My roommate was going to his party as Hugh Hefner. He claimed he needed “a girl’s touch” to complete his costume. I already had mine figured out so together we headed to Nordstrom in hopes of procuring the perfect “Hef” robe.

Men’s robes were placed right in front of the Chanel counter on the lower level. Chanel girl caught my roommates eye immediately.

“But how to I go up to a girl behind a makeup counter and not look obvious and desperately hopeless? Especially when she just saw me with you?”
“You tell her “your sister” needs the perfect lip liner to go with this lipstick.” I pulled a lipstick from my purse and off he went to conquer Chanel girl.

It took a $24 lip liner ($24!) but he got her number, he was on cloud nine.

“Is there anything I can do for you? That was brilliant.”

“Do you need anything from RadioShack? There’s this one guy that works up there and I’d really like to know his name.”

“I could use new batteries for the remote. Let’s go.”

As soon as we turned into RadioShack my stomach dropped, he would be the one helping us. I hadn’t had a crush like this, well, ever. I called a friend on my cell phone so as to avoid any eye contact with hunky RadioShack boy, I was that nervous. But before I headed off to hide behind the headphone display like the giggly school girl I was, I noticed his name tag dangling from his lanyard.

“Cody”

In an effort to keep princesses from taking over my entire existence, I decided to introduce some more “testosterone laden” toys into the moosh’s collection.

Enter the Autobots. (Decepticons? I don’t know how to tell. Cody will be so disappointed.)

“What new land have we here, FlyBaller?”

“Not sure, PremiumGrind, let’s find some locals.”

Needless to say, Mr. and Mrs. Little People were not for opening up their door to ginormous shape shifting robots with guns for arms. So the bots traveled over to Weebleville, hoping the local law enforcement could give them some information about this new pink princess world.

Sadly, Penguin Officer Weeble was so frightened by the newcomers he was speechless (and messed his Weeble Police car, but shhh. That’s between us).

Then from across the room came a sweet voice,

“Boys? Oh Boys?” it was Snow White, the village harlot.

Snow White, FlyBaller and PremiumGrind all made fast friends.

Did I mention they made fast friends with the liquor cabinet too? It was a shameful sight when the village awoke to the three miscreants the next morning.

The townspeople had had ENOUGH. With pitchforks in hand they tossed out the surly newcomers.

The Autobots had no choice but to head out of town on the last Pooh train of the day.

Beaten, dejected, but satisfied. Snow White sure did know her way around shifters and ball bearings.

*******************

Are you DISGUSTED with me? It all started when I was trying to change one of the Transformers from car to robot and Cody told me “Transformers aren’t supposed to involve grunting, you’re doing it wrong.” Then he made me watch Transformers last night.

Talk about weird dreams.

If you have a little boy in your house posing as your husband or boyfriend, the Transformers movie was MADE for him. Same geeky deliciousness as the ’80’s cartoon, only updated with better graphics and lots of cleavage.

AUTOBOTS!

ROLL OUT!

Cody’s mom is in town and last night while making last minute alterations to my awesome Halloween costume I learned that her kids weren’t allowed to participate in Halloween activities after 12 and she NEVER dressed up.

So there I was standing in my awesome Halloween costume with two Halloween humbugs staring at me.

My mom dressed up.

Doesn’t everybody dress up?

Shouldn’t everyone dress up?

Do you still dress up?

http://www.buzzdash.com/ebb.js?id=47494

If you don’t dress up do you think those of us parading around in costume are complete fools?

ARE YOU SAYING YOU THINK I’M A FOOL?

THAT’S IT. OFF MY BLOG!

Just kidding, just know that you’re no fun and the moosh thinks I’M AWESOME.

I AM AWESOME.

Humbug.

What are your “Halloween rules”?

Welcome to the second meeting of LWA (Law Wives Anonymous). I’m your host, Casey. Today’s disgruntled wife comes to us from somewhere in the the frozen North (anonymity people) and is married to a man who just happens to be in his first year of law school. (Collective groan of understanding everyone.) She’s unable to vent her true frustrations over at her place due to a little problem known as her family. (Again, groan of understanding.)

This may just be a regular feature here on moosh in indy. So if you’re married to or dating a law student, a Med student, a dental student, an attorney,  a doctor,  a PhD student, a mechanic or even a plumber LET IT OUT. It’s safe here, I delete trolls. Email me, mooshinindy at gmail dot com and get some deliciously cheap therapy.

Without further adieu, I give you Lonely in Law, eh?.

*********

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could just play make believe like your little kiddo and everything would be perfect?…Well for me it’s been one of those MONTHS! I just have to get it off my chest. First of all my husband’s in law school. Enough said. He also is in Law Review (basically the deans list that decides which law articles get published) and competing in the Laskin Moot (pretend court case) and also a negotiation competition. Which you’re supposed to drop classes for the Law review and Laskin…but nooo he hasn’t. enough about that the real reason(s) why I need to rant. Okay soo, my van is dead. We got it last year as a used van… well it has a leaking head gasket, whatever that is, so randomly when I turn left corners it will stall in the middle of the intersection, and anyone on student loans knows we are broke and don’t have money for a new one. So we will be carless in a climate that last year went down to -48 Celsius… don’t know what that is F, you can figure it out Americans. And to boot My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost a year now…….. took a test today… and it was negative. So i am in a bad mood. I don’t understand how with our first one I was on the FRIGGEN PILL and I got prego but when we are actually trying I can not get prego for the life of me… it makes me mad, and feel like I am letting my husband and my self down. Oh and also I hate the city I am living in right now (I know you too Casey) but honestly I feel sooo flipping alone, I don’t feel like I fit in, I don’t feel like I have any friends, I can’t be myself, I just hate it. So all in all…. life sucks right now for me….. Good news is that I love my husband and Daughter no matter what happens I have them! And they love me for who I am.

Thanks Casey I needed to get that out and couldn’t on my blog. Now I am continue to be my happy self!

I was tagged over a month ago for a meme involving the ABC’s. (HI LIAM! NOT SURE IF YOU WANT TO BE LINKED! HI!)

Now if I were able to afford the therapy I so desperately need he or she would tell me to work on my relationship with Indiana. Hating the place you live can really drag a girl down. So instead of focusing the meme on me, I’ll be doing the meme about Indiana.

In case you were ever crazy enough to move here.

It happens.

Really, it does.

Promise.

Here it goes…

A-Awfully close to Chicago.

B-Big fields of corn.

C-Corn, so much damn corn.

D-Dolphin dome at the zoo, pretty awesome. Surprisingly.

E-FriEd PEpsi.

F-Flat. So flippin’ flat.

G-Gardens. White River Gardens. Perdy. Also surprising.

H-H&M (This is only a plus if you live somewhere without an H&M)

I-Indianapolis. Learning to spell this (quickly and out loud) sucks.

J-Jennifer, did you see all the Fried Pepsi?

K-Kentucky is down there. See?

L-Louisville is close. Good times.

M-Moisture, as in humidity. (H&M is way cooler than humidity, that’s why it won H.)

N-NASCAR.mmm hmm, that’s right.

O-HOOsier. (Again, H&M, way cooler.)

P- Pacers. If you like that sort of thing, which I don’t. But, you know.

Q-Queen of Shake Shake and Mike Rowe-have some Fried Pepsi.

R-Raccoons, man, they’re everywhere. Most are dead. But still everywhere.

S- Sirens, tornado sirens to be exact. Those are fun.

T-Tax! No sales tax on food!

U-Umbrellas, make sure you have one that CAN’T TURN INSIDE OUT.

V-Fried Vegetables. With a side of what? Yep, Fried Pepsi.

W-World champion Colts.

X-X marks the spot for wha? FRIED PEPSI!

Y-You want more meat? Because we have the Rib Festival.

Z-Zebras. At the zoo. Two birds, one letter. Skills people, mad skills.

We had dinner tonight one table away from the moosh’s preschool teacher, Miss Gloria.

A majority of dinner was spent avoiding ketchup covered fingers which were waving wildly in Miss Gloria’s direction.

When we had all finished our cheeseburgers Miss Gloria snuck up behind the moosh to tickle her goodbye.

Her tickle caught the moosh off guard and resulted in the moosh slamming her face into the table.

(Commence breathless crying.)

Well, at least Miss Gloria will know why the moosh has a fat lip in her school photo next week.

Whoops.

***Enjoy the plethora of guest postage over the next few days. Read, comment, repeat. It’ll be better than chocolate covered Brad Pitt. Promise.***

Saddle up kids it was another eventful day at the local YMCA.

All this two hour working out a day stuff?

Totally paid off today.

HOW?

I was hit on.

By Rob.

He’s been working out for two years, he started in a home gym and the manager of his previous gym was mean so he “was like outta there” and joined the Y.

He likes it here.

OH! Is this the part where I get to mention that Rob weighs in at an impressive 120 lbs. and is a towering 5’2″? OH! AND! And! that he can bench a mind boggling, well, however much the bar weighs?

That’s right Cody, watch out, Rob’s on the prowl.

Rawr.

Oy, bless his heart, I am flattered. But why is it that the Brazilian soccer player and the firefighter in Chicago made my heart all a flutter more so than snaggletooth skeevy Rob?

When everyone except your betrothed is off limits shouldn’t any little nod in your direction be just as flattering as a nod from Chicago’s finest? (And OOH was he fine.)

Flattered, yes. Creeped out? MmmHmm. To tell you the truth he fits a lot of profiles you hear about on Law & Order.

Hmm.

Oh, so then I was in the sauna and a woman with Hilary hair came in and said (wait for it)

“Gosh, it’s a little hot in here.”

Let’s make a quick list of places you’d expect it to be “a little hot.”

5. Swanky hotel with husband sans anklebiter.

4. Sahara.

3. Death Valley.

2. Any old person’s house.

and NUMBER ONE

1. A SAUNA.

She may have had the hair but not the brains.