Ten Mormons in a Wine Cellar.

Say hello to the Dentist and Attorneys of the class of 2008.

Future Lawyers of America

(Except for the really pregnant one and the one with me, they’re the attorneys of the class of 2009. *grumble* one more year *grumble*)

We all went out to treat ourselves to fancy dinner before heading off to different corners of the Nation to become grownups. (snicker) Our reservation was at what I think is the most famous steakhouse in Indiana. Imagine our surprise when they led us down into the basement to our private table in the wine cellar.

We’re all Mormon. None of us drink. Instead of giddy anticipation we were all overcome with a general sense of confusion at our surroundings. Me being the not wine drinker that I am badgered our waiter with all sorts of wine related questions (after I ordered a Coke of course)

“What’s the oldest bottle in here?” I asked

“That would be the 1902 blah blah something in French blah blah over here that sells for $8,500.”

Really Old Wine

Folks, that right there is a bottle of hundred and five year old wine that is worth half a semester of Law School.

Then I learned about the limited edition bottle of champagne that is promised to the owner of the Dallas Cowboys if it doesn’t sell by January 2009. It was only $8,000. And it came with a fancy box. That locked.

Champagne Pony

Then came the menu. The hunks of beef at this place weren’t cheap. BUT WHOO, they were good. (Sorry PETA)

Prime Rib

I had prime rib. I had 32 oz. of prime rib. I ate 1/60th of my weight in cow.

Does anybody know about the legend of the tomato juice? No?

Well supposedly steak houses at the turn of the century would serve you a glass of tomato juice as an palate cleanser and to aid in digestion. The tomato juice supposedly helps your body digest steak. Did I say supposedly? IT TOTALLY DOES. Someone my size who is used to eating string cheese and Cheetos should have been miserable after that much cow. But I felt just dandy. Even Cody, the self proclaimed meat eating champion of 2000 couldn’t even keep up with me.

Legend of the Tomato Juice

If I was anemic before Saturday night, I guarantee I’m not anymore.

Steak Eaters

So that was our dinner.

I’d be letting you down if I didn’t tell you what the server’s face looked like when he realized that the enormous table IN THE WINE CELLAR ordered nothing but water, Coke and lemonade.

It was somewhere between a kid who got coal in his stocking on Christmas and someone who’d just been told his Pony Christol had died.

34 thoughts on “Ten Mormons in a Wine Cellar.

  1. How can I be first?

    I almost feel sorry for the dude. But I bet the pony cost way too much to room and board, so I’m sure he’s better off.

    Dude, we make jokes about how our firm’s life insurer would go out of business if our building spontaneously combusted.

    LawyerMama’s last blog post..For Jenny, The Bloggess

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  2. I’m trying not to think about the fact that a guy spend as much money on a bottle of Champagne as I would to pay off my car.

    Dude.

    And while the steak sounds lovely, I would much rather have one of your cakes.

    (Am I sounding like a broken record lately?)

    Loralee’s last blog post..The end of the Diet Coke drought

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  3. Haha… you ordered COKE? GASP. That is a major Mormon faux-pas ’round these parts. Back when I was still LDS I ordered a coke when I was out with some LDS friends and you should have SEEN the way the entire table stopped to glare at me! Hee hee… such a trouble maker I am, drinking COKE. 😀

    Also? 8500$ for HALF a semester of law school? YEEPS. You should have come to Canada! My husband’s tuition is only (yeah, ONLY… heh) $15,000/year. Not too shabby for tuition at one of the best law schools in Canadialand!

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  4. Someone tried telling me that Mormons don’t eat chocolate. How hilarious is that? I directed them to the cake recipe on your blog. 🙂 Misconceptions abound, this I know, but c’mon! Chocolate?? Sheesh. He was probably bummed because when people buy booze with dinner, they tip more both because they’re intoxicated and because booze is pricey, which drives up the bill.

    Casey’s last blog post..Shamrock

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  5. This place sounds (and looks yummy), but you left out the name. I need a good place when I go to Indiaina. ANything is better than my sisters cookin’. And then we will just swing by for some CHocolate cake…………

    Adrienne’s last blog post..Some Bunny Loves You!

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  6. Yummy! Was it as good as Ruby River? I LOVE that place. Course the one we always went to is in Ogden, not even sure they have one down in your parts.
    So is THAT where the $600+ dinner bill came from? SWEET!

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  7. Ha ha I always figure waiters are disappointed when me and my Mormon friends all order water with lemon and/or raspberry lemonades.

    And a 32 oz steak???? I am so impressed.

    Anth’s last blog post..Weekend Recap

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  8. Oooh…St. Elmo’s. I haven’t ever eaten there, but I dream of it!! We went to Ruth’s Chris (you know, the other insanely expensive red meat place in indy) for a company party a little over a year ago…next time they need to take us to St. Elmo’s *lol*

    Now wait…You…YOU got a 32oz steak into that tiny body!! I am SO jealous! Sheesh.

    But thanks for the tomato juice tip. I’ll express it to my hubby who ADORES red meat, but who’s stomach does not like it very much 😉

    Sadie’s last blog post..I’ll count my blessings instead of sheep…

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  9. I know how you feel. Try being a diabetic mormon lawyer wannabe on a boat in the Hudson River. The only thing onboard for you to drink is Diet Coke and the fat secretaries already took all three of them.

    (my husband’s story not mine)

    good&crazy’s last blog post..Would you like to try…

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  10. Last winter we took our oldest son to Indianapolis for his first Colts game … and I had by far the most awesome dinner EVER at St. Elmo’s … and the highlight of the night was watching our then-9 year old inhale a shrimp that he slathered with their cocktail sauce!

    Thanks for the great post!

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