mortimooshcation.

I know there’s a lot of you who read this stuff. Big people, little people, people who swear, old people, young people, church people, drunk people, dog people, cat people, important people, even people who don’t stop and say hi when they see me in Costco. (I’m looking at you Jenn.)

I’m never really embarrassed knowing that you know what you know about me.

And trust me, I should be embarrassed.

I recently had an article published in a real! live! magazine! where the journalist got the age of the moosh wrong but BOY HOWDY! did he get the orgasm on the treadmill part right. Oh well. (I did keep it from the tender judgemental eyes of my grandparents however.)

Shortly after my Brazilian experience the moosh announced to my step dad “HEY GUESS WHAT GRAMPA POOPSIE? ALL MY MOM’S HAIR FELL OUT OF HER BUM!”

Unfortunately I am not immune to real live embarrassment at the mercy of a three year old.

Another time the moosh asked my MIL about her panties (because panties are always a topic of discussion with the moosh around.) My MIL told her that she wore the same white panties as I do.

the moosh then proceeded to tell my MIL and FIL that “MY MOM HAS PINK POLKA DOT PANTIES WITH A WHITE PUPPY ON THEM. SHE WEARS THEM A LOT.”

OY.

I think while I’m here in Utah I’ll check in on the hospital where the moosh was born to see if my pride is in the lost and found.

35 thoughts on “mortimooshcation.

  1. Haha. Kids are honest. Way too honest.

    Reminds me of my friend’s daughter saying “Chonies! Chonies, chonies chonies” Followed by our friend Clay asking “What’s chonies?” So she lifter her skirt and showed him. Hee-larious. Well you asked.

    Enjoy Utah.

    JachiCues last blog post..Whaa?

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  2. I am sooo sorry but I am sitting here giggling my heart out.

    Hope your having a faboo time to the great UT!!!!

    Tell that great Wasatch front I am soooooo missing it!!!

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  3. I foolishly published my most embarrassing moment (involving accidentally making the motion of a handjob at a fancy dinner) as a guest-post on a blog that gets A LOT more traffic than my own (still wondering how I came to be a guest-blogger there) and I still get people commenting about it.

    Why isn’t there someone on the computer to stop me from publishing things like that?

    I know my mother is going to come across it someday and drop dead from embarrassment. I don’t even need kids to help me out, I provide endless embarrassment to myself.

    Overflowing Brains last blog post..Is it still paranoia if it’s happened before?

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  4. You are very brave. I am glad you share so much with us… I feel that I know you well enough to acknowledge you in Costco!

    P.S. It is cold here – stay in California.

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  5. You can check, but it won’t be there.

    Once when my daughter was 4 she told a male acquaintence of mine, a guy I had a class with, that “Mommy is wearing her pretty pink underwear today.”

    There is nothing you can say – just nothing will make a smooth transistion out of that place. I still die a little thinking about it.

    Amys last blog post..Monkeys and Bears Need Cages

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  6. Well I hope you’re not talking about ME Jenn, because I don’t have a Costco membership. But if I did, and I saw you, I’d probably squeal and drop my 40-gallon jar of pickles.

    Jenns last blog post..5 Friends.

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  7. wow…don’t know what went wrong with my comment there…

    i can only imagine what she’ll be like as a teenager!

    and seriously…you’re in utah, i’m in utah…i would love to meet you.

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  8. Haha no pride in the lost and found at any hospital I’ve heard of! When I was in the hospital for 3 days just about 1 year ago, my aunt (who worked for years at Mass General in Boston and knows a thing or two about hospitals!) told me when you go to the hospital, check your pride & dignity at the door! And then, well, you’re never quite the same…

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  9. Hey, welcome back to Zion friend. I hope you have a great stay!

    And, yeah, kids just say the best things. No way to keep a secret when kids are around. They just do that.

    Happy thanksgiving next week.

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  10. Well leave it to a kid to embarrass ya!

    I blogged forever and my family and friends read so I finally gave up on it and moved to a new location. I kinda like not everyone I know reading me because I did find myself explaining myself more than I wanted.

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  11. You’ll find Pride filed next to Dignity in the records room. Head down the hallway past Mortification and Humility, turn left at the corner that houses Embarrassment and you’ll find yourself standing in front of a locked cupboard holding the Pride & Dignity that belongs to every mother out there.

    Let me know if you find mine!

    Mad Womans last blog post..Motel Mayhem – Starring……..

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