infertility – Page 3 – making unbreakable

squeaky bloated, fat and clean topped with pearls.

So I feel I’ve already leapt the most awkward hurdle of the next 24 hours. I’ll just let you know that administering two pills per my ONE VAGINA involved some advanced yoga moves Wii Fit doesn’t even know about and a MacGyver rigged tampon. *ahem* My belly is marked, the winning submission was “Please leaveContinue reading “squeaky bloated, fat and clean topped with pearls.”

finding humor in blood, sedatives and lady parts.

My uterine factory reset is fast approaching on Tuesday. Today I went in for my pre-op appointment with Dr. SallyForth. The good news? I don’t have to do a bowel cleanse the day before. The bad news? Everything else besides not having to do a bowel cleanse. I learned today that my uterus has aContinue reading “finding humor in blood, sedatives and lady parts.”

a uterine factory reset is scheduled.

Hi Internet. How are you? Me? I’m still kind of having a rough time. Cody has started studying hardcore for the bar, it should be against the law to study 12 hours a day for two months straight for ONE TEST. But that’s just my opinion. I have my house, but after having the utilitiesContinue reading “a uterine factory reset is scheduled.”

I am the pregnancy rule.

I’m writing this on the 17th of May, a day before my period is scheduled to come and nineteen days after I ovulated (and made out appropriately.) Which means for the past nineteen days I have interpreted any tiny fluctuation in my existence to mean I am either pregnant or not. For anyone who hasContinue reading “I am the pregnancy rule.”

Hysterosalpingogram-the patient’s version.

Monday morning I headed into a local hospital to have ink shoved up my fallopian tubes. If you are to ever have this procedure done your doctor will either call it an HSG test or a “Hystero,” if he’s really into freaking you out he’ll give you the full name, hysterosalpingogram followed with a shallowContinue reading “Hysterosalpingogram-the patient’s version.”

the truthful yet TMI side to PCOS.

TMI is in the title. You’ve been warned. I have tiny little fluid filled cysts on my ovaries. Well, tiny is all relative. If my ovary was the size of my head? The cyst on my left ovary would be roughly the size of a very large cat sitting on my head. My right ovaryContinue reading “the truthful yet TMI side to PCOS.”

cystacular! now with jazz hands!

When I was but a young child I thought that when a dad’s bellybutton touched the mom’s bellybutton in a “baby hug” a mom got pregnant. The kid was in her stomach and after awhile she pooped it out. I never did understand where food went with all that baby crowding her business. I alsoContinue reading “cystacular! now with jazz hands!”

Hi, I’m a professional not pregnant person. Nice to meet you.

I shudder every time I go out in public and someone inevitably asks “So, what do you dooooo?” A year ago I could leave the answer at “stay at home mom” but with the recent influx of opportunities as a result of this here blog I can’t really leave it at just mom anymore. ThisContinue reading “Hi, I’m a professional not pregnant person. Nice to meet you.”

barren uterus, full heart.

Here goes nothing. Up to this point I have not had anyone get medically involved in my fertility issues outside my yearly spread ’em, scrape ’em, squeeze ’em. I didn’t have insurance nor was I completely sure that eight babies during law school was the best idea (wait, you mean not everyone that goes throughContinue reading “barren uterus, full heart.”

The 36″ denial.

I have this thing where I like to go into the moosh’s room at night and rock her while she’s sleeping. Kind of like that “Love You Forever” book but without all the creep. (Because that book creeped you out too didn’t it? Just a little bit? With the old lady and the grown man?)Continue reading “The 36″ denial.”