I wasn’t quite ready to enter the world of obituary writing.

It’s not very much fun.

(But I still rocked it IMO.)

And recently I’ve just kind of been stuck in a weird place.

I mean, Cheryl’s gone. But she’s not.

Aunt Cheryl and I were kindred spirits. I feel closer to her now than I did when I knew she was hanging out in her apartment in Salt Lake. My morning prayers have turned to “HI CHERYL! SO GLAD YOU’RE UP THERE! DO YOU LIKE IT? WHAT’S IT LIKE? OH! IS JESUS AROUND? I REALLY NEED TO THANK HIM FOR LETTING ME BE YOUR NIECE. WHAT’S IT LIKE RUNNING AND DANCING? CASSIE AND I DECIDED YOU WERE MORE OF A GAGA FAN THAN A MANILOW FAN...”

Anyway. It’s hard, because I’m so happy she’s happy now. I do have a set of beliefs that leaves me with an absolute feeling of peace and comfort with her passing. But I’m headed to a funeral where not everyone has the same beliefs I do. And that? Is tricky.

I have people around me apologizing for my loss, which makes me think maybe I should be more sad. So I get more sad. But then I get stressed out. And when I get stressed out? I get weepy.

Well. Bawly.

It’s ugly.

But I’m not really sad. I may have lost an aunt but I gained one hell of a guardian angel.

Guess that’s the whole kindred spirit thing. Crap I love her so much. She left me so many memories.

love love love.

Anyway, I don’t expect anyone to care much, I mean, she wasn’t your aunt.

But oh man she was great.

And she’s not gone.

She’s still throwing down heavenly gang signs. I love it.

****

Do you have a kindred spirit?

Today I chose to cook instead of nap after church.

It’s stormy outside and something about my kitchen called to me.

I’m not sure who or what planted the craving for candied nuts in my brain today, but when we came home I set out to produce the perfectly sugared pecan.

If I were to write a cookbook it would be titled something along the lines of “How to Win Friends with Food” or “How to Cook so People Will Like You.” There seems to be something about making someones favorite food, and making it well, that breaks down any walls they may have built up around them (which is why I have such a soft spot for the ending of Ratatouille.)

I’ve noticed that when I have someone over who is going through a rough time my first instinct is to head to the kitchen. I listen better when I’m cooking. When my sister in law is around it’s grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. When tiny gramma was out here last time I made lunch as she told me about the huge changes about to take place in her life. As we sat together at the table, my mom and me, eating what I had just made, it hit me that this was one of those moments worth growing up for.

Being able to cook for your mom when she’s going through a rough time.

Being able to produce the perfect tiramisu for a friend’s birthday (even when you think tiramisu embodies everything wrong with food. Soggy cookies? Please no thank you.)

Being able to cook means that even when you can’t do anything else for someone who is suffering or lonely, you can show up with something warm, that proves that they are loved and that someone was thinking about them.

Or it can simply mean having the ability to put together a meal that doesn’t come from a box that will bring your family together around the table after being apart all day.

In the time our new Frigidaire appliances have been in our home they have baked birthday cakes, chicken noodle soup, an Easter ham and many experimental gluten free recipes including a chocolate cake made with garbanzo beans and orange juice. The microwave has heated hot chocolate as well as heating pads. Our stove has satisfied Cody’s long standing craving for authentic buffalo wings and my desire to make things from scratch instead of a warmed up bottle (home made hot fudge sauce FTW.)

Knowing how to cook has Addie by my side at almost every meal. It means she knows the difference between a boil and a saute and even more importantly the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon. It means she sees what goes into food instead of which bag it comes out of. It means I use the word morel more than I use the word moron and it means that I’m never going to give into those mall kiosks with the candied nuts again.

Because when you can produce the food you love at home? There aren’t many reasons to pay someone else to do it for you. (Except for dishes. Dishes are always worth outsourcing.)

I wrote this review while participating in a Test Drive Campaign by Mom Central on behalf of Frigidaire and received a Frigidaire Range/Microwave to facilitate my review.

In a large lidded container combine:

3/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

freshly ground nutmeg (optional)

Cover the container and shake until well mixed.

In a large bowl beat one egg white and a teaspoon of vanilla until frothy.

Pour in a pound of halved pecans and stir with a large spoon until all the liquid is coating the pecans.

Pour the pecans into the bowl with the sugar mixture, cover the container and shake until the pecans have been coated by all of the sugar mixture.

Spread the pecans in a single layer on a large rimmed cookie sheet covered with parchment.

Bake for one hour in a 250 degree oven, stirring the pecans every 15 minutes.

Cool.

Attempt restraint, share with people you love.

BlogHer sweet BlogHer, only three weeks away.

When Energizer came and said “No sponsor you say?”

Why no little bunny, no sponsor in sight,

but boy howdy I’d like one if to just pay for the flight.

“Well tell me dear blogger, tell me about you,

tell me why you’re here and about our batteries too.”

Continue reading “to blogher dear bunny, a poem.”

Addie has recently added the word “awkward” to her vocabulary. Unfortunately she has no idea how to use the word correctly.

“Mom, are we stuck in traffic?”

“Yes.”

“Whew, that’s awkward.”

*******

“This is probably the best bowl of cereal ever, it’s so awkward.”

******

****

I am also pleased to inform you that she has only fired me twice over the past month.

Once because I “didn’t allow her to live in a world where she can do whatever she wants” and once over soup.

Let’s discuss strange illnesses shall we?

Addie has one, its official name is cyclic vomiting syndrome, or CVS. And it’s exactly what it sounds like, she vomits, in cycles. She was sick today. And since I’m just sure there’s another mom out there that has a kid that vomits out of nowhere and isn’t sure why, I’m writing about it.

It started last year. In March. We were in New Mexico. Addie slept in. Which is weird for her. And it wasn’t just kind of a sleep in. It was a SLEEP IN. (You know or will know what I’m talking about.) One moment she’s asleep, the next moment she bolted upright and barfed.

For the next few hours any tiny little bit of anything that went into her stomach came back out within fifteen minutes. She fell alseep in front of a movie several times, which also? Never happens.

Then just like that it ended. The little kid was running around the house eating everything in sight. As if nothing had ever happened. She never had a fever, she never had anything but the barfs (which is what she calls her little sickness.)

It has happened several times since. And the one constant I’ve noticed (besides it coming and going by early afternoon) is that it attacks her when she’s either really tired (such after staying up late all weekend due to a little festivity known as fireworks.) or out of her element (trip to New Mexico or living in a hotel for example.)

So if your little kid has ever woken up, slept and barfed the morning away and then perked right up like a puppy come afternoon? There may be an explanation. If nothing else this little syndrome will prove just how resilient little kids are.

So my advice, one mom to another? If you think your kid may have CVS? Don’t force them to eat anything. Just get some water in them so they have something to barf up. It only takes a tablespoon every hour to prevent dehydration. Sadly, they’re going to dry heave whether they have anything in their stomach or not. And as someone who spent nine months barfing?

Water hurts the least.

And take heart. It will be over before you know it, enjoy the little sleepy snuggles while you can.