you are not.

Posted bycasey coombsPosted indepression

You are not the only one who spends all day in bed, wakes up ten minutes before your significant other gets home and plows through the house attempting to give them some semblance of your productivity.

You are not the only one who hates taking that pill everyday.

You are not the only one who stops taking your medication because you hate what it does to you and why can’t you just feel normal on your own?

You are not the only one for whom medication does not work.

You are not the only one who has spent an inordinate amount of money in an attempt to make yourself feel better.

You are not the only one who wants a hug from your husband without him attempting to make a move on you.

You are not the only one with a significant other who just doesn’t get it.

You are not the only one that wants to crawl back in bed instead of walking with your kids to the park on a sunny day.

You are not the only one who wants to kick puppies and wield stabby objects when someone suggests you “pray harder” or “have more faith.”

You are not the only one who has gone into a shouty rage when asked “Did you remember to take your medication?”

You are not the only one that is afraid to write about your feelings on the Internet.

You are not the only one who worries how other people will perceive your so called “weaknesses.”

You are not the only one who spent years self medicating with alcohol.

You are not the only one who regrets their children on the bad days.

You are not the only one with a family who doesn’t understand “what the hell’s wrong with you and why on earth can’t you just get over it already?”

You are not the only one who cries at silly things all the time.

You are not the only one who is tired all the time.

You are not the only one who never wants to have the sex.

You are not the only one who doesn’t want to have more children because you’re just not sure you could handle going through post partum again.

You are not the only one who has been in a hospital for depression.

You are also not the only one who has considered if a stay in the hospital wouldn’t be just what you needed.

You are not the only one who worries about passing this disease down to your children.

You are not the only one who feels this way.

But you know what you are?

YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.

And if you keep insisting that you are for the sake of your own pride?

You are not going to get better.

God didn’t put billions of people on the planet for us to only take care of ourselves.

106 thoughts on “you are not.”

  5. Your words are so healing and comforting. And as you know, have the ability to save a life. A life that is now the reason I continue to live.

    Thank you. Again and again. Over and over and over……

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  8. Brava!!

    Been there. Done that. Am there presently. Doing that.

    Carry on, my little friend.

    There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me.

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  19. (answering my own question): because we don’t talk about it enough, no one wants to admit it, the truth hurts, but sets
    us free. Thank you for paving the way for so many that might never be able to say it out loud.

    Steph

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  21. You get it. You really really get me. I never thought I would say that.

    I get you. I do. We might be internet-sisters. We just might be.

    hugs and high fives

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  23. You are not alone. And a long, long, long time ago I learned the value of a HUG given just for a HUG – and not as a prelude sex. Back rubs meant as back rubs – and not as a prelude to sex.

    It’s called respect.

    And it’s something that goes both ways.

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  24. Thank you. You are incredibly brave. You help me SO much with your ability to communicate so clearly this horrible disease. So many times I whisper “me too” – because you have so eloquently put into words feelings I didn’t think could be described. And so many days I wonder if it is possible for anyone to really “understand.”

    You understand.

    Me too.

    Thank you.
    ❤

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  26. I wish there was a “like” button just like on FB so that I could tell you I read this, I agree, and I appreciate you helping me see I’m not alone, but without having to say all of that. I “LIKE” this post. Thanks Casey.

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  34. I. Just yes. Yes.

    Last week? i didn’t get a re-fill of my meds. Maybe to see what would happen. I said I forgot. In a way I did. It was sorta on purpose. Sadly it didn’t end up being a good idea.

    So yes. And thank you.

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  37. Thank you for this. Most people don’t know my struggles with depression and this post today really made me feel better. You can speak so well for many of us and I know that I personally need that.

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  47. While some of these may not speak directly to me; the overall message does. I feel too many days like I have a huge group of aquaintances and no friends… no-one that I can turn to when I need an emotional shoulder of helping hand. Thanks for the reminder that there are folks I can turn to; I probably just have to ask.

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  48. long time reader, first time commenter.

    i wanted to say i love your blog. it gives me so much strength. i feel like i can connect with you through similarities (depression, bi-polar, attempted suicide, LDS). i really needed to hear this post today. thank you. thank you for today, and every other day, you are strong enough to share. i hope it helps you as much as it helps everyone else who is reading.

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