outer coating, so not only do they not taste nasty, but they actually taste – AND smell – rather pleasant! Nice when you’re nauseous all day.

    It’s not as good as a gummy, I’ll grant you, but it’s definitely the best thing I’ve seen out there.

    Also, I know that at least the two-pill-a-day version includes a stoooool softener.

    Oh, and I just went back up and read what others wrote and apologies to Hillary… *I* would be that person. When it’s between that and the taste/smell of the B-vitamins and citric acid… that vitamin vibe makes me nauseous when I am NOT pregnant.

    Dellas last blog post..Response to HBM’s post about anger

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  3. There’s no doubt whatsoever that they are that size purely for psychological effect. The amount of whatever is in them could be provided in tiny wee things.

    Makes people feel like they are really doing something positive and constrictive when taking them.

    Unless you vomit them up, of course.

    Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Clear as mucky mind mud

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  4. I ended up comparing the amounts in the prenatals to the amounts in flinstones and just chewing a couple of those. I have heard from doctors (but haven’t seen any studies to this effect) that as tightly as they have to pack everything into those horsepills anyway, you can’t actually digest all of it. So you absorb more of what’s in the chewables anyway.

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  5. I don’t see why in this day and age they can’t just make them a liquid that is tasty like say cherry or grape cough syrup type liquid or even plain and make EVERYONE happy! SHEESH!

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  6. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. 2 Flintstones equals 1 prenatal horse pill.

    So scrap the lame-o pre-natals and go eat Fred and Dino. Same dif.

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  7. boy do i so totally agree w/ you!
    i have a hard time even swallowing a dam tylenol.

    but i discussed w/ my dr (and of course, i know everyone’s different)….
    but she said as long as i’m taking *some* vitamin, she didn’t care if it was prenatal.
    i just had to look at the iron/ folic acid.

    so i’ve taken just a plain ol’ tiny publix brand multivitamin for the better part of it. (that’s when i’d remember)

    also, i like the gummy fish of omega-3s. way better than those huge fish oil pills.

    mpotters last blog post..vividity

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  8. I hate them, too. I don’t take them. I take my regular and supplement what’s missing – mostly iron and folic acid. Those tablets are small puppies and don’t hurt going down.

    I’ve taken a powder – you can mix it into either water (not fantastic) or something like yogurt (not bad). It’s WAY better! And it was a super well formulated, healthy vitamin not filled with dyes and sugar and crap like that. I think it’s by Enzymatic Therapies.

    Heidis last blog post..Guess what?

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  9. My last prenatal vitamin was a huge horse pill the size that you are talking about and unfortunately since it had some gel coating on it you could cut them in half or fourths or eighths. This time I just bought some generic (non-prescription) prenatal vitamins from Costco. They are still just one a day which I like but I think they are half the size of my old one. 🙂 I too agree that you would think they could make tasty vitamin treats for pregnant ladies after all we go through to get pregnant and then the 10 months of being pregnant and then the aftermath of pregnancy. 🙂

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