Amidst all this PC/religion/namecalling garbage a new kind of debate has aroused itself.

The religious/regional/cultural food debate.

I will admit that part of the reason I love living around a bunch of different denominations of Christians is the fish fry. Fish fries are proof that God loves us no matter what church we do or don’t go to and wants us to be happy, full of greasy fish, tartar sauce and cheap buns.

The other day I got this comment:

I’m offended because I’m Southern Baptist and we actually eat fried chicken, not fried fish…Ahem.

Lesson learned. (And she was kidding, lighten up people.)

The entire United States is unknowingly engaged in culinary battle. Take the KC/St. Louis BBQ battle. Or the Chicago/New York pizza battle. Utah is legendary for fry sauce (I MISS YOU FRY SAUCE) and Indiana boasts tenderloin as big as your head.

This brings me to Mormon food.

Funeral Potatoes.

Frog Eye Salad.

Hawaiian Haystacks.

Carrot Raisin salad.

Green Jell-O. (Often with pineapple, Cool Whip, cottage cheese and/or shaved carrots. (Dude, I don’t eat the stuff, I just defend it.))

We have entire Mormon Cookbooks and entire restaurants dedicated to the fine art of cooking with cream of mushroom soup and sour cream. WE PERFECTED THE JELL-O SALAD and also spawned Jell-O products Jell-O didn’t even know Jell-O could be used for.

Some guy out there with a lot of guns thinks he can claim Green Jell-O in the name of the Lutherans.

As if the threat of a lot of guns is going to scare me away from the truth.

Mormons are the only reason green Jell-O is still in production.

Ever heard of THE JELL-O BELT? That’s right, an entire area known for its Jell-O love thanks to a high concentration of Latter Day Saints. Utah’s State Snack Food? Jell-O.

In 2001, after an astounding 14,000 people had signed a petition, JELL-O was made the Official State Snack of Utah. Another fact is that the people of Salt Lake City actually eat more lime flavored JELL-O than any other city in the world. (Source and Source)

In. the. wooooorld.

I really didn’t want it to come to this. But Mr. Gunfighter was adamant that he (exact words)

Never.

Loses.

In.

Combat.

Allow me to show you a pin from the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City.

Where’s YOUR green Jell-O pin GUNFIGHTER?

Watch out dude, because I think you just got your Jellass handed to you with delicious pieces of pineapple and a dollop of Cool Whip by a Mormon, the true lovers and proper owners of the Green Jell-O stereotype.

It was  a beautiful day in Heaven.

All the new arrivals were loaded onto a bus at the pearly gates and taken on a tour of the many mansions in Heaven.

The bus driver, a surly man named Hank, welcomed everyone aboard and began the tour.

“On the right is the Catholics manion.” said Hank.

The passengers ooh’ed and ahh’ed over the ornate stained glass and gold staircases.

“Now up here on the left is the Southern Baptist’s mansion.” Hank said.

The smell of collard greens and fried fish was tempting to the hungry people on the bus, getting to Heaven is exhausting work.

Hank continued on showing off the Non-Denominational Christian mansion, the Seventh Day Adventist mansion and the mansion where people lived who didn’t really have a “religion” while on Earth. All were equally glorious, beautiful and ornate. Residents of each mansion milled about the beautiful grounds with residents from neighboring mansions.

It truly was Heaven.

Hank began to turn down a more secluded path, he killed the engine and put in in neutral. “Now I’m going to have to ask all of you to hold your talking for a minute right here and be reeeeaaaaallll quiet.” Hank said.

“Why?” whispered a small Rabbi from the back of the bus.

“Because,” Hanks voice was barely audible, “we’re about to pass the Mormons mansion and they think they’re the only ones here.”

*******

So this was told to me by someone whom I respect in my church. I think it’s funny. But with the recent “namecalling” debate what do you think? Is it okay because I’m the one telling it and am basically making fun of myself? Or is it worse because I’m the one telling it?

If it were coming from the mouth of someone who openly disliked the LDS religion would it cease to be funny?

Just curious.

DO YOU SEE WHY I’M SO PERPLEXED WITH ALL THIS PC GARBAGE PEOPLE?

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

My church has even put out a formal request to the media about how and when to use specific references to the Church.

The official name of the Church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This full name was given by revelation from God to Joseph Smith in 1838.—

While the term “Mormon Church” has long been publicly applied to the Church as a nickname, it is not an authorized title, and the Church discourages its use.

When writing about the Church, please follow these guidelines:

• In the first reference, the full name of the Church is preferred: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• Please avoid the use of “Mormon Church,” “LDS Church” or “the Church of the Latter-day Saints.”
• When a shortened reference is needed, the terms “the Church” or “the Church of Jesus Christ” are encouraged.
• When referring to Church members, the term “Latter-day Saints” is preferred, though “Mormons” is acceptable.
• “Mormon” is correctly used in proper names such as the Book of Mormon, Mormon Tabernacle Choir or Mormon Trail, or when used as an adjective in such expressions as “Mormon pioneers.”
• The term “Mormonism” is acceptable in describing the combination of doctrine, culture and lifestyle unique to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• When referring to people or organizations that practice polygamy, the terms “Mormons,” “Mormon fundamentalist,” “Mormon dissidents,” etc. are incorrect. The Associated Press Stylebook notes: “The term Mormon is not properly applied to the other … churches that resulted from the split after [Joseph] Smith’s death.”

Okay. *yawn* Are we all on the same page?

Good.

Nine times out of ten I call myself a Mormon. Or LDS. Five times out of ten Mormon is spelled wrong by the general public (Morman, which let’s face it, I have enough man in my life.) and three times out of ten when I use the term LDS, a joke is made about LSD. It’s also really close to FLDS (the polygamists, I cover that one here.) and the RLDS (also a completely different religion.) so for most people I keep it to the simple two syllable term, Mormon.

You’re not going to offend me if you call me a Mormon. If you precede it with four letter words ending in “ing” my feelings may bruise slightly. As long as you’re not trying to be hateful? Call me whatever you want. Same goes for most people I know who share the same beliefs as me, as long as you’re not being a jerk? We can take a joke and you can call us whatever is most convenient (which most of the time is Mormon.)

Now I can’t speak for other groups in the world. Everyone is going to take name calling differently. I have made the grave mistake of deeply offending someone by using the term “Jew.” It was not in a hateful or anti-Semitic way, however taken out of context I can easily see where I went wrong. At the same time I see other people using the term “Jew.” Even Rabbi Shmuley, (who’s totally on twitter HI RABBI SHMULEY!) used the term “Jew” in one of his tweets.

*sigh*

Is it one of those things where only those who are “in” are allowed to use the vernacular? *deep breath*

I hope you can understand why I’m frustrated. We’ve become so set as a society to take anything as an offense that we react before we think a lot of times.

Sometimes it’s easier to refer to someone as “the Jewish one” or “the gay one” or “the heavier one” or “the black one” or “the one in a wheelchair.”  It’s not because we’re all  Anti-Semites, homophobes, vain, racist or have something against handicapped people sometimes it’s just easier to point someone out with an obvious difference. You all know you have that one Aunt you refer to as “The Crazy One.” Every family has one.  I remember at BlogHer last year trying to tiptoe around the fact that Heather B. was black. So what? She is! And she refers to herself as such on her blog.

But is okay as a white person to call another person black because I’m not? Because I don’t understand what it means to be black? Should I keep to the more politically correct term of “African American?” Is it even okay for me to refer to myself as a white person? Because deep down (okay, my nose) is a Greek person, and under that (my pale skin) is an Irish person.

Honestly I don’t like it when white (caucasian) people refer to themselves as “crackers.” It makes me uncomfortable, much as I would imagine the N term makes black (African American) people feel. (See? I can’t even utter the N word. But you know what I’m talking about.)

Why is race and religion and physical appearance such a big deal? Our president is black, I’d make friends with a Baptist just as quick as I’d make a friend with a fellow Mormon and frankly this whole Prop 8 mess? I speak for myself (MYSELF) when I say that I’ve seen more same sex couples take their unions more seriously than a lot of “traditional” couples. (I’m looking at you Britney Spears.)

We all have value, and short of those derfwads floating around the world who live to hurt people by calling them names like a six year old bully, most of us aren’t out to hurt anyone else.

So if I use the word “Jew” and eat bacon in front of a Jewish person it’s not because I’m a jerk or Anti-Semite. While I’ll do my best to keep my pork consumption to myself I won’t always remember. It’s not my lifestyle.

Just as if you cuss up a storm and drink three glasses of wine in front of me, it’s not because you’re a jerk trying to hurt or offend me, it’s what YOU are used to. (Or your name is Tanis.)

And if somewhere along the lines I offend you or you offend me? I’ll be sure to tell you like a grownup. Just as I’d expect you to do the same. Because the likelyhood that I meant to hurt you? Is smaller than a fish’s eyeball.