Hey look at me! Talking about my cats again! Pretty soon I’m just going to go into a complete cat lady montage wearing a bedazzled cat sweatshirt with attached collar to the tune of “You Light Up my Life” as I gaze longingly into their eyes (well, eye) Only it has to be the Debbie Boone version of “You Light Up My Life” the LeAnn Rimes version is way too normal for what’s going on up in here.

You know what I forgot about owning cats and a piano at the same time?

They will jump up on the keys in the middle of the night and walk across them, but instead of being level headed and thinking “Whoops! Forgot to close the piano keys and those pesky cats are at it again!” you think “A MURDERER GOT INTO THE HOUSE AND IS PLAYING THEIR OWN HORROR MURDER MUSIC WITH THEIR RUSTY HOOK BEFORE THEY MURDER ME IN MY BED AND I THINK THERE WAS A LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT THIS OR IF NOT MAYBE I’M GOING TO BE THE SUBJECT OF ONE…”THE PIANO PRELUDE KILLER”…OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND KIRSTEN DUNST WILL PLAY ME BECAUSE SHE HASN’T BEEN IN A GOOD MOVIE FOR A WHILE SO LIFETIME SPECIALS MUST BE NEXT FOR HER.”

You know, or something like that.

I also found two entirely new ways to feel like the absolute filthiest person you know.

A) Purchase a large dark multicolored wool rug and watch as your formerly clean house becomes littered with tiny little wool rug threads that stick to everything and look like you hate vacuuming or performing any sort of regular house maintenance at all. Attempt to blame said rug when you see company’s eyes shift downwards towards your fiber covered floor and see the obvious look of judgement when they assume you are attempting to pass of copious amounts of cat hair and filth as “rug fibers.”

I SWEAR IT’S THE RUG.

B) Adopt two cats from the Human Society only to discover that one of them has a tapeworm a week later (Hint, it’s not Wink.) The levels of disgusting range from “OH HI CAT WITH A GIANT PARASITIC WORM INSIDE OF YOU.” to frantic cleaning and decontaminating every surface ever touched by said cat, which is convenient given that the rug already has you working overtime with vacuum in hand.

Whoever said animals were easier than kids is A TOTAL LIAR.

Poor girl that sat next to me at church asked me some question and I responded with “I spent the morning cleaning up tapeworm segments from my cat.”

Parasites, rug confetti and gorilla paw cats.

It’s how we roll these days.

This post is sponsored by Tempur-Pedic, the brand millions of owners trust to deliver their best night’s sleep every night. Enjoy our Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer now and give the gift of custom comfort to someone you love.

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I just happened to take part in that little pillow sale last year to compliment my own Temur-Pedic bed that I won with this video. Cody and I got in an enormous fight the first night the new bed was in the house (disclaimer: while I don’t remember what the fight was about, I do remember being hopped up on pregnancy crazy and take full blame for the argument) and both of us refused to sleep in the new bed when we both wanted to gnaw each others faces off. I tried to sleep on our old couch but my very pregnant body wasn’t having ANY OF THAT.

I snuck into the new bed with the new sheets.

I distinctly remember A) feeling as though I was cheating on Cody with the new bed as he slept on the couch and B) HOLY SWEAR WORD THEY AREN’T KIDDING THIS BED IS AMAZING.

I dare say that those several months of pregnant sleep I got with that new bed were the best nights of sleep I have ever had, pregnant or not.

Here’s the thing, this is supposed to be a post sponsored by Tempur-Pedic talking about holiday comforts. Like the pile of insanely soft blankets and quilts I have curated over there in the corner. The fireplace that we light up most nights in the winter. Hot chocolate. Footie pajamas. All very comfortable holiday enjoyments. It is not supposed to be a post sponsored by Tempur-Pedic wherein I talk about my Tempur-Pedic bed.

But you guys, every night I get to sleep in a bed that was crafted by angels and pieced together with fluffy clouds.

And in the morning I get to wake up to a whole load of love in my bed. In early summer it was waking up to my big kid snuggling with her tiny baby sister. Throughout the summer it was Cody playing with the ever growing baby next to me and lately I get to bring my squashy warm baby into bed with me when everyone else is gone and we read in front of the SAD light. Even though I love the holidays…I don’t love having to wake up in the dark, so every morning Vivi and I park it in front of the glowing bulbs of my SAD lamp and hang out for a half an hour. I’ve never found a better way to start my days.

Forget the busyness and the stress of the holidays, let’s talk about those late mornings sleeping and snuggling in.

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Comfort is the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday gift list, so be sure to take advantage of Tempur-Pedic’s Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

I had a voucher for a free pair of glasses, only the voucher only covered the most basic plastic lens. Considering I am twice legally blind without corrective eye wear, basic plastic lenses in my prescription are comically thick. Not to be one to pass up on free glasses I decided to not only get the basic plastic lens of ridiculous thickness, I also decided to find the most ridiculous frame possible to encase the comically large pieces of plastic.

I picked the most outrageous pair of glasses I could find on purpose. They are giant, round, plastic and purple with silver hearts at the temples.

That way if anyone were to be puzzled by my choice (which there have been many) they would have to wonder “I’m sure she’s aware of how silly those glasses are because she’s wearing them out in public.”

I wear silly glasses on purpose.

And you know what?

They are the most comfortable well working pair of glasses I have ever owned and I love them.

(You can also just prepare yourself now for cats in EVERY. PICTURE. EVER. from now until the end of time because we officially adopted the coolest cats ever.)