Cheaping Beauty.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted inToo lazy to label.

I am currently writing this with the equivalent of a very tasty breakfast smeared on my face.

It involves oatmeal, sugar and a few other random things floating around my MIL’s kitchen.

Google told me how. Well, google told me to try some jojoba oil and I told google that when I step outside I smell cows and I’m awoken to a rooster every morning so therefore jojoba oil is not really a viable option from where I stand. 

Cow pies and roadkill however? Plentiful.

Anyway.

This is my face meeting up with the recession. I do not have naturally dewey glowy luminous skin, I have photoshop. I do however have naturally blotchy, zitty, puffy skin. WHEE!

I have yet to find something that works. And that’s when we had the budget that allowed me to find products that worked. (Even though they didn’t.) I used that Olay stuff that promised luminosity. I used the entire Philosophy line only to find myself with bad skin and without a lot of money. I failed with Proactive and pretty much the only time I came close to lovely skin is when I washed my face with snow for a week.

Seriously.

And then the snow melted and I was out of luck.

So here I sit, with Quaker Oats on my face. (Not even from a tub, they’re from an instant baggie. *sigh*)

I’m thinking back on all the dumb things I’ve done for beauty.

Mayo in my hair? Check.

Eggs in my hair? Check.

Cooking oil on my face? Check.

Beer in my hair AND on my face? Check.

Rock salt as a scrub? I’m pretty sure sliding down a razor naked would hurt less.

So tell me, have you ever done anything dumb for beauty? Do you have any suggestions of things I can make out of food storage that will give me the dewey luminous skin I dream of?

My, uh, “mask?” Starting to burn.

Stay tuned…

55 thoughts on “Cheaping Beauty.”

  1. My mother used to steam our faces. She’d heat a pot of water to not-quite-boiling, and throw in these herbs, which certainly included eucalyptus among other things, and let them steep for a minute. And then when the steam was still hot but not scalding, we could put our faces over the pot of water, with a towel draped over our head, neck and the pot. Stay that way, breathing the steam, until there is no more steam. It leaves your skin smooth smooth smooth. I remember this vividly, and just recently sat in a steam room that used eucalyptus in its water, and my skin came out glowing and gorgeous (which it never is). So I think it’s worth a try. (Even if you don’t have eucalyptus in your pantry, you can certainly order it online for cheap.) It’s worth a try.

    MommyTimes last blog post..That’s My Girl

    Like

    Reply

  2. My mom (a former beautician pre-children) heard from a friend that rinsing your hair with vinegar diluted with water helped get all the gunk left from hairspray, gel, etc out of your hair. She tried it on me during my junior high years (before I started that “Don’t even think about coming near my hair” stage). Shampoo as usual then rinse with a combo of vinegar/water.

    I have to say that it did leave my hair very silky and manageable. The trade-off was an occassional whiff of vinegar whenever I tossed my hair over my shoulder, but I was in junior high so I just added a little extra Baby Soft to mask the smell.

    the mrs.s last blog post..Let It Snow

    Like

    Reply

  3. 2004:
    Desire to be a redhead + need for instant gratification + blonde hair = PINK.

    (Lesson learned; I now pay an extremely talented gay man in broad ripple to do it up right.)

    You probably didn’t intend for my skincare advice but I feel so strongly about Origins Clean Energy Cleansing Oil that I must sing its praises in a public forum. (I know, you’re thinking, OIL to CLEAN the FACE? But seriously. Seriously. Say goodbye to “diffuse glow” FOREVER.)

    Jenns last blog post..I Once Was Lost..

    Like

    Reply

  5. I second the vinegar hair rinse. And I actually wash my hair with Baking Soda! Well, I wash the roots at least. It gets the grease out. Then I rinse with vinegar. I *LOVE* how my hair feels now! And for a cereal size box of Baking Soda it only costs me $2.50! I think a gallon of vinegar is similar. Talk about savings!!
    For the face, I really like honey masks. Just put a thin layer of honey on a freshly washed face & let it soak on for 15 minutes. Rinse off, dry, tone if you want, & moisturize. I like to use Witch Hazel for toner. My kids love to poke my honey face & lick their fingers. Sneaky little buggers!

    Like

    Reply

  6. I have black hair. Not brown, not dark brown – black. During my 4 year stint in Southern California I was overcome by the urge to dye it blonde. Snow white skin, black eyebrows and blonde equals the opposite of cute. Hello, Heather Locklear.

    As for the skin – I wear unholy amounts of makeup for my job and I use mainly drugstore products to keep my skin from disaster. A scrub like St.Ives, Cetaphil cleanser and Neutrogena moisturizer. Once or twice a week I use Juice Beauty’s Green Apple Peel (found at Sephora) to get all the gunk off and make my skin soft and glowy. It costs about 40 bucks a jar but lasts me about 6 months. I’ve even put it on a monster zit overnight – and woken up zit free in the a.m. It’s truly miraculous.

    Like

    Reply

  7. I know you’ve heard this one probably a million times, but water and sleep are your best beauty weapons.
    Because of the climate here in Israel, I drink 4 Liters of water a day (and pee constantly) but my skin is nice! I usually have oily, pimply skin, along with greasy, greasy hair. I also shower less in the winter, which actually helps if you can stick with it for the first 2 weeks or so.

    Rabbi’s Wifes last blog post..On going back to America

    Like

    Reply

  8. my latest miracle find is witch hazel….costs $2 a bottle and is found in the pharmacy next to the rubbing alcohol. It restores the ph balance of the skin. I use it for my face every day. It gets rid of acne AND takes care of the dry patches on my face. I also spritz it on my hair after I shower and it gets rid of my dry scalp.

    Like

    Reply

  9. soak cotton balls discs ( you the the cottony thingies that are flat) for 2 hrs in milk in the fridge and then squeeze out from of the liquid and place over closed eyes, works well for me for reduceing puffy eyes and leaving eye area smooth

    Liam Craigs last blog post..Music

    Like

    Reply

  11. I make bath and body products for a living currently. If you have splotchy/problem skin, jojoba oil is not for you anyway.

    You can exfoliate with a mixture of brown sugar, and EVOO (I assume you have this in the house) just blend it to your desired consistency add to wet skin, gently massage into your face, rinse with cold water and pat dry. Sweet almond oil would be a better choice because its a non clogging oil.

    Also, if you have a local farmers market, check them out for soap makers and see if they have a goats milk and charcoal soap. Great for problem skin. Sucks up the toxins etc. I make one, but I’m in Canada, you can probably find someone local.

    Otherwise, a good handmade soap as part of your beauty regime is the best thing you can do. We are all *convinced* that we need fancy creams and shit, but we don’t. Genetics, good nutrition and simple skin care are the trifecta of beautiful skin.

    Jennifers last blog post..The Five Question Meme.

    Like

    Reply

  12. If you have plain old aspirin around the house you can make it into a mask for your skin. crush two or three tablets and add just enough water to make a paste. Spread it on your skin and allow it to dry. the aspirin contains a high concentration of salicylic acid which is an exfoliant. Your skin will be smooth, smooth, smooth.

    Like

    Reply

  13. I have horrible skin as well. Not only do I break out still, at 30, but it’s this weird combo of super oily and flaky at the same time!

    I still have no idea how to stop the breakouts, but this winter I’ve been trying something new with my makeup to at least help with the texture of my skin. I recently tried this foundation and I really like it http://www.revlon.com/productcatalog/productdetails.aspx?productid=15
    but I also mix it with a dab of lotion before painting it on. My skin has been way less flaky and looked a lot better. I also find that running the humidifier helps with the dry skin!

    jeanelles last blog post..Christmas Cards

    Like

    Reply

  16. I love using honey and brown sugar to scrub my face (but could use it anywhere).you take some brown sugar and mix in enough honey so that you can smooth it onto your face. (really-only do this when you are in the shower or planning one)It should be VERY thick and sticky. sort of… the thickness of cookie batter almost.. well maybe not that thick but almost..anyway… scrub your face with it for a while then rinse off and voila…..the softest skin you’ve had in years…seriously. baby butt soft.

    Like

    Reply

  18. I second the honey & brown sugar scrub. You can also make an egg-white mask (tightens up pores)but I’d do it sort of reclining in the tub.

    On the bottom shelf at Walgreens/CVS there is a brand call Queen Helene. They have this mint julep mask (think green thick & gloopy). It is basically mint & clay and that stuff cleans my skin out like nobody’s business. And I think it costs about…$3.

    I’m also a big fan of tea tree oil for clearing up individual zits. I get it at Whole Foods (maybe around $10 a bottle?) but it lasts a looong time.

    Daisys last blog post..I Dream A Dream…

    Like

    Reply

  21. I can’t recall anything too crazy i’ve done, but maybe the fact that i try just about every skincare method out there is reason enough. Currently, I take meds to clear up my acne, apply a topical treatment, a on-the-spot treatment, tea-tree oil and moisturizer to help keep my skin soft in these dry winter days. Wow, looking at that, it’s no wonder my skin hates me.

    I used to apply Vitamin E oil before i went to bed and it worked really well, but ruined my poor pillows, so i don’t use that anymore.

    Like

    Reply

  22. I’ve put mayo and coffee grinds in my hair at the same time. It was supposed to make it shine but all it really did was create a smell that made me sick to my stomach.

    I recently heard that putting vodka into dry hair and then rinsing is supposed to help with humidity frizz, haven’t tried it yet tho…

    Like

    Reply

  23. I’ve used proactiv for about ten years, mostly successfully, but even so I have to use other things a couple times a week instead. I also need a pretty heavy duty scrub about once a week and I keep finding good ones and then they get discontinued. I have some great body scrubs that have big crystals in them, but they all have things like eucalyptus in them that would be hell in the eyes…

    Reeses last blog post..Work

    Like

    Reply

  26. I’m 26, and after 4 or so years of great skin, it’s revolted on me the last six months. Thus, because of my stupid girl-jealousy, I always was envious of your perfect skin in your pics – I need to learn Photoshop, I guess. This post makes it much easier for me to like you, which I wanted to, anyway. 🙂 I have done a million crazy things out of the kitchen for beauty, especially when I was a teenager – yogurt, oatmeal, honey, I can’t even remember all the rest. I did just dye my “betty” (to use the dye brand’s term); my husband wasn’t as surprised as I thought he would be. I’ve also tried the more expensive stuff that my mom has bought me, which sort of worked, but not for more than a month. I’m currently lusting after the Thermaclear or Zeno, but, alas, the law student budget does not support such expenditures.

    Like

    Reply

  27. I wash my face with Olive Oil everyday. And I use it as my moisturizer. If you want to know the whole process let me know and I can post what I do.

    I love it my face breaks out less and my blackheads disappear. It is amazing.

    If your skin is oily or dry it does not matter it works on all skin types.

    Like

    Reply

  28. it is so fun to read through all these comments. Very funny many of them.
    My initial thought is, if you have all the acne and you are not a teen, do you have a hormonal imbalance that you need to have checked like maybe thyroid? Just suggesting.
    If nothing else, I learned what to do for my dry scalp. 🙂
    oh and I would try the witch hazle thing, why not you know?

    Like

    Reply

  29. I love reading all these comments! I used toothpaste on my zits for months. Surprising that it only made it worse? I have awful skin as well, and used really abrasive products thinking it would help my skin. But I LOVE the products from greenvalleyspa.com. It is all natural and has done wonders for my skin.

    Like

    Reply

  30. Hi!
    I love your blog – I have for a while now.

    Anyway…I had the same problem!!!! Then I came across The Body Shop. Let me tell you – it all works. I even sell it now. Give it a try. It doesn’t bleach towels like Procraptiv does!

    Seriously, I tried using products from the The Body Shop because they are all natural AND eco-friendly (bonus!) and most importantly, they work. No gimmicks. Give it a try.

    Feel free to write if you have any questions about it and GOOD LUCK in your quest!…laurelashley@live.com

    Like

    Reply

  31. Proactive didn’t work for me either. And neither did birth control pills. However, my doctor said that my birth control pills with a combination of some sort of water pills should solve the problem. I’m not getting my hopes up though.

    Olivias last blog post..TA DA!

    Like

    Reply

  33. Dood, i have tried everything. EVERYTHING.

    I still struggle. Something will work for a while and then stop working. I drink a boat load of water every day and it doesn’t seem to make it better or worse.

    I just got used to rotating out the various things already suggested.

    I have heard that for oily skin, cleaning it with oil actually balances it out.

    I have combo, oily t-zone and super dry every where else.

    Thanks mom and dad…

    Britts last blog post..The Season of Giving

    Like

    Reply

  34. I’ve used fish oil for dry skin and eczema on the face… not cool… my daughter smelt like dead fish for like 3 days. Showers and baths didn’t even take it away. I’ll stick to vasaline!

    Like

    Reply

  35. I am not sure what old macaroni noodles, canned food, and chlorinated water will do to make your skin beautimous, but I have put
    baby lotion, Vaseline, and olive oil in my hair, as well as made a mask out of honey and oatmeal, and who hasn’t scrubbed their body with sugar? But the biggest beauty disastor I have endured yet can be found here:

    Hairstory

    Emily the Utah transplant from the Midwests last blog post..Uncle Sam? I WIN!!!

    Like

    Reply

  37. I’ve heard that the super-cheap clay kitty litter makes a good mud mask. Haven’t tried it myself, so can’t tell you how it works.

    Worst beauty mistake? I entrusted my locks to an Asian woman with… *interesting* taste 4 months before I got married. I looked anime-minus-the-blue for ages & had to hunt a hairpiece to fill out my ‘do for the wedding.

    Like

    Reply

  38. How did I just discover your site today? I am enjoying going through your archives. You are one awesome woman.

    I have the same skin problem – and use the same photoshop solution, hahaha. Gotta love the clone stamp (and healing bandaid and patch).

    Outside of computer aid, two things have worked for me: a. Accutane and b. the last trimester of pregnancy. They both suck.

    I haven’t done mayo in the hair…but I’ve done mayo on the face. Yes, spread Miracle Whip all over your face, let it set, and then rub your face over a paper towel or bowl – chunks of mayo-covered dead skin will come off in little balls. It’s disgusting and as stinky as it sounds, but it makes the skin more luminesque.

    ameliorate mes last blog post..Did Santa not get the memo about RSV?

    Like

    Reply

  39. My skin is that of a 13 year old boy. In so many words.

    I spent $150 on some really expensive crap that was ‘guarantee’ to work. Nope. Worked just the same as all the other stuff like Neutrogena, Proativ, Dove, etc. that do nothing.

    My next step is the dreaded Accutane.

    Like

    Reply

  41. I have tried everything and I am the same as you. I have alright skin but nothing all that great. Clinique worked for a bit but then stopped. What do I use now? Dove Bar Soap for 3Bux for 2 bars. Moisturizer still have not found one that I like but I am looking…

    Like

    Reply

  42. Hi! I’m an Indy gal also and the weather is so mean to my skin. Check out cosmeticscop.com. Paula Begeon is awesome! She has a website, beautypedia.com, that recommends fantastic products for your skin type, plus sells her own. She is the ONLY skin care line I know of that recommends other products in addition to her own. Good luck!

    Like

    Reply

  43. Like everyone else I’m so relieved to know that you’re not perfect! Seeing all your pictures I thought you were. I need to get that Photoshop thing so I can look as good as you do in your pictures, too.

    I also have really oily, blackhead filled, nasty pimply skin. It’s much better than it was when I was in high school, but I think that has a lot to do with being on the pill no as opposed to not back then. Stupid hormones. I also use Retin-A at night from the dermatologist. She wants me to be on an oral antibiotic, too, but won’t prescribe because of the pill. Sucks to be me.

    I’ve tried everything, too. I currently have 4 bottles of face cleansers sitting next to my sink. I have to say, I really like the olive oil cleanser from St. Ives. That combined with the Apricot Scrub (also by St. Ives) makes my skin very soft for about a day and a half.

    Daily I use Proactiv, which works sometimes, to cleanse and Aveeno Calming Lotion to moisturize.

    I’ve heard that taking zinc once a day can dry up oily skin, and I tried it. I remember it working, but then I quit my job where I could get it at cost and stopped taking it. Plus it’s hard enough for me to remember to take one med every day. Two is next to impossible!

    If you find anything that works, be sure to pass it my way! I’m desperate! Plus, I’m starting a ‘real job’ in January that will require me to wear make up on a daily basis. I’m very nervous about what this will do to my skin :-/

    Katies last blog post..is that your final answer?

    Like

    Reply

  44. I heard this on NPR once – the person, who was so tired of all the junk she put on her face, decided to stop using ALL products on her entire body. No soap, shampoo, deodorant, perfume, etc. After a month she noticed her skin was dewy and beautiful. All she did was rinse it with water. I tried it and it totally worked for me. I still used products on my body, just not my face. It’s cheap and worth a try for you! 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  45. I remember the crappy peel-off masks that felt like I was waxing my face!!!

    I have had annoying acne and dull skin for years until I saved up my money and went to Turkle & Associates on Meridian. They are an hour and a half drive for me but I had a consultation ($25) and an acne facial and was told to use skinceuticals and jan marini products. I can vouch they werent kidding!! It worked !! I just have to remind myself and my self esteem that it’s cheaper to do this and better than what I was on before….antidepressants and alcohol.

    Like

    Reply

  47. I wrote an article on reusing old coffee grounds, which are a newable resource in my crazed powered by coffee life. The coffee grounds as a body scrub idea worked great! The coffee grounds as a hair/scalp conditioner was awful. It took forever to rinse the grounds out of my hair and left the shower a mess.

    BTW, I have skin issues too and tried a lot of things with little to no success. finally I saw my family doctor about it and she gave me a prescription cream that worked.

    condo bluess last blog post..15 Habits That Lower Winter Utility Bills

    Like

    Reply

  50. I’ve been doing the olive oil thing for several weeks now, and really like it, though my skin wasn’t too bad before. It has tightened up the enormous pours/blackheads on my nose considerably, and it seems to give me the perfect balance of moisture. (I do add a bit to leave on after washing the first off, as an extra moisturizer.)

    And fun college roommates did the mayo thing to my hair too. Uck! I’m pretty sure high school days found me with egg on the face as well.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Carolyn Cancel reply