“Why don’t you brush your teeth?”

That was the first thing out of the mouth of the boy I was hopelessly head over heels for in sixth grade.

I tried to explain that I did brush my teeth, in fact I had never had a cavity! But I had too much fluoride as a kid and what resulted were mottled splotchy teeth, a condition known as hyper fluorosis.

I walked home that day with my friend Amy, fantasizing about the day that my little ugly duckling self would evolve into a swan.

“I’ll get my teeth fixed! I’ll get contacts! I’ll let my hair grow long! I’ll get new clothes! Tim will never know what hit him!”

Of course it took nearly five years to get my teeth fixed and once we finally did my mom could only afford to have the front two veneered. I finally got contacts my junior year of high school and my hair didn’t get long until I was married. *sigh* But during those seven-ish years I learned that my happiness wasn’t based on my hair, my teeth or what I wore on my face. And slowly…confidence came. (I mean, I still TOTALLY cared about my hair, teeth, clothes and glasses…but they weren’t everything.)

Through the magic of facebook I found Tim, but with nearly twenty years between that stinging comment that helped shape/destroy my confidence through the rest of my adolescence and now? I didn’t really care. And I really doubt he does either. Or that he even remembers saying it.

But man, it hurt. And it’s obviously stuck with me.

“Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.” -Baz Luhrmann

My little kid is in school now, with other kids who may not take her feelings into consideration. One day she will probably come across a Tim and he may try to destroy everything she knows to be true about herself in less than ten words. I work consciously every day to show my little kid that happiness doesn’t come from what you wear, what you look like or even more importantly what others say about you. Happiness comes from how you feel about yourself, and how you treat those around you.

It may be our most important job as her parents to help her realize, and hold onto, her self worth. Even when others attempt to destroy it. Of course I want my kid to be wicked smart, but above all else? I want her to be kind, to herself and to those around her.

I had the opportunity to talk about self confidence in myself, my little kid and the others around me with four other ladies. We all want the best for our kids, but at the same time we all realize that awkward growing pains are a part of life, and we’re going to do our best to get our kids through them.

How do you attempt instill an unshakable confidence in your kids?

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I was fortunate to be able to participate in this campaign with Invisalign Teen. I was compensated for my time in sharing my story and the Invisalign Teen contest with Blissfully Domestic, not for promoting a specific product (although you have to admit it’s a pretty darn cool product.) The statements and opinions are my own.

When Cody and I were first together I felt the need to justify our relationship, to make the good exponentially awesome and pretend the bad didn’t exist. A lot of people (pretty much everyone who had ever known me) expected us (specifically me) to fail. I had gone from a wild and reckless existence to married in six months.

Most anyone will deny the possibility of knowing you were meant to marry someone in one single clarifying moment.

But that’s exactly what happened with Cody, three weeks after our first date. In one moment I saw us getting married, me having his babies and us growing old together. I can remember it with perfect clarity.

Cody often tells me how hard that first year was…I don’t remember much of it. Because it was also the first year that I was forced to face my emotions without drugs or alcohol. Of course it was hard for him, he had to watch his new bride fall apart and (at the time) he felt there was nothing he could do for me.

But he never gave up on me.

When I mentioned divorce in passing he always responded with “Ending will never be an option.”

Years went by, jobs came and went, apartments came and went, our waistlines came and went and finally I ended up pregnant with Addie. Again, he had to sit on the sidelines and watch as his wife crumbled around the tiny baby growing inside her. He was within feet of me as my body tried to get rid of all the pills I had taken to end not only my life, but his daughter’s life as well. When I woke up he asked if I wanted to watch Oprah and when I was finally released if I wanted to go to the baby store to pick some things out.

Unfortunately I was transferred to an inpatient facility for the next three days where there was no Oprah, baby stuff or Cody.

The night I was released he was never more than an arms length away from me.

More time went by, me falling back on him through postpartum depression, moving and finally going to law school. He always caught me. Law school wasn’t kind. I was forced to fall other places, Cody had to focus on school. It was for our future, for our family. Unfortunately one of the places I fell more than I should have was onto credit cards. By the time school came to an end I think we had both forgotten how to love each other. We both made mistakes. We both acknowledge them.

Love cannot be shown in deed and duty alone.

By October of 2009 we were on the thinnest ice possible. I was ready for the end. 8 years…we did good. We tried. It was going to end.

But Cody stayed true to what he said our first year. “Ending will never be an option.”

He promised me that from that day forth I would never go a day without knowing just how much he loves me.

Once again I was washed over with clarity and this sense of peace, we would make it through this. We would grow old together. We would be okay.

Getting back to okay was hard as hell. For once we both had to lean on each other when each of us were at our most weak and vulnerable. But we made it. Some days hour to hour, until it became day to day…and now. We are just us, we will always be us, for time and all eternity.

His hands make me melt. His smile causes pitter patters. I get giddy when he walks into a room. He has become the safest, strongest most reliable thing I know. Of all the things on this earth he is my most prized possession. And our babies are a tangible extension of two people so in love that if the rest of the world fell away we’d still be complete because we have each other.

Oh how I love him.

(photo by Kim Orlandini)

Apparently there’s a reason to party in my tummy.

Did you see this?

Apparently a crap ton of you are in on it and have been since like, forever and I had no idea.

Cody included.

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP SECRETS? Can you write a book? And can I get a galley copy of said book?

Because secrets? Are not on my “major life skills list.” Also not on that list? The ability to sit through A Capella performances. Or watch commercials that feature monkeys dressed as humans acting as humans.

So anyway. I’m overwhelmed with emotions. And with love for my Emily, and for everyone who has agreed to help her.

I must have done something right somewhere in my life to have such amazing people in it.

Thank you. All of you.

(Also, this post about infertility is easily the best one I have ever read. Ever. Emily sent it to me.)

I was able to spend 36 hours in Chicago with my little family.

Even more specifically this man.

This Lego building, goofy face making, Coke drinking, pizza eating, little kid carrying, ice skater watching, best smelling, most comfortable man in my entire world. How I ended up with him, I don’t know. But I go to bed every night holding his hand thankful that I did.

And the pizza. Chicago and the pizza. Yes. Yes please.

We were surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people. But these two were the only ones I noticed. The big one that loves to swim, watch ESPN and eat omelets and the little one who had all her dreams come true when we let her hail and ride in her very first tacky. (What the rest of us call a Taxi, but I’m not about to correct her.)

Being away from the distractions of real life with these two, even if just for a few hours, allowed my tired, weary soul to rest. Like a nap but with better views and way better food. My heart is full, and even more importantly it is rested.

I am blessed.