The 36″ denial.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted ininfertility

I have this thing where I like to go into the moosh’s room at night and rock her while she’s sleeping. Kind of like that “Love You Forever” book but without all the creep. (Because that book creeped you out too didn’t it? Just a little bit? With the old lady and the grown man?) Anyway.

the moosh has not fallen asleep on me or in my arms in two years. TWO YEARS. The only chance I have to snuzzle that little sleeping ball of curls is when she’s already asleep. Trying to snuzzle an awake four year old will only end with a foot to your crotch and a knee to your neck.

Two nights ago I snuck in to hold my little kid. I picked her up, held her close and took a good long whiff of her lavender scented hair.

She sat up, looked at me, looked at her pillow, looked at me, pushed me away and curled back up on her pillow with her back to me.

DENIED!

And then I cried.

I have no little sleeping bodies left in this house to snuzzle. Sure I have Cody, but between the chest hair tickling my nose and the sounds and/or smells he emits while sleeping? Well…we’ll just leave it at that.

That lady in California had eight babies all at once when she already had six at home under seven.

I’ll tell you what, when I get to heaven I’m going to be sitting God down with a nice frothy mug of Hot Cocoa and I’m not leaving until I figure out his curious sense of irony and humor.

(Dear God, That is not an invitation to get me pregnant with octuplets. One at a time is good for me. Okay? xoxo-Casey)

46 thoughts on “The 36″ denial.”

  1. My almost-three-year-old is already anti-snuggling too. Now when I hold the baby I never want to put him down. I just told my friend last night if I didn’t hate being pregnant so much I’d have like 2000 babies. FOR TO CUDDLE.

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  6. I used to do the same thing with Jessie. I think she was three when I had almost the same thing happen. Moosh will come back around though. The problem then is she’ll be bigger but your bed won’t.

    Bennies last blog post..

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  8. Last night I went in to snuggle my 3 y/o, and she woke a little bit, squinched up her face and said, “Go away.” Sigh. I miss the snuggles too.

    And, EIGHT BABIES??? Oy.

    PsychMammas last blog post..Success

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  13. Noodle hit the anti-snuggle stage at 13 months ~ I think I cried myself to sleep for a week afterward. We spent every night of her babyhood snuggling & rocking to sleep, then that one night she decided she was done & didn’t need it anymore thankyouverymuch. I didn’t even get a vote in the matter.

    Now I refuse to put Squeaker down at night, just because I fear the snuggles will end all too soon. You want to come get in on some snuggle action at my house? This kid was born to cuddle up & sleep!! Seriously, any other activity makes her scream in anger LOL

    The woman with 14 kids … I can’t stop thinking how unfair it is to so many other girls who want just one, or just one more. God needs to explain His thinking on this one as many of His girl-children are confused today.

    Bellamommas last blog post..The first weeks as a foursome

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  14. My soon to be three year old won’t let me hold her anymore either.

    That story of that lady with 8 babies is crazy. Sometimes I think that show Jon & Kate plus 8 really is doing more harm than good. People think now it would be fun to have so many babies at once.
    Have you ever done fertility drugs? I am still praying for your baby.

    midwestmommys last blog post..Not Me Monday!

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  15. I am so glad I am not the only one that finds that book incredible creepy. I just want to yell at the woman cut the cord already, he’s like 30!

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  16. I can not even begin to tell you how upsetting that lady in California is with the 8 new babies. I am beyond shocked by those doctors. I have a whole post in the mix but I can not post it at this time because well it is not very nice.

    Those doctors should not only lose their licenses they should be 100% financially responsible for the care of those babies.

    Sorry the Moosh won’t snuggle with you. I am not a snuggler so I do understand. But sniff sniff for her mama!

    The Bossy Yankees last blog post..I am still alive…

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  17. I’ve never read the book you mentioned, but I have a boy who has never been a snuggler.

    The Monkey is five and hasn’t fallen asleep on me since he was four months old. I’m not kidding either. We took a 9 hour flight to England (and back) when he was seven months old and he didn’t sleep a wink – and that was a night flight after a whole day of not sleeping!

    The Chipmunk (eight months old) will only sleep on me if he’s thoroughly exhausted, or sick.

    I read somewhere that it’s a good sign if your kids will only sleep in their beds – it means that they are getting enough sleep to begin with and don’t feel the need to sleep whenever they can.

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  18. sometimes when you need them the most is when they totally give you the cold shoulder.

    stinks.stinks.stinks.

    oh, and the book….yikes!

    oh, and don’t think for an instant the lady got pregnant the good old fashion way….craziness.

    DesignHER Mommas last blog post..12.4" of fluffy fun

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  21. My brain doesn’t know how to process that story of the 14 kids. I chalk it up to one of those things I’ll never be able to understand.

    And yes, that book is creep-tastic.

    Rachels last blog post..Dreams

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  22. Ha ha, you’re smart to address God at the end and clarfy. ‘Cause he’s a mischievious God. And he’d do something like that.

    I’m always amazed at Hannah from the Bible who said, “God, just give me a son and I’ll give him back to you.” Do you think she knew what she was saying when she did? Could she have known the intense love of a mother before she became pregnant well enough to rationally make that decision?

    I feel for Hannah – I don’t think she realized what she was saying and I bet she struggled and grieved over sending him to the priests for years and years.

    I feel for you, Casey. My mother and I have both been where you’re at. It’s not easy. Peace to you.

    Anna Graces last blog post..A Thought on our New President

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  24. That book absolutely creeps me out. WAY out. But what creeps me out more are these sneaky little thoughts I have – wondering if my boys will let me snuggle with them when they are 35. I’m not sure theres anything I can do about it. I’ll be strapping a ladder to the roof of my car someday. That weird lady will be me.

    Hoping for small things to cuddle in your very near future.

    Carolines last blog post..Bloggers to Take On the Big Apple

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  25. My daughter still thinks it’s a treat to climb into our bed and wrap her arms around me on Saturday mornings. She loves it so much that if I roll over (so my back is to her) she crawls out of bed, walks around to the other side, and climbs in just so she can have my arms around her again.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..Buddy At Four Months

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  26. I have never felt that snuggle from my very own baby yet, and am making do with the furry, attention-demanding, wet-nosed variety! Someday, the soft, sweet-smelling cuddle will come…for us both!

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  27. Make sure you stick another chair and mug of cocoa at that table in the afterlife for me cause I’m really curious about His sense of humor and irony too.

    I love the little note to God you stuck at the end of the post. Cause you know He loves to push the ‘smite’ button on those who question His ways. 😉

    T with Honeys last blog post..WAHM for a Day

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  28. Ah, yes. But for you to be like the lady in California, you would apparently need to be “obsessed with children” and throwing caution, good sense, and rationality to the wind. Why not implant eight? (As an aside: like hell did she find a doctor who did that. Lady probably stole the fertility drugs from the clinic where she worked and injected herself.) Honestly, I just feel bad for everyone involved.

    Here’s hoping that this year YOU get a baby.

    Marins last blog post..Weekend

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  31. Wow. That is a lot of children, oh my word. I do hope that you’re blessed with another one soon. My daughter is only 21 months but has not let me snuggle her since she was a newborn. I miss snuggling too.

    Mrs. Wilsons last blog post..Celebrities!

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  32. My four-yr-old is going through a phase where he is scared to sleep by himself–
    (Why? I don’t know)
    But I had to hold him right up against me yesterday to help him sleep, even though he was IN my bed–(again, I don’t know) Now I feel guilt for resenting it–and for my super-accommodating uterus.
    ***Here’s to wishing you many, many beautiful and cuddly babies in the near future***

    Aprils last blog post..Quilting

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  36. A foot to your crotch and a knee to your neck? The moosh must be crazy flexible.

    But really, your frustration seems extremely reasonable and when you get right down to it, the lady having 14 babies under 7 isn’t fair. Not even a little.

    It’s never really comforting when anyone says this, but I’m going to say it anyways (because I’m a jerk I guess). I think there’s a bigger plan, but unfortunately, we just have to wait and see how it plays out. Even if that means suffering through crappy stuff to get to the good.

    I hope the crappy stuff passes soon.

    Overflowing Brains last blog post..Groundhog’s Day

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  38. I have a snuggly boy who is 8. I know the day will come when he no longer wants to snuggle. But now- he still asks me to lay down with him each night and say prayers and snuggle a bit.

    My 13 yo daughter on the other hand… well my last motherly effort had been braiding her hair and she no longer lets me do it unless I practically beg. She did let me braid it last week out of necessity because she was going sledding. I miss the day of fun hairstyles 😦

    PS- I’m with you on Love You Forever…it’s a little creepy. And that mom? Wondering why also…

    Mims last blog post..TaD2

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  39. I think you might appreciate Brandon’s response when he first read that book to Grant. He stopped mid-book and said, “What the hell is this book?” and rambled on and on about how crazy it was.

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  45. It is so difficult when they grow up. My nephew used to love to sit on my lap and wrap his fingers through my hair. Now he is 3 and he will only do that if he is so tired that he’s about to fall over.

    Maybe some day God will give me a little one of my own to snuggle with.

    Melissas last blog post..Ice Storm in Louisville

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  46. the moosh and Memms must be having some esp conversations at night, because Memm is doing the exact same thing to me! “I can’t cuddle, I not a baby!” Nice.

    And yes, that book, a wee bit creepy with her crawling in the window and all…but it STILL makes me cry at the end.

    Kimmies last blog post..Totally going…

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