of parenting and platypi.

I gave Vivi some sage advice on surviving the next few months. You know, stuff like “Don’t whack yourself in the face!” and “TAKE NAPS!” But she’s a horrible listener so I doubt she paid attention to any of it. Ears on baby clothes? Only kittens are cuter. (Sometimes puppies. Or baby Platypi.) SPEAKING OFContinue reading “of parenting and platypi.”

vivi the mandrake and why I may wet the bed tonight.

So…Vivi found her volume switch. Multiple times today I made MAD DASHES across my house to make sure nothing was eating, pinching, sitting on, stealing, choking, scaring, hitting or biting the baby. Because surely babies don’t just randomly shriek out in the same high pitched shrill tones for every emotion they’re capable of conveying. TurnsContinue reading “vivi the mandrake and why I may wet the bed tonight.”

the one about me not being able to breastfeed.

“Invented in the mid-1800’s as a last-ditch option for orphans and underweight babies, packaged infant formula has since been perfected to be a complete and reliable source of stress and shame for mothers.” -Tina Fey, Bossypants I do not produce breastmilk. I figured I’d better come clean on this whole subject since some of youContinue reading “the one about me not being able to breastfeed.”