Crazy Sober Mormons.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted inI'm a Mormon!

I don’t drink. Used to. Don’t anymore. In my choice of religion we are commanded to follow the Word of Wisdom. The word of wisdom basically breaks down to “eat stuff that’s good for you, avoid the stuff that’s bad for you.” Included in the list of things which are good for you are fruits, vegetables, whole grains and meat (in moderation). Duh. The things that fall under the “bad” category are alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea.

(By the way, to any new readers, HI! I’m a Mormon. If you hate Mormons, kindly keep your mean emails and comments to yourself and just click away, hit unsubscribe and forget that 12,000,000 of us share the same planet as you. kthxbai)

So there you go. I don’t drink. That isn’t to say that I never drank, because WHOO did I drink. And you know what? It really isn’t for me. With my depression and inability to control myself as a hot drunken mess it’s really just better that I don’t. So even if it weren’t for the religious direction not to drink, I still wouldn’t drink. Same with cigarettes, tried one once, gagged and vomited in my mouth a little. Plus I spend a lot of money to smell good, why waste all that effort? As for the coffee and tea? I’ve had one sip of coffee in my entire life. Totally not for me. Icky. Tea? I broke down and tried some “magical” ginger tea whilst I was pregnat. Let’s just say that vomiting up ginger tea solidified my passionate hatred for all things ginger.

So that brings us to BlogHer, where the liquor and coffee flow pretty freely. I won’t be drinking any of it. However, I’ll probably be keeping a Shirley Temple and hot chocolate count somewhere in my sidebar. I personally am a lot more fun sober. Although when you see me dance, you may wonder if I didn’t take a little nip when no one was looking.

Are you worried I’ll be talking to you all the while silently judging you and condemning you to hell for that gin and tonic in your hands?

Depends. Are you going to be accosting me insisting that I shove liquor down my throat, calling me a big holier than thou sissypants sissy for not drinking?

No? Didn’t think so. Just as I know you will respect my reasons for not drinking, I wholly respect your decision to drink. You’re a big girl, you can handle yourself. So assuming Shirley Temples are free, I’ll have a few drink tickets up for grabs.

See you in 19 days ladies.

41 thoughts on “Crazy Sober Mormons.”

  1. I don’t get the no coffee and tea thing. Alcohol and tabacco I understand.

    BTW, I don’t drink coffee either. Can’t stand it, but I do like tea, hot or cold, different types.

    I rarely drink alcohol but really don’t like being out of control and making a goof of myself. I was always the designated drivers among my friends. :o)

    Oh, and I’ve never smoked a day in my life but hubby does, and god I wish he would stop. I hate smoking.

    Rheas last blog post..This Critter Crashed a Bachelorette Party – Camera Critters

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  3. I’m thinking it will be a good thing if SOMEONE at BlogHer is sober!

    (I play it up like I’m a huge drunk – and I do like to drink – but I am such a lightweight that anything beyond two drinks has my all head-spinny and regretting being alive. Yeah, I am so much fun at a party).

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  4. Hey! I met you at church today. You told me about the “Savvy Source” blog you write for and I looked it up but the site wouldn’t show up. This is the only thing that came up. So here I am. Cute blog! You are a clever, witty writer. No wonder you were hired to write. I will invite you to mine on Blogger (it’s private). See ya around!

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  6. Good for you! Personally, I JUST started liking coffee two months ago, how weird is that? 39 years and nothing, now LOVE? ~shakes head~

    Tea I hate in any shape or form. Who knows tho, tomorrow I may love it.

    Oh and I learned that it’s not the liquor in the Mike’s Hard Lemonade it’s the lemon flavor I love, who knew! Now I drink sugar free lemonade all day and never crave a Mike’s. Odd?!

    Now the merlot…that’s for the buzz, cuz 1/2 cup and I’m under the table.

    Chocolate is not a sinful food? Well HALLELUJIAH!!! Please tell God to remove all that UNSINFULNESS from my thighs, will ya…mmmkay? thx

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  12. I would never make someone feel bad about not drinking. That’s totally your choice, and good for you for sticking to your beliefs.

    As for me? I don’t drink very often, but enjoy those few chances I get. And I apparently have the liver of an 80-year old Irishman, so I’m anything but a lightweight.

    (PS – I had to pay drink tickets for non-alcoholic drinks last year. Grrr…)

    Christinas last blog post..Haiku Friday: Potty Talk

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  13. I understand how you feel. I can’t tell you how many times my driking frineds try to tell me why I’m wrong. I guess they’re not really friends after all….

    I don’t care if you drink, just take my “No thanks” and move on….

    Good luck at blogher. I hope we will still hear from you when you’re on your trip.

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  14. I think it’s awesome that you are putting it all out there and “standing up for yourself,” so to speak. Not that you have to, I would hope, in a room full of supportive, loving women, but I know that the no drinking guideline can be misunderstood.

    (I do love sweet tea though. I think it’s a good thing I am Baptist. We invented sweet tea.)

    Kims last blog post..Dear the moosh, please Whoorl my hair. Please?

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  18. i don’t drink either…not really religious reasons though. we work for a conservative company, and they ask us not to. so we don’t. there are times though…times when i think a margarita might solve all the world’s problems. thankfully they are few and far between! have fun at blogher!

    natalies last blog post..Monday morning ramblings

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  19. I’m Greek Orthodox, and we have fasting periods where we don’t eat meat or dairy or drink alcohol. This includes every Wednesday and Friday and the 40 days before Easter. It’s not easy being different from the crowd. I’ve had to decline salads because they had cheese on them (who puts cheese on salads anyway?) so I know exactly what you’re talking about. I certainly don’t judge others for drinking, but it’s hard to understand why they feel the need to put such pressure on me.

    Nice to meet you. I surfed over from fussy’s blog.

    threeundertwos last blog post..About Dinner

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  20. The older I get (25 damn I’m old) the more respect I have for people who don’t imbibe. I drink so much less after having children and I now see how crazy pyscho I acted when drunk. But my hubby can handle it fine so to each their own. Good for you Casey. I also have a cousin in-law who is a Mormon from Salt Lake and has moved down here to Arkansas with all us Baptists. Poor guy.

    Ashleys last blog post..Communication Breakdown

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  21. I am still not 100% positive I can go, but if I do, I’ll sit with you cuz, I don’t drink either. No religion, no depression (well, not officially), just choice.

    DO they have dessert tickets? I’ll gladly trade my drink ticket for a dessert ticket. LOL

    Adriennes last blog post..Loading Zone Only

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  22. I have a question for ya, if you feel like answering. What is it about tea and coffee that are bad? The caffeine? Can you drink herbal teas? Or decaf?
    And if it is the caffeine, does that mean chocolate is out? Someone once told me that Mormons don’t do chocolate, which I find hard to believe from your pictures of yummy baking.

    mrs. mustards last blog post..I’ll take R 4 Q Q Q and the batman symbol

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  23. Stumbled back this way thanks to BlogNosh – a friend at WorkingMomsAgainstGuilt (Tela) sung your praises and then I lost you.

    Now I’ve found you again and can’t stop laughing.

    Can’t wait to meet you at BlogHer!

    Amy In Ohios last blog post..I Heart Kate

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  26. mrs. mustard-
    It’s the tannic acid in tea and coffee that’s advised against not the caffeine, so chocolate and herbal tea are game on.

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  27. Casey, that’s crazy about the coffee/tea thing. I actually read ALL the comments trying to get an answer. And I just so happened to learn about tannic acid on my vacation a few weeks ago! (That’s why the WI River is so dark. :))

    Does that mean you can’t drink colas, too?

    Sorry if I seem nosy, I’d never realized that they were taboo before.

    Butrfly Gardens last blog post..Answer You Anything! Part Two.

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  28. Good for you..I do not know why people have to drink to have fun. Though I am a coffee addict. I found your blog through Blog Nosh. Loved the piece that they featured. I will be back for the Sunday of Blogher. On a family vacation so I miss the conference every year.

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  33. I long ago promised my drink tickets to Heather B. 😉 I may not be attending church, but drinking and I do NOT get along. So I will join you on the sober couch.

    Loralees last blog post..INIGO: Fezzik! Fezzik! Listen! Do you hear? That is the sound of Ultimate Suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen slaughtered my father. The man in black makes it now. FEZZIK: The man in black? INIGO: His true love is marrying another tonight. So who else has the cause for Ultimate Suffering?

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  37. Wow, I didn’t know you were Mormon. I find the lds so fascinating – probably because it’s reminds me of Catholicism – my religion of choice – with all the ceremony and stuff but more modern.

    So do you think the lds church will ever change their stance on alcohol now that some kinds may be proven to be healthy for us in moderation?

    Just asking, so don’t feel like you have to defend your religion. (Lord knows I did enough of that living in The South where my religion equals going to hell.)

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  40. Soooo did you give away your drink tickets? Because I’m collecting them you know for my lush ways.

    I love that we can still be friends even though I’m a huge lush and you aren’t.

    Or at least that’s what I think might happen. We’ll still be friends, right? RIGHT?

    Hey remember that time we had crushes on each other and we didn’t even know it? Good times. Remember that when you’re thinking about disowning me as a friend. 😉

    Heather B.s last blog post..Perfect Timing

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  41. Holy crap…I was so afraid about this whole thing at last year’s BlogHer…I was SURE I would be the only person not drinking there and everyone would point and laugh at me.

    And while they did point and laugh at me, it had nothing to do with the fact that I was sober!

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