I will NOT let depression win. Or Craig.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted inToo lazy to label.

Ah sweet succulent depression, how I loathe thee. How I wish you would just curl up and die while ceasing to exist in all corners of my life. I’ve had enough of you. You exhaust me.

I was hoping it was anything but you. I’ve been finding excuses for weeks. The weather, me being sick, Cody being gone, the stubbornness of my resident three year old, my period. But all those things came and went and I was still left feeling like a sack of beaten potatoes.

So I got help. It wasn’t easy getting help with the fear that they would keep me in the back of my mind. I came awfully close to what could only be called a panic attack when I saw the locked door next to the Psychiatric Intervention Unit. They promised they wouldn’t keep me, and I agreed to a new medication and regular counseling.

I know too many people who think depression is a cop out, a choice, an excuse or a justification for laziness. I know because I used to be one of those people.

For me, depression is a real, live, all consuming monster that would gladly eat me alive if I let it. But I refuse to let it. I am going to kick depression’s black inky rear. I am not going to let it define me, I am not going to let it win. I have too many things to fight for, to live for.

So if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to be putting myself back together for a bit. Thankfully Craig over at Puntabulous has a tasty bit of the me I’m trying to put back together.

An Argument for Cookies.

So please, don’t dwell here, I’ll be fine, really. Head on over to Puntabulous and show that little Star Wars geek that I am the true queen of all things baked and cream filled.

Because here at moosh in indy, I’m all about focusing on the good, and taking down any brownie loving fruits in my way.

75 thoughts on “I will NOT let depression win. Or Craig.”

  1. I’m tired of people who think depression is not real or just a cop-out. Just because it’s “all in your head” doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have real life effects.

    Good luck, Casy; we’re all rooting for you!

    (also? those cookies look delicious)

    Janssen’s last blog post..Love

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  2. I wish people could realize how much depression can rob you of yourself. I suffer the same as you, a lot and more and more each day.

    I am too rooting for you. And will root more if you share your cookies.

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  5. I’ve been worried about the lack of posting for the last few days.

    And I am right there with you. The monster got me this weekend too. Still trying to pull myself out of the black abyss.

    Here’s hoping the help you’re getting brings you back to us soon.

    Cookies rock!

    Antonette’s last blog post..Beautiful Memories

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  6. Oh my gah! I’m so excited. I love his guest debates. I’m going over there right now to experience your brilliance. I hope you kicked his butt and that it brightened your spirits a bit. May you be on your way to healing soon, my friend.
    xoxo

    andi’s last blog post..Valentine’s schmalentines

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  7. As the wife of a person with depression I would never-ever call it a cop out. It is real and it’s painful. So bless you and all of your struggles.

    And as for the debate…it was wonderfully HI-larious!! You won, hands down!!

    Sadie’s last blog post..Winners!!

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  9. I was wondering where you were and missing your posts – I’m glad you’re doing something to help yourself.

    I actually saw Craig’s site before yours this morning, and all the two of you managed to do was make me want cookies AND brownies! Thanks a lot! =)

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  13. I was worried all weekend about you wondering what was going on, why you weren’t posting? i was hoping you were on vacation or something happy, but alas i was wrong! I am so sorry, depression does suck! I hope you do feel better, and this new medication works for you!

    Krista’s last blog post..Funny Video

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  21. Good for you, I applaud you for going to get help…so many people never do that and the results are damaging to those who love them!
    Take all the time you need, we will still be here to read your fabulous blog when you are ready to post again!

    Kathryn Scheibmeir’s last blog post..Leading Literary Men

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  22. I’m bi-polar, and while I truly thank God that the depression side has not been too bad for several years, now, the manic side is getting worse. It’s like stepping outside myself and watching me turn into a screaming raging bitch without being able to do a thing about it. Both sides suck big time. Lots of love to you, and I hope the help you asked for will be enough. If you want awesome new cookie or brownie recipes, just ask.

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  23. People who say depression is a cop out are copping out themselves. They don’t want to understand the person or his/her struggles.
    You will beat this…think of it as an egg that needs a good beating!
    Your cookies totally trump brownies!
    Love your blog!

    K

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  26. Hey

    I think its awesome that you post about it, alot of people are scared to get help and they should. I suffer from slight depression, it was worse when I was a raging alcoholic teen, but I for the most part have it under control.

    I have a question for you. My husband has been on pretty much every medication avaivlbe for depression and nothing seems to help him. Right now he is having an EXTREMELY hard time with it, not getting out of bed, not eatting (which isn’t like him at all), wants to go to church but litterally can’t get out of bed, he wants to quit school, he sleeps all day, i could go on and on. I need help to help support him, we are looking into getting him consouling but with our no money its getting hard to get have money for food and such, Do you have any ideas/ suggestions that I could try to do to help him, or should we leave it to the professionals?

    You know my e-mail, please e-mail me, I have never told anyone about my husbands problems so keep it on the DL

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  31. I have never physicaly met you but this post made me feel kindred to you!!! *sigh* Thank you for posting this today. I love how you expressed it. I think if my TROLL disappeared half of my insanity would become extinct. What did u agree to take? Let me know and how it works, please. I need to go to a doc and get a workup done! Just paralyzed and postponing it. Thank you again and may you be blessed for your efforts and desire to feel better! )))SQUEEZE((( Love the picture.
    BTW- Cause of you I decided to start posting my feelings. Not because I needed other to through pitty parties for me but for the reality of it all and to get it out and make me feel better. Can only fake it for so long. Take Care Lady

    Carlzbad’s last blog post..Valentines Day and Thoughts

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  36. I’ve been worrying about you too…fears confirmed now. Just hang in there, and do one day at a time. That’s what gets ME through it. A month ago I knew I was going down, but I survived it…things are much better. You will too…you’re also a survivor.

    I’ll put your name on the you-know-what at the you-know-where.

    Every little bit helps.

    Linda in Canada (a new fan).

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  41. Those people who think depression is an indulgence, a cop out or a choice include my mother and my husband, which is just fantastic as I sit and ponder the best way to remove my brain from my skull.

    Hang in there, Casey. I’m glad you’re getting help.

    Major Bedhead’s last blog post..For Your Viewing Pleasure

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  42. You kick ass, my friend. Few understand the cajones it took to seek that help with the fear of being “Kept”.

    You are the best, ever.

    P.S.
    Unscrew the tops and stick two Oeros together to make “Quadrastuffed”.

    Kicks the crap out of a casserole and not to be eaten lightly. (I figured it’s an emergency, so it’s ok!)

    Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog:Peep of the Week

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  44. Thank you for expressing the darkness of depression so wonderfully. You’ve reminded me that depression does not define me and will not consume me.

    Your posts remind me that I’m not the only one who has ever felt these things. You’re in my thoughts and I wish you light at the end of your tunnel.

    Steph’s last blog post..Pregnant Belly

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  46. Love you! Hugs, kisses. Kick that depression in the butt! I wish it weren’t so hard! At least you’re up and looking fabulous! Your hair looks OUTSTANDING! I’d still be in bed, in pj’s, looking hideous! Just ask Jesse! Hate depression!

    Loves!

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  49. i was recently told by my dr. that i probably have PPD, after she heard my complaints. She said she could give me meds to help. My first thought was NO WAY I don’t need meds, I need to suck it up and get happy. I am someone who felt it was a cop out as well. I am realizing I need to get over that and FAST. Calling my doc now and seeing what the next step is.

    feener’s last blog post..Vday – feels more like a regular day

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