I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
My church has even put out a formal request to the media about how and when to use specific references to the Church.
The official name of the Church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This full name was given by revelation from God to Joseph Smith in 1838.—
While the term “Mormon Church” has long been publicly applied to the Church as a nickname, it is not an authorized title, and the Church discourages its use.
When writing about the Church, please follow these guidelines:
- In the first reference, the full name of the Church is preferred: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
- Please avoid the use of “Mormon Church,” “LDS Church” or “the Church of the Latter-day Saints.”
- When a shortened reference is needed, the terms “the Church” or “the Church of Jesus Christ” are encouraged.
- When referring to Church members, the term “Latter-day Saints” is preferred, though “Mormons” is acceptable.
- “Mormon” is correctly used in proper names such as the Book of Mormon, Mormon Tabernacle Choir or Mormon Trail, or when used as an adjective in such expressions as “Mormon pioneers.”
- The term “Mormonism” is acceptable in describing the combination of doctrine, culture and lifestyle unique to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
- When referring to people or organizations that practice polygamy, the terms “Mormons,” “Mormon fundamentalist,” “Mormon dissidents,” etc. are incorrect. The Associated Press Stylebook notes: “The term Mormon is not properly applied to the other … churches that resulted from the split after [Joseph] Smith’s death.”
Okay. *yawn* Are we all on the same page?
Good.
Nine times out of ten I call myself a Mormon. Or LDS. Five times out of ten Mormon is spelled wrong by the general public (Morman, which let’s face it, I have enough man in my life.) and three times out of ten when I use the term LDS, a joke is made about LSD. It’s also really close to FLDS (the polygamists, I cover that one here.) and the RLDS (also a completely different religion.) so for most people I keep it to the simple two syllable term, Mormon.
You’re not going to offend me if you call me a Mormon. If you precede it with four letter words ending in “ing” my feelings may bruise slightly. As long as you’re not trying to be hateful? Call me whatever you want. Same goes for most people I know who share the same beliefs as me, as long as you’re not being a jerk? We can take a joke and you can call us whatever is most convenient (which most of the time is Mormon.)
Now I can’t speak for other groups in the world. Everyone is going to take name calling differently. I have made the grave mistake of deeply offending someone by using the term “Jew.” It was not in a hateful or anti-Semitic way, however taken out of context I can easily see where I went wrong. At the same time I see other people using the term “Jew.” Even Rabbi Shmuley, (who’s totally on twitter HI RABBI SHMULEY!) used the term “Jew” in one of his tweets.
*sigh*
Is it one of those things where only those who are “in” are allowed to use the vernacular? *deep breath*
I hope you can understand why I’m frustrated. We’ve become so set as a society to take anything as an offense that we react before we think a lot of times.
Sometimes it’s easier to refer to someone as “the Jewish one” or “the gay one” or “the heavier one” or “the black one” or “the one in a wheelchair.” It’s not because we’re all Anti-Semites, homophobes, vain, racist or have something against handicapped people sometimes it’s just easier to point someone out with an obvious difference. You all know you have that one Aunt you refer to as “The Crazy One.” Every family has one. I remember at BlogHer last year trying to tiptoe around the fact that Heather B. was black. So what? She is! And she refers to herself as such on her blog.
But is okay as a white person to call another person black because I’m not? Because I don’t understand what it means to be black? Should I keep to the more politically correct term of “African American?” Is it even okay for me to refer to myself as a white person? Because deep down (okay, my nose) is a Greek person, and under that (my pale skin) is an Irish person.
Honestly I don’t like it when white (caucasian) people refer to themselves as “crackers.” It makes me uncomfortable, much as I would imagine the N term makes black (African American) people feel. (See? I can’t even utter the N word. But you know what I’m talking about.)
Why is race and religion and physical appearance such a big deal? Our president is black, I’d make friends with a Baptist just as quick as I’d make a friend with a fellow Mormon and frankly this whole Prop 8 mess? I speak for myself (MYSELF) when I say that I’ve seen more same sex couples take their unions more seriously than a lot of “traditional” couples. (I’m looking at you Britney Spears.)
We all have value, and short of those derfwads floating around the world who live to hurt people by calling them names like a six year old bully, most of us aren’t out to hurt anyone else.
So if I use the word “Jew” and eat bacon in front of a Jewish person it’s not because I’m a jerk or Anti-Semite. While I’ll do my best to keep my pork consumption to myself I won’t always remember. It’s not my lifestyle.
Just as if you cuss up a storm and drink three glasses of wine in front of me, it’s not because you’re a jerk trying to hurt or offend me, it’s what YOU are used to. (Or your name is Tanis.)
And if somewhere along the lines I offend you or you offend me? I’ll be sure to tell you like a grownup. Just as I’d expect you to do the same. Because the likelyhood that I meant to hurt you? Is smaller than a fish’s eyeball.
making unbreakable - formerly moosh in indy. 
I stand by the waaaaay back version of cracker – meaning crazy person.
For sure I am one.
Snort.
xoxo to you, babe. Good post.
VDogs last blog post..Roll Call
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It takes a LOT to offend me, and as your token “Ask a Jew” friend, I can tell you that it would never offend me to be called a Jew. I mean, I am one, and all. And the only reason eating bacon in front of me would ever be mean is because IT SMELLS SO GOOD AND I WANT NOM NOM.
Ahem.
My point is, don’t worry your pretty, pretty head. I know you; you would never intentionally offend anyone, and always seem to be interested in and sensitive to other people’s beliefs. xoxo
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I’d never call myself a cracker.
And I try to limit my consumption of liquor to two glasses of wine in front of you, chicklet.
Seriously though, this post and your willingness to speak your truth and how you see the world is why I not only respect you and admire you but love you enough to try to remember not to drop a F-bomb in front of you.
(Alright. So I fail miserably most times, but darn it, I try.)
xo
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Well said as always. Excellent post!!
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I totally agree with you. I think everyone’s strict adherence to and concern with these strictly politically correct terms has caused most people to be overly sensitive. Worrying how everyone else is trying to offend us or put us down, or constantly worrying how we might be unintentionally offending people. It’s ridiculous. Great post. 🙂
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What kind of fish?
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I can’t tell you how many times I have been called a “Polack” in my life and is has hurt because it was used in a joking manner.
I really do hope that our children will grow up in a world that is more tolerant and respectful of each other. I know that’s all puppies and rainbows and will probably never happen. But one can dream. And we are making progress, no?
OHmommys last blog post..Thank God my parents had the foresight to live in a refugee camp because I rock at motherhood.
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Preach it, sista. I don’t make such a big deal out of differences that I’m going to spend my precious time figuring out all the preferences of each subset of people that I might encounter. I figure out what is generally considered polite toward all people, and stick to that, assuming it will be seen as polite. I try to be aware of major “trigger” words, and avoid them. Can I please get credit for making that much effort?
Can we also ask that people not be PERSONALLY offended when we disagree on political/moral/social issues? Just because I don’t support [insert activism item here] or even if I feel that it’s morally wrong, doesn’t mean I am so closed minded that I fully define people by that one aspect of themselves. It doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with people whose opinions – on SOME things – are diametrically opposed to mine.
Dellas last blog post..Just what you always wanted.
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I (am not black) but I tend to go with what the black people I know call themselves, and it’s usually ‘black’ not African-American. Hey because some of the black people I know are NOT African-American. They’re Jamaican say, or from French Guiana, or whatever.
And my son? Is half black. Because his dad thinks of himself as black, and I think he gets to choose what he’s called.
I’m hard to offend though.
Miss Graces last blog post..I hated being 16 around us too
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You have so much class and grace, Casey, and anybody who even *kind of* knows you, knows this.
Keep on being a rockstar.
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VERY well said Casey.
ps. I’m a Baptist!
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Casey, I freaking LOVE you.
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@OHmommy
So tell me about this “Polack” term.
I’ve never used it, is it ever okay to use it?
I’ve never used it for fear of hurting someone and not being entirely sure of it’s meaning or proper application.
So there you go. Please advise.
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You got balls of steel, m’dear.
I’m actually super surprised to see cracker get thrown around all the time. In the South, it doesn’t mean the same thing I don’t think. But it’s okay cause I’m pretty sure Californians are mostly all nutbars.
Can I say Californian?
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I never even knew the church didn’t want us called mormons!!
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Casey. You and I have hashed out the Mormon/conservative Christian stance and we came to the same conclusion.
Jesus is Jesus.
As for the other pints, I wholeheartedly agree. I am color blind.
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Or, points. No pints happening over here.
Angellas last blog post..Uncharted Waters
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How do you feel about “Jew” as a verb?
Marinkas last blog post..Family Secrets
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Hey Casey,
I’m 100% Jewish (including my nose) – you can eat your pork in front of us. The rules are on my head, not yours. Anyway, it’s the movies on Friday nights and the shopping on Saturdays that makes me jealous, not the pork.
But Marinka, it’s no good as a verb. Or I can’t think of any way that it’s any good, at least.
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Butting in here because I know the answer… Polock (also spelled pollock) is a term used for people of Polish descent. As someone who lived in Michigan most of my life, and thus around a lot of Polish folks, I’ve ONLY ever heard it as a derogatory term meaning implying that the person is dumb. Pollock jokes are generally interchangable with blonde jokes.
I’ve known people who were Polish who called themselves that jokingly, just like it’s common to hear black people use their own derogatory word as a term of affection, but I have never (and my husband confirms this) known it to not be a derogatory term.
So the answer to “is it ok” is probably, “only if you’ve been invited, and then only in private.”
Dellas last blog post..Just what you always wanted.
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@Marinka
“Jew” as a verb is never okay as far as I’m concerned. I’m not sure if that’s the way the rest of the world feels but a heritage should never be a verb.
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This was awesome. It’s so frustrating how easily society becomes offended now. When did we all get so sensitive?
Brees last blog post..Chicken
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I’ve had a variation on this problem. My daughter has a friend at church. That friend’s mom has one leg. In trying to help a new woman in the ward connect this mom’s name to a face, I was hesitant to point out the obvious–that she only had one leg. It was the quickest, easiest identifier, but it felt weird immediately identifying her that way, as if that was the only thing to know about her. It’s similar to a guy I knew in college. He was the best DJ I’ve ever known and threw killer parties, but was built like a T-rex. It was more comfortable to point him out in a crowd by describing his clothes than saying he had tiny arms. We get so caught up in tiptoeing around perceived offense that it hamstrings our ability to properly communicate.
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I think you showed guts in posting this. I wish i had the same guts sometimes too. Offence is a hard thing to understand, though isnt it better to be yourself and not walk on eggshells around others? I dont know.
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aw…casey. are you trying to tell me you want to be friends? well this SOUTHERN(gasp)baptist is totally up for that! just don’t ask me to go get a brazilian wax with you. just the thought makes me feel faint. and yes…i have had 4 c-sections, but for some reason ripping hairs from my nether regions sounds so much worse!
i completely agree with what you are saying. i recently wrote a post where i talked about how one of my kids offended someone by calling them a mexican. after living in turkey and going to an international school they were used to calling other kids pakistani, iraqis, brazilians, english, italians…whatever because that’s where they were from! here it was natural for them to assume that someone of mexican descent was ok with being called mexican. now we know better.
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It annoys me that we’re not allowed to say “retarded” or “fat” or “midget” because it’s offensive. I disagree, and I use those words, but not in a malicious way. That short guy, he’s a midget. That 700# guy, he’s fat. And that 16 year old boy that rides the short bus and reads at a second grade level, he’s retarded and fits the definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary. It’s sad that people choose to be offended by things like words. I would understand if one were to use those words in a hurtful manner, but if one is using a word in its correct context with no mean intent, then I (personally) see no problem.
On the subject of your religion. I fully admit that I am extremely ignorant to LDS, Mormonism, etc… when I think of Mormons, I think of multiple wives. That’s it. How sad is that?
Joe @ IrrationalDads last blog post..Got to keep on movin’
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I grew up not being allowed to say “Polack” or “retarded” or even “stupid”. But I did grow up saying “Black” and I can’t stop saying that now. Occasionally, the PC term pops out of my mouth. On average, I’m hard to offend. But if the recipient finds my words offensive and hurtful then who am I to try to defend them? Who am I to keep saying it just because I want to do so?
To be honest, the things that hurt more than the namecalling (which, let’s face it, is childish and meant to be hurtful) is the veiled comments and beliefs of people we trusted.
You’re allowed to call me Chocolate Goddess any time, though.
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Just because I’m still up and I have nothing better to do than keep posting here…
I was told once that “In order to give offense, the other party must TAKE offense [at what you have said].” It is so very true.
Dellas last blog post..Just what you always wanted.
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Oh, Phew. I’m so glad you referenced Tanis, because I was totally worried you were talking about me right then.
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“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” Is too much of a mouthful, can’t I just say “them”?
mwah!
Adriennes last blog post..DSL who?
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@adrienne
As long as you capitalize it.
Or in California I hear it has been changed to “THEM” with a dramatic finger point.
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Joe @IrrationalDad,
Just because by definition of the word makes the semantics accurate, it does not in any way excuse the social stigma or emotional hurt attached with words such as retarded, fat or midget.
By choosing to use these words and hide behind the definition and ignore the powerful stigmas attached to them you are perpetuating a culture of ignorance and promoting harmful stereotypes.
Perhaps one day you will see the difference in semantics once these hurtful labels affect someone you love.
Just know that by continuing to use words with such strong negative connotations you are hurting someone.
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Casey, I heard that YOU PERSONALLY AS A MORMON financed, sponsored, and created the campaign for Prop 8. True?
Miss Graces last blog post..I hated being 16 around us too
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People need to lighten up. The one that gets me is the “retarded” got changed to “handicapped” that got changed to “disabled” that got changed to “special abilities” one. It freaking kills me.
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I love your site and think this is a great post. I am concerned that you lumped atheists in with “Anti-Semites, homophobes, and vain or a racist” folks though.
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@Amanda
See!
Perfect, I of course didn’t mean any harm by it, I need a better word.
See? It’s me perpetuating the stereotype that atheists are bad people.
Which they’re TOTALLY NOT.
*sigh*
Any suggestions?
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We need fewer “bad names” and more “flavors of chocolate ice cream” in this world.
xo
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@Miss Grace
I came up with the entire thing all by myself. All eleventymillion dollars for it too.
Even though I personally think it’s hooey.
Gays *are going to be* allowed to marry much sooner than later, so why not save the money and the hate and the name calling for something more useful? Like Rachael Ray?
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I must agree with your hubby, it is actually (as always) extremely good 🙂
Some of the comments in response are interesting…
But to each their own. I guess that’s my problem, its ok if everyone says I’m wrong if I believe this or that. But if I disagree with them and say something about it I’m the most horrible person in the world.
Alas, thanks for the post!
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The blade on this double-edged sword is fierce. On one hand, words can define us. They can invoke pride and a sense of belonging. On the other hand, sometimes those same words can harm us. The damage can literally send shock waves felt by future generations. But who decides ultimately? We do.
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Thank you. I constantly find myself unsure of what to say, or call people. Are you black or African American? Mentally handicapped or disabled? A Jew or Jewish?
The crazy thing is, my boyfriend is Jewish, and four years later I’m still not entirely sure when its ok to say what when with him. I try not to offend people, but at the end of the day, I just want to get to know them.
tutugirl1345s last blog post..So much to say, so little–oh, who am I kidding.
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I know this couldn’t have been an easy post to write, but you did it so well. And yes, sigh.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearings last blog post..And I’m Not Even Made From A Secret Rubber Tree
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YES!
Thank you for this.
Headless Moms last blog post..A Big Fat Rat of a Tale
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AmenAmenAmen.
I only kind of skimmed the comments – In regards to the word “retarded”: My hubbly-bubbly manages a group home for mentally handicapped people. He is allowed to say “retarded” but under no circumstances can he say “retard.” He generally doesn’t say either and sticks to “mentally challenged.”
Ah, semantics.
Sherrys last blog post..And you are. . .?
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Thank you Casey. And I don’t think atheists are any better or worse than others or less subject to oh, say-vanity. But I do think “atheist” in itself is a fine word. I’m not at all offended to be called an atheist. I just don’t see it as equivalent to those other definitely negative words. (sorry to be heading off topic) and thank you!
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“the Church” or “the Church of Jesus Christ”??
And y’all wonder why some people look askance at Mormons?
Nobody likes to have their own beliefs diminished by subtle associations. It is now clearer why Mormonism leaves such a bad taste in some people’s mouths. As a sect, they’re uppity and full of themselves. I guess that pride thing just doesn’t apply?
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I’m really glad you wrote this post. You made excellent points and I think it’s very good to express exactly how you feel and how ridiculous it would be for someone to consider you hateful in any way.
I’m just confused why it would offend you if I called you a dancing Mormon or a laughing Mormon.
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It’s so hard to say the right thing all the time- virtually impossible I’m guessing.
In order to speak it right all the time you must know your audience (or who your speaking to) very, VERY well.
Which is typically impossible.
My solution, stray away from anyone different than you and only interact with people EXACTLY like you to avoid awkward social confrontations.
That would work, right?
I kid, I kid…
DesignHER Mommas last blog post..Eat it like a long weekend
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Fantastic post Casey. Truly wonderful.
And I agree.
The whole way this played out disgusts me. I think you should have been contacted privately rather than the situation dealt with the way it was. It was childish and – I think – just a way to drum up attention.
Anyone who truly knows you should know what you meant. As soon as I read it, I KNEW you meant no harm and so should have the other person.
I am so sorry that you were so hurt by this whole thing. I’ve been thinking about you a lot because I KNOW you’re not one to intentionally hurt someone and you’re very much like me – HATE when people are upset with you. LOL
xoxox
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I for one can attest to the fact that Casey will a misused term swiftly yet like an adult. I once made a “you people” joke (referring to people in Indy) that went horribly awry, but we’re friends now, at least until she stumbles across another one of my profanity laden posts, and then I become the subject of prayer for my agnostic soul. 🙂
Also? Thanks for clearing all that up. I understood that personally, referring to you as a Mormon is OK, but other members of your faith should be called a Latter-Day Saint? Is that correct?
SciFi Dads last blog post.."You play by yourself a lot."
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