Category Archives: Too lazy to label.

Tomorrow I am headed to a place called The Naked Monkey. Except this time? I’ll leave one sixteenth Floridian. Because Florida is where I will be in a little over a week. What? I’m going to have to wear a bathing suit. And naked monkeys look better in bathing suits than hairy monkeys. ahem. DoContinue reading “Prepare ye naked monkey!”

To the outside observer Cody and I are like oil and vinegar. While I am peppy! outgoing! dramatic! and always with the talky talky! Cody is shy. reserved. stoic. I am an exclamation point. Cody is a period. Both of my parents have never understood us. We first saw each other in August of 2000.Continue reading “So there’s this guy…”

In my last post I asked you to vote for me to win a tech makeover. (And you did, thank you!) But I take it back. I live a blessed life and so what if I have the screen resolution of a game boy? This father was a firefighter who was injured 10 years agoContinue reading “Let this be your good deed.”

I don’t do well at keeping things alive. Giving me a live plant or a seed in dirt is only giving that innocent shrub a death sentence. I thought at first I just wasn’t trying hard enough. I was given some paperwhites and told “It’s impossible to kill paperwhites.” I never did kill them. NeverContinue reading “Humming to extinction.”

I want to tell you about the drug store employee that pulled a power trip on me. I want to tell you how I almost caused the population of Hoosier hummingbirds to go extinct. I want to tell you about Nigel Barker in a wetsuit asking if you’re ready to get wet. I want toContinue reading “love love love. happy happy happy.”

I’m flying pretty high on the self esteem machine tonight. Why? Because I tried on my first pair of Spanx today and they didn’t do a darn thing for me. (Why am I 26 trying on super support panties? Because I read “an ode to Spanx” in the dentist’s waiting room and I figured whyContinue reading “moosh in spanx.”

When the moosh was tiny I spent hours in my glider with her, praying for her to just fall asleep already. There were so many things I wanted to do or could do if she would just. fall. asleep. I had my first good cry over motherhood in that chair. I’ve cured fevers and nightmaresContinue reading “That chair.”

Earlier in the summer when the temperatures started creeping into the 90’s my air contioning went fritzy. “Mrs. moosh, it looks like your A/C fixed with parts and labor will be $1,300.” “DO IT.” I didn’t think it through, I didn’t even consider getting a second opinion. Had it been something like brakes? Eh, negotiable.Continue reading “Comfortably broken.”

Foster parenting. Adoption. Scams. Miscarriage. Chances are a good majority of humans can relate to one of these. For many of you, one of them may have been a defining moment in your life. Now imagine having all four happen to you, one happen twice, and it all happening within five months. Now imagine itContinue reading “The hits kept on coming.”

Little kids have nightmares. Dragons, giant stining insects and monsters are typical little kid nightmare fodder. My kid? Spices. My kid has nightmares about spices. She is scared to death that “the spices” are going to come get her. They were in her room the other night and a bunch of ladybugs came in toContinue reading “Nightmares of the Martha sort.”