Category Archives: Too lazy to label.

Pardon my absence but I’ve been making out with my kitchen gadgets. I missed them. And did you know that you forget about what clothes you left behind when you live out of a suitcase for two months? It’s like coming home to a whole new wardrobe of stuff you’d actually buy for yourself. (Well,Continue reading “Inspect Her Gadget.”

As I sit here with Mildred and Unis in all of our unpregnant and infertile glory we must say we are a bit peeved off with all you pregnant people. Just when I was getting over my last not pregnant rant half the links I check today assault me with “I’m 12 weeks!” “105 daysContinue reading “I see pregnant people.”

I’m home, my trip, as far as planes, trains and automobiles was completely and utterly uneventful. The rest of the trip…well…you’ll see. First I have to acknowledge those who made a stab at the trip that was today. Biddy came close to describing our drive, but she said it would be at 10 mph. SillyContinue reading “Home Again, Home Again Naked Jiggity Jig.”

Cody and I fly out on different airlines at different times on Monday to go back home. There is currently a storm over Utah the size of Nevada. Getting to the airport from where we currently are involves a three hour (without weather) drive through two steep canyons and across a windblown snow covered reservoirContinue reading “Guess Our Horror!”

I am a fast reader. A fast, obsessive reader. For those of you who may not know, I read the first six Harry Potter books in a span of five days. I finished the seventh Harry Potter book in one night. I was a waste of a wife wandering around muttering spells under my breath,Continue reading “***UPDATED***mush’s skewl fer kids hoo dun’t rid so gewd.”

Continuing on with the theme of period talk this week, allow me to discuss my boobs. Named Mildred and Unis, respectively. Managing Frederick’s of Hollywood I learned that “girls” (trying to lessen the google pervs here) rarely come in matching pairs. One is always bigger. (Or smaller, if you subscribe to pessimism.) The difference between mineContinue reading “Mildred and Unis wish they could pee standing up.”

When you join the league of SAHMs (stay at home moms) you forget that there are social graces amongst those who are not of your league. This is easily demonstrated in poop talk. You do not go to lunch with a childless friend and discuss the varying scents and textures of your babies poo. ThatContinue reading “Social Graces.”

I don’t do pressure cookers. I will most likely never own one. Why not? OH! Did I not tell you about the time that Cody almost BLEW OFF HIS FACE WITH A PRESSURE COOKER? He was making mashed potatoes at my moms house. Silly me figured I knew what he was doing. Until I heard,Continue reading “Under Pressure.”

“Show her! Go show your mom!” Cody said through hysterical fits of laughter. Now that’s never a good thing to hear. the moosh came up the stairs to me, nothing looked wrong or out of place. That is until she reached down her pants and pulled one of my sister in laws nursing pads fromContinue reading “Padding Innocence.”

I’m considering hanging giant jingle bells from any and all items the moosh is capable of standing on. This would include chairs, stools, buckets, laundry baskets, boxes, paint cans and potties. The creaking of chair legs across a laminate floor is a dead giveaway that the small person in your life is participating in naughtiness.Continue reading “Pushing Chairsies.”