Cheapness doesn’t pay.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted inToo lazy to label.

We had been married about two years.

We had been given “Free Meal” certificates to a local Mexican restaurant.

We had two.

Not “Buy One Get One Free” but “Free Meal.”

But there was fine print:

“Limit one per table.”

After the server told us this, my husband piped up,

“What if we sit at different tables?”

Oh yes he did.

And yes we did.

Separate tables for the duration of our meals.

This was the night I realized I may very well be married to the CHEAPEST man alive, and it is the night he learned that cheapness doesn’t get you laid.

In fact all it really gets you is a lividly pissed off wife.

And who wants one of those?

***UPDATED 2/28/2008***

Did you get here from StumbleUpon? Yes? Well hey, how are you? If you’re thinking I’m some sort of two bit whore you’d be sorely mistaken. This was written with sarcasm, unfortunately first time readers (especially you men) who don’t know that I regularly employ sarcasm and don’t know that I joke on a regular (healthy) basis with my husband don’t see this as the funny little story it was meant to be. I adore my husbandand he adores me no matter how much money is or isn’t spent. We ordered, received and ate our food from different tables, then moved and sat with each other for dessert and never went back to the restaurant mentioned. So there is no need to call me a floozy, whore, tramp or bitch. Thank you very much. xoxo-Casey

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74 thoughts on “Cheapness doesn’t pay.”

  4. Okay, I nearly peed, a little.
    My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t look at the price tags of ANYTHING he buys and has several ties in his wardrobe that cost more than some of my whole outfits.
    No kidding.
    At least he’s not cheap. Unfortunately, this means we’ll be poor forever…

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  8. So I started BUSTING out laughing at this right.. so I felt the need to read it to my husband who was in the same room. I was reading to him and donkey-laughing so much while reading that it thoroughly pissed him off and he snapped at me.

    thank you.

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  16. hahahaha! I think my husband might be in the running with yours, though he has never tried to pull that one! Thankfully, as he would then have to learn the exact same lesson as yours (up to this point, his little, ahem, quirks have been fairly cute and endearing. But that? Would just piss me off!)

    Z’s last blog post..Marriage Assvice

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  17. So your house is where my husband disappears to! That is horrible Casey but so funny, only because I can vividly see Spouse doing that to ME!

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  23. Oh dear God. He would get along famously with my husband. My husband has shown me an internet article about how to make your own juice boxes because it’s cheaper. He hangs laundry all over our deck (not mine – his) for all the neighborhood to see so as not to run the dryer in the summer. He complains if I put salt on the grocery list before we are officially out of salt.

    (He’s getting better with age…)

    I gave you an award today.

    Amy’s last blog post..Gee Whiz, You Shouldn’t Have!

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  25. NO WAY! I can’t believe that!

    Your husband and my friend would get along great. She doesn’t tip waiters… EVER! I don’t go out with her anymore- it is too humiliating.

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  33. Hah! Now that takes cajones.

    Your story sounds like something my in-laws would do, to be honest. Thankfully, my wife has grown out of the “must save money at the expense of everything else” mode. We still have dozens of cans of tomato paste from Sam’s in our pantry, even if we’ve never used it for cooking before.

    Thomas Stromberg’s last blog post..Pay It Forward Progress

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  37. awww poor you, I say you go “Okay then you owe me a meal TOGETHER” then he will learn that it will just cost him more in the end.

    PS dont hate the preggers

    Liam’s last blog post..This week

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  40. Pingback: Not your regularly scheduled programming | Linksational

  42. That has got to be the funniest thing ever!

    My husband would probably add a “stein” or “berg” to the end of your last name – but he does that sort of thing since he is a ”
    berg!” If you catch my drift!

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  44. I love your blog. Your keep me entertained with your accurate outlook on life and all it has to offer.

    I just wanted to tell you I am the wife of a Law student too (we actually used to live in Indy too, my husband did his first year of Law school at IU Indy with Jon S and Tom D, but we transferred to BYU to save money) and it does suck at times!!

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  48. (I’ve lurked on your blog for awhile. This was just the post to get me to comment!) Funny…when I got to your conclusion, I was thinking “I wouldn’t have been mad at ALL.” I would have sat by myself and read my book while I ate, occasionally looking up to wave at the DH. Peace, relative quiet, free meal. Perfect night!!! 😉

    Amy Sorensen’s last blog post..Book Note: Miss Spitfire

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  49. (I’ve lurked on your blog for awhile. This was just the post to get me to comment!) Funny…when I got to your conclusion, I was thinking “I wouldn’t have been mad at ALL.” I would have sat by myself and read my book while I ate, occasionally looking up to wave at the DH. Peace, relative quiet, free meal. Perfect night!!! 😉

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  50. A man of rare wisdom; not only were both dinners free, but there was a delicious lack of conversation.

    Given the normal course of events when married couples converse, he stood little chance of getting laid anyways.

    LOL!

    jonolan’s last blog post..Adsense Optimization

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