I’d like to introduce you to my bed.
Upon further inspection you’ll notice the pillow to spouse ratio is a little off.
1. Hidden body pillow.
2. Accent pillows.
3. My woobie pillow.
4. My woobie blanket.
5. Cody’s regular pillow
6. Cody’s body pillow
7. My regular pillow.
Unfortunately our *ahem* problem has been passed down a generation.
Allow me to explain.
1. Collection of Princesses and Fairy Godmothers.
2. Princess pillow.
3. Quilt made by me (more or less)
3a. Green blanket.
3b. Red blanket.
3c. Pink blanket.
4. The all important purple woobie. (also made by me.)
Needless to say the moosh never sleeps in our bed because of our, well, stuff.
Cody and I can barely stay in the same bed.
It starts out something like this:
Civil enough right? And when we get all hot and I get sick of chest hair tickling my nose we split into something like this:
Around the middle of the night we’ve adjusted slightly.
We find each other again in the early hours. Though by now we’re a lot more potent with sleep smell:
By morning it’s every man for himself.
Except Saturday and Sunday mornings when the moosh and her woobies take over join us.
Needless to say we don’t sleep in much on the weekends.
making unbreakable - formerly moosh in indy. 
I LOVE your sleep diagrams – and with the exception of a moosh joining us, well – that’s me and my husband to a T !
Z’s last blog post..How do you talk to yourself if you can’t talk?
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saw the photos on flickr first and thought hooo boy I wonder where she’s going with this! We have a california king which I think is tooo big as I sometimes need smoke signals to get his attention!
Lindy’s last blog post..Ruh Roh!
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Oh my gosh – I laughed so hard at the bedroom scene. It looked all too familiar.
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our bed too except our toddler sleeps sideways with us, we call her the H bomb…. at least her feet go towards my husband and he gets the kickboxing wake up call. I just get the sweet soft baby breath.
Melissa’s last blog post..Supergirls!
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This is one of the blogosphere’s all-time best posts, for sure!
Carol
Carol Snider’s last blog post..The Tale of the Dog Who Ate Pants
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Could this post possibly be any funnier?
I think not.
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I learn better with pictures. And those are the best dang illustrations I have ever seen!
Sarah’s last blog post..That Long Haired Chick In Sandles Keeps Stealing My Change!
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Our Saturday invasion doesn’t start until 7 am, so I am pretty happy about that. Monday – Friday I am getting ready for work at that hour, so being in bed with an extra body seems luxurious.
Amy’s last blog post..Just Doing My Part
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Game night in our house consists of changing the sheets and pillowcases. “Is this… your pillow?” 🙂
phenom’s last blog post..What’s this? 2 posts in one day??
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That was hilarious! Great diagrams.
Lynne’s last blog post..Finally Free?
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Ah-ha-ha…I LOVE the stick figures! Grant is developing his own stash of crib friends – namely a Giraffe, a ball, a few trucks and/or cars, a horse a dinosaur and airplane.
Anna’s last blog post..Not just your ordinary pit stop
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Cute! And just how long did it take you to make those diagrams… 🙂
That one side looks like me when I was pregnant… 4 pillows all by myself and we only have a queen size bed!
Krista’s last blog post..Milestones
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Nice. We have a king but used to sleep together on a full. I don’t even know HOW we did it back then. You are MUCH stronger than I. 😉 Oh and my son has a ton of “friends” including but not limited to; Buzz Lightyear, Buzz Monkey, a big red bear, Blue, “Cookie”, Pablo (from Backyardigans, not the gardener) and at least 2 blankets. Sometimes he wants random things like his corn popper– I don’t know how he sleeps.
Kelly~ Mommy and the Marine’s last blog post..You won’t even believe this.
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That is some fancy, but hilarious, painting 😛
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that was the cutest series of drawings ever.
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I’m glad I’m not the only one who got a laugh out of your diagrams.
There should be a club for those of us with uncontrollable pillow addiction. PA.
Major Bedhead’s last blog post..A Wreck On The Highway
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These pix are worth more than 10,000 words! So cute!
Wendy Wallace’s last blog post..Blogging away to nothing: blogging tips I hate
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This is too funny! I love the stick figures, and all of your fabulous pillows!
Nicole’s last blog post..Midwest Walgreens Deals
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We quickly realized that cuddling in sleep just does not work. A person has to sleep, and that just can’t happen with another person pressed all against you.
Also, that bed? Too small! Get a bigger bed and you will sleep soooo much better! When we went from a queen to a king, it was AWESOME!
Charli’s last blog post..The Day is Just Not For Parents of Young Children
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Among your many other talents…artist and comedian. I love reading your blog!
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He he he…I wish I could tolerate that many pillows in bed with me–your drawings make it look really fun.
Camille’s last blog post..You Wanna Read a Story?
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Those were classic. Unfortunately, ours would have 4 little people bodies flung in every possible position over the big people bodies. And then the big people bodies would give up and go sleep in the little peoples’ beds.
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I just jumped over here after reading your guest apperance on Angella’s blog.
This post is HILARIOUS! I love it. Haha!
Kaili’s last blog post..We got ’em!
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The little Barbies in the last drawing are hysterical!
Must be Motherhood’s last blog post..Tips for the preggos; Or, Why I am not a blood donor and will never shoot heroin
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We used to sleep in a European Queen, which is code word for “short-small-bed” or “we got ripped off”, whichever you prefer. Anyways, we got a king size bed when I was 8 months pregnant with our 3rd child. It was THE BEST purchase we ever made! We both LOVE our bed and sleep so much better.
Trish’s last blog post..Sensory Integration Disorder and Eating
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See! I knew i liked you for a reason. The red bed coverings. Oh yeah. Totally red here too! Psst…Jennifer has red bed too. Freaky.
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Pictorial Proof of Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed in Public Without Kids
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My husband is crazy, he complains about my 2 pillows on our king size bed. I think he would freak out if he saw all those pillows on a bed.
Pictures hilarious!
Emmy’s last blog post..Digital Scrapbooking
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The diagrams are too cute!
I posted this weekend, thinking about you dearie! I do hope that you are feeling fine! If I could strike down The Nasty Troll, I would in an instant. I’m still mad.
Amy’s last blog post..Depression Moves In and Puts Up Its Feet
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boy am i glad i read that whole post, instead of just scanning the diagrams. i thought you were getting a little x-rated.
i think pooka might be related to you guys. she has a queen sized bed that she can barely fit on for all the pillows. and the blankets? oy! of coursse, by morning, she’s not using any of them.
megachick’s last blog post..inch by inchworm bug *bump*
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looks a bit like our house! except that the kid and her equipage climbs into our bed every night before midnight.
magpie’s last blog post..The Liar’s Diary
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Yep. Looks like our sleeping situation except our visitor on the weekends happens to be a bit bigger than the Moosh. BTW, you definitely have some artistic talent there!
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Hahaha! Thanks for the morning giggles! Fantastic drawing skillz
xox
heidikins’s last blog post..Kindergarten Skate to Disco Diva
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um, yeah, that’s pretty much how it works in our bed too…only by the morning, we’ve got three little buggers and all their sleep crap in tow…
ali’s last blog post..2 days in the city
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I am dying of laughter. The cartoons, well, too much. I can hardly breath. Looks a lot like our bed, ‘cept every night two extras end up in the bed with us, ’til I nudge and nudge hubby to take them off! Ahhh parenthood!
Kimmie’s last blog post..Pardon the Interruption.
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Killing myself laughing.
And now imagining you in your red bed.
NOT like that you pervert.
Glad you’re feeling a bit better.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Good Bloggers Gone Bad
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Now Mason can’t complain about how many pillows I have placed on our bed. His usually all end up on the floor by morning with his head flat against the sheets. What a waste!
Erika’s last blog post..Chalk for Breakfast – the abbreviated version
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
I just slept all weekend on a KING SIZE BED.
I could lay spread eagle and not even touch my husband.
I.am.so.buying.one.
Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog:Peep of the Week!
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We usually end up bum to bum half way through the night. Or he complains of me being curled up with my knees in his back. But I won’t let him buy us a king size bed cuz I say I’d never be able to find him then.
ashlee’s last blog post..3.5 Months
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Ha ha loved it!!!! We are pillow hoarders ourselves!
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And that, my friend, is why I would love to have a king size bed.
andi’s last blog post..Wherein I gush all over the interweb and you pretend not to gag – Part 2
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That was us and Will exactly (except Will seems to join us more often than just the weekends). That’s why I want a king size bed for our new house, if they weren’t so darn expensive.
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This made me laugh. It’s exactly how our night goes. Except our additions are not princesses and soft woobies. They are dinosaurs and sharks that love to poke me in the back. If I wake up without rolling over on something its amazing. Sometimes the king bed doesn’t seem big enough. lol
Leisha’s last blog post..Birth Story
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Not only are you hysterical… you have amazing photoshop abilities. I think this is my most favorite post to date. LOL. Loved it.
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Loving the diagrammed princesses and fairy godmothers at the end…
Looks similar to our house on Sunday morning but exchange the kid for a dog and the princesses and fairy godmothers for cats and a skunk…
Reese’s last blog post..Last Little Bits and Pieces
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LOVE the artwork.
We have a DOUBLE. Next month we’re going out of town to clean my Snowbird grandparents’ house for them before they get back from Florida and I booked us a night at a Radisson with a king sized sleep number bed. Iron Chef and Sleep. Never sounded so good.
The Butrfly Garden’s last blog post..I’m sittin on mah bed…Postin’ on mah blawg.
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HAAAA! Those diagrams completely describe the bed situation at my home, too.
metalia’s last blog post..Do’s and Don’ts
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Chris sleeps with fifty pillows! OK, so maybe “fifty” is really “five,” but STILL. I always start with two, and end up with one half a pillow.
(The diagrams are awesome.)
kerrianne’s last blog post..Sisterhood Of The Traveling ‘Stache
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HAHAHAHA! That was great! I loved that you talked about being “stronger with sleep smell.” Too true. Mine would be similar, but no kids, but 2 cats and a dog, who all think they deserve pillows. Specifically my pillows.
Mandi’s last blog post..St. Patrick’s Day is Almost Here! 13 Awesome Designs for Shirts and Buttons
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HA! The pictorials…Too funny.
~JJ!’s last blog post..Time weighs heavy on my heart.
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How do you not get claustrophic in bed 😉
If your toddler is anything like mine are they sleep upside down, around, slap you in the mouth, kick you in the gut – yeah twins in bed…eh not so much
Worker Mommy’s last blog post..I could tell you about it, but then I’d have to kill you
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